Post # 32
@anonconfused: I love that you changed his name to “cheater” in your phone. And I understand completely about feeling like you never even knew him. You must be hurting so much right now. I was in a relationship for two and a half years, he had talked about marriage for the last year and had a ring. He planned to propose that weekend, and instead he broke up. And I still loved him for so long and wondered what I could have done differently to fix things.
It was so hard. It took awhile to get over it–but I did eventually. You sound like you are doing so well considering. Please remember that there was nothing you could have done. That was the biggest thing–stop running through it and figuring out where you could have changed this or that or made him love you more or something. You couldn’t have. He was never going to be right.
Hang in there, it will get better eventually. Thinking of you!
Post # 33
what an asshole! seriously! what a piece of SHIT!!!!!!! i know i am the millionth person to say this, but you deserve so much better. like infinitely better. i think you’ve handled yourself so well in this horrible situation. i think in time, after the heartache passes, you will find yourself in a much happier place and i am excited for you.
chin up, xo
Post # 34
@anonconfused: what a loser! I know you can’t feelit now but be glad the engagement is over and never look back. He is a grade A asshole.
Post # 35
@anonconfused: I feel terrible for you but also happy that you didn’t get stuck marrying this schmuck! Only time can take the pain away. Even though it may seem impossible one day it will hurt less, then one day you’ll realize he hasn’t crossed your mind all day, then finally one day you’ll realize that you’re over him and dodged a bullet and that this was a (very painful) blessing in disguise.
I wish I could take the pain away. Oddly enough, everything else in life that’s this painful kills you….except heartache although it can feel like it. Being cheated on makes it 1000 times worse and you didn’t deserve that. I know you’re going to be stronger and better off without him. Remember that every day that goes by is one less day it will take until you’ve moved on and aren’t hurting anymore. Even small steps are steps in the right direction. Try to keep yourself distracted, take up a new hobby, meet people, explore and fight for yourself! Be selfish and remember the bees are always here if you need any support.
Post # 36
@anonconfused: He is such a knob and clearly not good enough for you. I hope that the pain fades for you soon. Be strong, this time next year you will be in amazing place and won’t give this dick a second thought. x
Post # 37
It sounds like this guy has a lot of issues and is not in a good state of mind to have a healthy relationship.
I know it hurts to not have the closure you need, but I would say try to be thankful that his problems are not your problem anymore. You can find someone healthier who is ready to have a honest relationship.
Post # 38
Ok, maybe this makes me sound crazy, but I hadn’t wanted to delete our text message thread from my phone. If I scrolled back through the whole conversation, it started in jan when our break ended. Anyway, I decided I should read through it so I could delete the whole thing. It was odd though, seeing how obvious it was he was treating me like shit since he came back into my life. I must have been so happy that he was back at all that I wasn’t paying attention to the fact he was being so cruel, ignoring me for days sometimes and being really evasive about plans. I kept asking for times we could sit down and plan out when j would move to be with him, but he was never willing to do it. He would say that all he wanted was for me to live with him, but he wouldn’t ever talk to me about how we could make it happen. It makes me feel even more pathetic in a sense that I was putting up with the behavior. I know why I chose to work farther away from him– it was best for my career, which would be best for us. Right?! Tell me I’m not crazy for thinking that was better. I always was going to be with him, but it couldn’t happen right away. Maybe it was crazy and stupid and the worst choice I ever could have made because it made him leave me.
Post # 39
In fact, last timsake brought up me moving, I said my lease was up so I might as well move now and figure out the work stuff later. He told me he didn’t think it was a good idea, that it “wouldn’t fix anything.” I guess I didn’t hear that because I desperately didn’t WANT to hear it. I kept focusing on him saying he loved me and referring to me with his last name.
Yup, definitely today is today where I think this is all my fault. Not the cheating, but the death of our relationship. 🙁
Post # 40
@anonconfused: being far away from You had nothing to do with it. Assholes cheat when you live in the same house. You are way better off without him. And theres nothing you could have done to stop him from cheating. I’ve been cheated on and no matter how great I treated him when he’d get tired of his side piece and come back to me, it never changed. This is just a part of the healing process.
Post # 41
@anonconfused: It makes me really sad that you think YOU are the reason he left you 🙁
Post # 42
@rcac1208: 🙁 well, I’m sure that I only think that way because he has made me. I know that I did nothing wrong other than accept a job placement further away than he would have liked. It was temporary thougH. But I thought he would support me doing what was best for my career I worked so hard for, in the same way that I do for him. But since jan, I have told him over and over I will transfer programs and move now. That its the most important thing to me. That I regret my decision and want to right it. Despite this, he didnt want me to come. I don’t understand. Everything else I did always put him first, I was so giving and caring. I showered him witH attention.
Post # 43
@anonconfused: Listen, you can’t keep thinking like this.
Break the cycle because trust me once you go down the garden path of “What could I have done to keep this from happening” you will come up with one million things that you did that spelled the death of the relationship.
He ended it, not you.
The right man is going to see a placement like the one you had as a stepping stone on the way to a future together. He’s going to see that it is the right career move for you and he’s going to support you because even if it sucks in the present it will pay off big time in the future.
This man wasn’t the right man. Listen, as a doctor you’re going to have to be working some crazy hours as you start your career. You need a partner who is going to be supportive no matter if you are on call or if you have to work nights or something.
The end result was that he couldn’t deal with your career choice and rather than admitting it he took the coward’s way out.
If he didn’t leave you now during this placement it would have been at some other point. Probably after you were married.
Post # 44
@anonconfused: I am so sorry you are going through all this! I just wanted to tell you that you did NOT make a mistake choosing your career over this POS. You should be with someone who supports the choices you make, especially when it comes to bettering yourself and moving up in your career. The fact that he was holding that against you makes him the biggest turd ever! Please don’t blame yourself for any of this. You did nothing wrong!!!
Post # 45
A schmuck would still me a schmuck no matter where you lived. If you had stayed there and missed this great opportunity in your career he still would have been just as awful and when he broke up with you you would have really regretted not having made that career move. Plus, being in a different spot means it’s way less likely that you’ll accidentally run into him!
Post # 46
So why the email? why did he send me that?