Post # 47
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee
All change is good change. You won’t feel that way now but someday you will look back and clearly see him for who he is.
We’ve all been through this type of situation at one time or another; I know I have my own stories of heartbreak. But these experiences are leading you to a place of knowledge, acceptance and understanding and those are wonderful places to be.
When you finally do meet that wonderful man you’ll be able to see just “how” wonderful he is because of how un-wonderful your ex Fiance was. We can only appreciate something fully when we’ve experienced the opposite of it first.
Post # 48
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
@anonconfused: Are you talking about the email with just the old picture and X? He sent it because he wanted to see if he still had you on the hook. SOmething isnt going right with the whore, or he was drunk or bored or horny, so he reached out to you.
Post # 49
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
@KoiKove: yes, the email pic of me with subject “X.” He sent it right at the time he normally would get up on monday morning to go into work, so he really couldn’t have been drunk. It really bothers me; I took it like a slap in the face because it is like him saying ‘oh yeah, I’m out here, not loving you back.’ We haven’t spoken since the 21 of may. I know that I get drunk and think about him…and wonder if he gets drunk and thinks about me. Probably not, he has HER to go to. My goodness, I am filled with so much rage right now.
And I know it makes me sound shallow, but the other woman is really nothing special at all. if she were really hot, or really smart, I would be able to say it. but nope, nothing. I don’t understand why he would be attracted to her since she seems to be the polar opposite of me in every way (that I can see from internet stalking). I know SHE isn’t the issue, he is. But she is so easy to hate. I don’t understand how a woman can knowingly participate in this. God, I have a feeling she will move in with him very quickly. I am sickened.
Post # 50
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
@anonconfused: The right man will support you in your career, not let it interfere with your relationship. I am a physician and my husband moved with me TWICE because I had to go to different states for my internship and residency. I promise you there are decent men out there who will be proud of you for doing well in your career and will stay by your side for it.
Post # 51
Member
29 posts
Newbee
@anonconfused: honestly let go the rage at her. It is not her that has done this to you. She owes you nothing. It is him who has hurt you and chosen to treat you like this. Leave her out of it.
I think you need to start doing one little thing each day for yourself if you can. Just to start giving you little things to smile at/look forward to/distract yourself. Go to a nice place for a coffee, buy yourself some new clothes, if you’re at work for the day make a real effort to talk to someone new who you wouldn’t normally talk to etc. You need other things or people in your life right now.
Also…get off the computer and away from Facebook. No good will come of it. You will just feel sad and lonely and imagine things that may not be happening. Big hugs, it is such an awful time but in a year or so you will realise he is a fool and you are better off.
Post # 52
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
Update… There is no update. I have not heard from him since the 21 of may. I called him one time, he ignored it, and I never called again. Sometimes I want to leave him a scathing voicemail or write him a sad letter, asking if he knows how much pain he has caused. Ultimately I do not contact him, even though it breaks my heart. I think he is waiting for ME to apologize…but WTF?! Its pretty apparent he cheated on me, and is continuing to see his slutty other woman, so I know I should not be responsible for reaching out to him. I know that in these twenty some days we have not talked, that if he did want me, he would have let me know. it sucks, being at this impasse. I want closure, an apology…hell, even a goodbye. But I get zilch. I don’t get it. Yesterday was his bday and it hurt me so badly but everyone was saying to not contact him. So I didn’t. This is horrible. I have no idea what happened to spur this on, I have no idea where the man went that loved me, and I don’t know when he was replaced with this cheating, lying, manipulator that has (by all appearances) an affair then with no words, throws me away like garbage.
Psychiatrists think he has narcissistic personality disorder (covert narcissism to be specific). Anyone have any experience with it ?
Post # 53
Member
1461 posts
Bumble bee
@anonconfused: I know that you’re trying to deal with the pain by finding answers for why he cheated, e.g. he has some kind of personality disorder. But you’re not going to move on until you accept that he did it and that it’s over. It doesn’t matter why or how. He’s obviously not interested in reconciling and he is happily going around with this other woman now. He isn’t worth your time, or even your thoughts on whether he has mental issues.
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