- 7 years ago
SO just called, and I had sort of a Twilight Zone moment.
A little disconjoined background. SO and I live together, but our finances are 100% separate. Neither of us have any debt except my car and his house. There is no mixing of money – anywhere. He pays bills with – and spends – his money, and I pay bills with – and spend – my money. This works well for us, and I’m not seeking judgement on this fact. It is what it is. I know I can go to the mall on Saturday and spend $40 or $50 cash on clothes and not have to worry about coming home to an angry SO.
I know I’ve said this before, but we also both play Magic: The Gathering. MTG is NOT a cheap hobby, but SO is GOOD. He played in a tournament and came in 2nd place, which gets him a seat at an invitational in Chicago in August. (Much like a poker invitational, if that helps Muggles visualize.)
SO and I have had several discussions (and I posted a thread here about our last ering conversation) about spending habits and our engagement. After that discussion, I’ve been a little bit more laid back about his spending because I know he can – and is perfectly willing to – finance my ring.
So, last night, he playtested a new tournament-level MTG deck that is top notch. I play with one of the best (and fastest) decks out there, and he just killed me last night. It’s an expensive deck, with a total cost of about $900. He has a *lot* of what he needs, and in order to get the other cards so he can play it in a tournament, he only needs to go a portion out of pocket. He has a qualifier on Sunday he wants to play in, and first place gets money towards travel expenses for the Chicago event in August.
Soooooo, my phone rings while I’m at work.
Me: “Hey, Honey, what’s up?”
SO: “Not much. Hey, I wanted to run something by you. I worked it up and I thought I was $120 worth of cards short, but I’m actually $200 short. I was thinking about going and picking up what I need to finish the deck for Sunday. I have the cash, but wanted to make sure it wasn’t going to be a problem.”
Me: *stunned silence* (Not at the fact that he’s spending the money on cards, ’cause I’m more laid back about that now, but at the fact that he *asked*.) “Honey, it’s your money, and if you want to finish the deck, go for it. I had a concern, and I told you what it was. It’s your money – do what you want to.”
SO: “Okay. I’m still on the fence…I don’t know if I want to do that. I just wanted to check with you to make sure it was okay if I did decide to do it.”
Ummmmmmmmmm…weird?! You could tell there was hesitation and maybe…I don’t know…guilt in his voice? Like he wanted to, but he’d feel bad knowing that it upsets me?
I guess I’ll just file this in my memory bank. But at least I know he listens to what I say and pays attention. It’s sweet in a very weird and twisted way…