(Closed) At my wits end… thinking about running (long)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I did read the whole thing and i am so sad for you. No man should ever speak to you like that. Especially your husband. I hope you have a close girlfriend or some family you can talk to about this.

I know if my sister told me this, i wouldn’t give two-sh*ts about the cost of my plane ticket. I would come up there, help you pack, support and plan the next phase of your life. 

Post # 4
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I can’t tell you what to do, but if it were me, I’d definitely end it. It’s just not worth it. He has shown you his true colors and relationships shouldn’t be that way. No woman should ever be abused that way. If you’re thinking about leaving, maybe it’s for the best. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Post # 5
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My heart breaks for you…

You deserve better than this.

Please, please, let your family know what is going on.

Post # 6
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

weird, it posted twice.

Post # 7
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Country Club

Wow, I am sorry you have to deal with this! No one deserves to be treated like that by their SO. The only thing I can think of is couples counseling. 

Post # 8
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I also read the whole thing and I agree with @Mollytov:  .. If you were my sister I’d also not care about the cost of the ticket I would be there in a heart beat.

 I think if you don’t want to be in the relationship any more and you seem scared which is not a good way to live, I would leave. I mean no one can tell you how to feel or what to do but you seem like you have your mind made up already. Be strong and do what you feel is right and what is going to protect you.

  Good luck and keep us posted!

Post # 9
Member
46449 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

No woman should be told that she is worthless, be yelled at in the middle of the nght, be told who she may or may not talk with, be grilled about things that happened years ago.

I am afraid your SO’s true character is evident now that you are living together. I am also fearful that his behavior will escalate.

Cut your losses. Either tell him to move out or move out yourself. Cancel the ceremony and start the rest of your life without this man.

Post # 10
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m so sorry. I would leave.  I would hope your family would understand. Your Darling Husband is emotionally abusive and you do not have to live like this. 

Post # 13
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If you ever need to vent just send me a pm.

Post # 14
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@globalmargaret:  So sorry for you, that was heartbreaking to read. I echo all PPs when I say that you don’t deserve to be treated like that. No matter the costs/plans/etc, don’t stay in a bad situation just beause it may be “easier” than leaving or because people have plans to come down. You owe it to yourself to not be yelled at, harassed, and intimidated by your own husband. I’m glad your mom is on-board to help you.

Take the time to think it through, and please, look out for yourself. If you do think that you’ll leave, make a plan so that you have a place to go, somone to cover your shop and such, and money set aside for a rough patch. It’s hard work and scary, but it seems like the marriage is, too, and it shouldn’t be that way :-/

Post # 15
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am so sorry to read this… Since your Darling Husband has been deployed has he maybe been checked and treated for PTSD? It’s no excuse for his behaviour but it could explain the extreme change in behaviour. My SO was involved in an attempted hijacking and he became a total asshole. Counselling fixed that.

Post # 16
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@globalmargaret:  I am in no way dismissing what he is doing to you but could the change in location be affecting him? I had a friend who had SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and moved to AZ from the northwest and was a much happier person. Is there any pattern to his moods or any idea what changed him?

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