(Closed) at my wits end…

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I really don’t think that he should be making this decision alone.  It is a family decision with the couple’s money and he shouldn’t do it with just his money.  This investment could mess up BOTH your futures if something goes wrong with it and he has no right to get you in those problems too.  I said before that I didn’t think that he should be bailing out his father.  I’m sure that someone else would be interested in buying the property if he just listed it.

Post # 4
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I think if at all possible you should put this behind you to celebrate the anniversary tomorrow. Hopefully you both agree that you love each other and want to work through this. Having this challenge to solve does not mean that you have to resent each other. 

When you do talk about it, don’t focus on telling him no and fighting but rather on WHY you both feel differently. Try to get your FH to explain his reasoning and see if he really believes it’s a good investment or not. If so, he should have some factual proof and you should both try to get an objective idea. Consult a financial advisor if you need, but you should be able to get to a consensus on this. 

If the real issue is helping his dad, would you consider making a loan to Father-In-Law instead? If you aren’t comfortable getting financially involved with Father-In-Law at all due to his irresponsibility with money, maybe have a bigger discussion with FH on how he sees your future involvement with both sets of parents. Again, try to focus on facts, not emotions to back up your points. 

This is a tough situation, as usually happens where financial ties with relatives are concerned, but I hope you can get through it. 

Good luck! 

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