Post # 1
I’m sure there are so many posts about this, but how do you let down well meaning people who assume that they’re invited to your wedding.
Since I am very selective about my facebook friends, all of them are invited, and so I though nothing of putting up the odd post about the wedding, but of course I didn’t take into consideration that people who are more distant friends can see the posts too – through other peoples pages .
So now I have people who have just casually assumed that they are coming – I didn’t twig until someone asked me about my registry, and when I said not to worry about buying us something and they replied “oh but if I’m coming to the wedding I have to buy you something!!”
and I thought “Oh S**T! your not invited!!”
How do you gently let people down! I can’t say I’m only having a small – or select wedding because it clearly isn’t true – and I think the problem is that these people don’t seem them selves as any less close to me than people I have invited – even though they are!
help me please girls!
Post # 3
gee facebook makes wedding planning much tougher! lol
sorry it happened, I guess learn from the lesson and no more wedding stuff on fb part from… sending out invitations today! no invitation, no enterance 😛
Post # 4
Miss Manners recommends replying that you’re just having a very small, family wedding.
Post # 5
The simplest way to “let them down easy” is not to send them an invitation. 🙂 (And isn’t the fact that you haven’t friended them on Facebook an indication that you’re not as close with them as with your other friends?)
Post # 6
this is one of the many reasons why facebook is no place for wedding info. unless you have strict privacy settings, a lot more people than just your immediate friends can see your info. at this point you can either say you’re having a smaller wedding, or let them figure out they’re not invited when no invitation comes in the mail. of course then you run the risk of that very persistent person calling you to let you know their invitation got lost in the mail.
i am super reluctant to talk about the wedding when in a group because there’s always someone around who won’t be invited. any of our friends who have had weddings already understand how hard it is to keep the guest list manageable, but a lot of my friends aren’t married yet and i think some of them think it’s like having a birthday party out at a bar, where everyone you were ever friends with is invited. i’m not looking forward to some of them realizing that no invitation is coming their way…
Post # 7
When I listed my status as “engaged” on Facebook, I found myself bombarded with emails wanting to know all about the details. As much as I don’t mind sharing with my close friends and family, I didn’t need 100 other people that I might have met once thinking they were coming to my wedding. I already have enough trouble with my grandmother inviting people I haven’t been around since I was, oh, 2 or 3, I didn’t need random Facebook people showing up too.
I just don’t divulge all the details, like date and location, to anyone outside of my family and friends circle. Of course, when I do get asked by someone I don’t know that well, I am sure to mention that it will be a small ceremony with close family and friends only, since we’re on a strict budget, to avoid them casually inviting themselves.
I would say just don’t send them an invitation, and adjust privacy settings, or avoid mentioning all the little details online. That should help.
Post # 8
I kept ALL my wedding info completely off of FB, minus my ‘engaged’ status. Seriously though I ahve no idea WHY people would ever assume they are invited, but since they said that you have to let them down.
You should just say that it’s really sweet of them to think of you and want to attend your wedding, but unfortunately due to budget constraints it’s going to be a very small event. Write them a private message though, don’t post it out for everyone to see!