(Closed) Assuming engagement is over..follow up 3

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Well he was trying to put the blame on you, when he was clearly in the wrong. I’m sorry you are going through this, I can’t even imagine. Hopefully you have people to lean on during this time. Thank God you didn’t marry him, all of this would have been much harder. Stay strong!

Post # 4
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

What a WEIRDO he is! Glad you are out of it!

Post # 5
9130 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

What a dick! All of his behavior since you confronted him really proved that you dodged a bullet. Stay strong lady xoxo

Post # 6
4656 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@anonconfused:  I know this is really tough now, and it might be a long time before it feels better, but someday you will know you dodged a bullet. Marrying this guy would have been a huge mistake and now you are free to find someone who will be loyal to you and commuicative and treat you properly.

Post # 7
216 posts
Helper bee

That’s one real M**%#$ F*#@34. 


I’m so pissed at him for you. I have no advice, because that is the worst thing that could possiby happen to someone. He cheats on you, leaves it open ended and doesn’t say he didn’t or did, doesn’t apologize for all the frustration&hurt (as I am sure this isn’t the first time you argued about it), and disappears? I hate him on your behalf. 



Post # 9
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

*hug hug*


I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure this.


You will heal in time and you will be sooooo glad you found this all out before you got married. 

Post # 10
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This is so sad, but at least you know now you weren’t crazy. Don’t label yourself as a stalker or anything of the sort for wanting to know the truth. You deserve every detail. I hate how men use the term “snooping” or “stalking” to shame women into not holding them accountable for the truth. I reamed my Fiance OUT for this a few weeks ago, as he saw the word “snooper” on TV and thought it would be cute to apply to me. I let him know that I don’t appreciate that at all seeing as how when he asks me a question, I respectfully answer it. If he needs to dance around the truth or change the subject, something is not right. Fiance apologized and admitted that it’s true.

Post # 11
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I am in no way excusing his actions or the way he treated you when he spoke to you – because that cannot be condoned. But maybe he blew up the way he did because he is so angry, not at you but himself and he cannot express it properly so he tried to make himself feel better by shifting the blame to you? It is possible that he is so mortally ashamed that he has been caught (or even just that he could even do it in the first place) that he is crumbling inside. If he actually talks to you about the real issue then it is like he is admitting and and it becomes ‘real’ which may be very hard for him to confront. Again, I’m not saying that this is right – I’m just trying to understand why he would react the way he has.

I think he does miss you and loves you (evident by the photo he sent) but he has major communication issues. It’s pretty obvious he doesnt know how to talk to you about this and is really struggling to find any words at all now.

I feel terrible for you and I wouldn’t blame you if you could not talk to him again, but maybe you need to try to? Even if it is just to get some closure for yourself. You sound like you have been very understanding and level headed, I commend you for this.

Post # 12
10363 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

It sounds like he is expressing all the things that are going on that he is unhappy about. An affair is usually just a symptom of greater problems – not the cause of the problem. Sounds like breaking up is definitely for the best – try and get some space and perspective. Hopefully whatever went wrong in this relationship will help you in your next one!

Post # 13
11268 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@crayfish:  +1


@anonconfused:  i understand that it is hard right now but time heals.  allow yourself to grieve and gain acceptance with this.  trust me, you will feel like a new woman at the end of all of this.

Post # 16
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Wow what a piece of sh*t! He’s trash and you are better off without him! I hope you are able to feel that one day. It’s all very fresh, so it’s natural to still be upset.

I noticed you mentioned Valium (prescription drug). If the feeling sticks, don’t forget to get with your doctor for help moving past this.

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