Post # 1
I’ve never felt so sad and miserable and no matter how hard I try I can’t snap out of it this time. I just want to run away. I have kids and I love them more than life but I am honestly at the point where I could seriously just get in my car (leave them with my husband) and drive away for a few days or weeks.
I can’t even pinpoint what exactly is wrong. It feels like everything is wrong and nothing is right. I’ve been trying so hard to see the positive side of things but its not working. My marraige is miserable. My life is miserable. I have no friends at all. No support system. Some kind of health problem the doctors are having trouble figuring out. None of the drugs are working so I stopped taking them. I’m in pain or feeling so ill everyday that I usually can’t leave the house.
I’m totally financially dependent on my husband. I have no family, they are dead to me because they’re very bad people. My inlaws hate me and dont want anything to do with us as long as I am in the picture. I want to cry all the time but the tears never come. I just sit and stare blankly and think about what a mess my life has become. I wish I could be someone else. I feel intensely sad and jealous when I see how happy other people are. How much love and family and support they have. How healthy they are. I think I could be strong enough to deal with everything if it was just a few things wrong with my life, but I feel like in every aspect and part something big is wrong.
All I can see are hurdles from every angle and I feel like I’m drowning. I don’t want to be with my husband because he makes me miserable but there’s nowhere for me to go. I can’t even begin to think about how I would support myself. I have no skills and I’m so sick that I don’t know how I would hold down a job. It’s still undiagnosed whatever is wrong so I can’t get any kind of benefits for it. My life has been full of abuse and bad luck. I feel paralyzed with fear everyday. I feel like I’m suffocating. I have no one to tell, so I’m saying it here.
Post # 2
Please please find a therapist that you can speak to ASAP. I’m sorry you’re going through this. A licensed professional can help you.
Post # 3
I’m sorry you’re struggling, bee. When you say the drugs aren’t working, are you referring to drugs for your physical health or your mental health? If you haven’t sought help for your mental health, I strongly advise you to do so. It sounds like you desperately need someone to talk to and help you with depression, because continuing to live like this is not good for you or your family.
Post # 4
Maybe leaving for a little while is a good idea. However, don’t just run away, perhaps seek an inpatient rehab for mental and physical health if that is possible. If not, therapy might help you build up some coping strategies. Are you currently employed? Some employers offer mental health services through benefits programs.
Post # 5
So sorry Bee, it sounds like aside from any other health issues you may have you are severely depressed, and who wouldn’t be?? With three kids it’s hard. My mom tells us all the time how difficult it was for her to be in a new country, no family, and three kids under five.
You don’t say how old your kids are, but is it possible to get some daycare or time when they are in school to focus on yourself? Go out, exercise, join some groups to meet new people, and slowly form a support group. Community/school/church activities can help.
I agree with previous poster, get help. Talk to your husband. Get therapy and spend more time on yourself, don’t lose sight of you and what makes you a happy, fulfilled person. You’re not just a mom or wife, you need to be able to have people who love and support you.
Post # 7
Telling someone who is in distress that they have a shitty attitude, and that they are the problem, is cruel and unhelpful. You should reconsider your own attitude.
OP you sound seriously depressed, and a lack of social support like friends and family is a huge factor in depression for many people, so it’s not surprising. You absolutely must take steps to treat your mental health, you will not get better by thinking and worrying about it alone. Please find a mental health professional to help you right now.
Post # 8
Since you have access to the internet I say try TalkSpace first. I know getting to a therapist can seem daunting try TalkSpace. They have a therapy app! Do you have a smartphone? Or laptop for just yourself? Try and download it. I’ve heard it’s good and affordable. I tried copy pasting it but I don’t know how to do that on this phone.
Since you are housebound due to illness see if you can also find a support group. I am in one online for my latex allergy. It helps to talk even remotely to people that get it. I’m sure there are unknown illness ir autoimmune illness groups you can join to discusdiscuss ypur symptoms. I’m telling you it’s a game changer. They have private groups in facebook and separate group sites if you’re uncomfortable with FB.
Keep us posted! You can get through this. Baby steps. Think of incrementsl baby steps. Hugs.
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
Please try and talk to a professional therapist it sounds like you’re going through a lot.
Post # 10
If you lack a basic understanding of mental health, you should not give advice on the subject. It will only make the problem worse for OP. Please educate yourself on depression and other mental health issues.
I agree with PP that you sound very depressed. Therapy would be the best first step to take, and I second looking into TalkSpace if you’re currently unable to leave the house. If you can, talk to your husband about needing the resources to focus on your mental health, whether that means putting the kids in daycare for a while or the money to go see a therapist or that he takes over more of the household responsibilities so you can have time to attend therapy. One little step at a time. Hugs.
Post # 11
That was an incredibly ignorant and dangerous thing to say.
Post # 12
First things first: mrsbarack :
fuck off. You’re clearly ignorant when it comes to issues of mental health and you’re being a right bitch right now.
Now, onto the important stuff: Anna1867 :
Can you go back to your doctors and tell them that the meds aren’t working and you’ve stopped taking them? Like others said, a therapist or a professional to talk about your mental health would be super helpful. Also, how long have you been feeling like this? Are there things that brought you joy in the past that you can try going back to for a sort of anchor? Do you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself? If you are, please find someone to help you. It’s so hard when you don’t know what is wrong, but keep searching and trying to heal. Once you’re on the other side things will be so much better. And regardless of your situation, you deserve answers and you deserve to be healthy and happy again. Keep fighting for yourself.
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery
I am so sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed and helpless. As someone who has suffered from depression and anxiety, I would definitely recommend seeking help. You can start by telling your regular doctor about your in over your head feelings and they could most likely inform you of your next steps.
You need to know you are not alone! There is always someone who will listen, someone who understands, or someone who is going through it. You also need to know that this is not your fault. Sometimes life just gives us more than we can handle and we need help is whatever healthy way we can get it. Good luck to you!
Post # 14
Your feeling of overwhelm is definitely consistent with depression. Please get yourself checked out, Bee.
Post # 15
I second talk space! It sounds like only a true professional can help you. Friends and family are no longer able to help you. Hope you feel better soon.
Post # 16
Didn’t your mother ever tell you that if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all? Please follow that advice.
Bee, it’s ok to not be ok. It sounds like you’re having a massively difficult time, I would honestly try and talk to a therapist about what’s going on in your mind and why you’re feeling this way. Please try not to take any negativity to heart xx