Post # 1
Hello, all. My fiance and I have been together for over a year. When we first met, I talked up my family so much because they are exceptionally wonderful people. As soon as he started coming around, my fiance felt like he was not “fitting in.” But, seriously, throughout our relationship, my fiance has stated many times that he feels like he’s the “black sheep” and that he feels like no one accepts him…..which is completely off base. For example: He recently moved into a new house last week during the day, and he was hurt that my brothers didn’t offer to help. They were working…I tried to explain that without acting defensive.
They’re my brothers and I love them, so I don’t want any bad blood.
I guess I just need some help figuring out what to do or say. I’m a fix-it type of person, so I just want guidance.
Call me dramatic. I’m sure that’s exactly what I am.
Post # 3
@decemberbride121513: If your brothers do actually like him, maybe they can invite him on a guy date. Really- it just takes time. My SO gets along with some of my family members better than others, mostly because they are geeky in similar ways. But I’ve tried to foster that by making sure we, as a couple, support the family, too. For instance, my cousin is an artist who does a lot of comic book kind of stuff. SO is into comics, so we go to cousin’s art shows together. Cousin feels supported & likes SO for it. SO feels closer to cousin simply because he’s supporting him. We see cousin & his girlfriend more. Cousin’s parents see us supporting him and see our relationship as a positive thing…. it spills over. He just really needs to connect with one or two people and HE will start to view the family differently.
Post # 4
@MexiPino: That’s actually extremely helpful. My fiance is an engineer, so math, science and all things comics are his thing, so you and I have that in common 😉 One of my brothers is building his house and my fiance helped for a while, but he hasn’t since the summer has been crazy.
Anyway, I’ll mention that to him, because it’s definitely not a fun situation to be in, for either one of us. I appreciate your help and advice!
Post # 5
Oh, those sensitive geeky guys!! I got myself one too. For me, I just give reassurances. I also have told him whose opinions matter to me, and whose doesn’t. He knows my parents and siblings really like him and really those are the people who matter the most, as they know me the most.