Post # 1
Incredibly terrible timing, to say the least. As selfish as it feels, I have no idea what to do with my wedding at this point. I just found out yesterday that she has been having some sort of affair with someone. I don’t know what to say to her, how to have her involved (or not involved). I don’t want to regret not really including her, but I don’t even know how I can look at her at this point. It’s such a shock and has brought up a lot of anger and frustration, hurt, etc. She is supposed to be with me on Tuesday for my final dress fitting but as I said–not sure I even want to look at her knowing what she’s done.
What in heavens name do I do?
Post # 3
awww im so sorry pumpkin!!!! that is such a hard situation…i would def sit down and talk to your mom about how your feeling. you don twant this to affect your wedding day.
Post # 4
That’s a really tough situation! It will make things a bit awkward to be sure. I would speak to her about it and tell her how you feel, but I think you might regret it down the road if you don’t include her in the things you were planning.
Post # 5
Wow I’m so sorry. This totally throws me for a loop. I have no words except for that I couldn’t imagine being in your shoes. Good luck.
Post # 6
That is a really difficult situation, and I feel awful for you that this is happening right before your wedding, but you have to remember that your mom is human, and more importantly, she’s was a person before she was your mom.
Before you go cutting her out of your life, talk to her. See what she has to say. There may be things going on in her life, in her head, in your parents relationship that you have no idea about and may have influenced her choices.
And even if her motives were nothing but pure selfishness, at the end of the day, she’s still your mom, and she still loves you. Her affair doesn’t change that one bit.
Post # 7
Definitely the timing sucks. But , what would you expect of your Mom if she found out you were doing something she disapproved of? Wouldn’t you expect her love to be unconditional?
I would encourage you to think long and hard before you even decide to raise the issue with your Mom- unless she already is aware that you have some knowledge of what is going on.
What is to be gained by rasing the issue now, vs letting sleeping dogs lie until after the wedding?
Post # 7
i think at a certain point you have to stop looking at your parents as mom and dad and more as adults – and i think you need to be honest with her and tell her you know and tell her you are upset and confused and angry (unless you can suck it up and move on as its her decision/life)
you dont know what goes on in someone elses marriage or how people are feeling. not saying she has done a good thing but she has her reasons and she is more answerable to her husband than her daughter
im sorry you are going through this – its never good timing but im guessing she is unhappy somewhere in her life to be doing this
Post # 8
That really sucks.
I agree with eloping on everything she said. I think you need to seperate what your mom did and stop seeing it as something she did to hurt you because you’re not really involved in this affair.
Post # 9
@alex32937: O wow… Im so sorry to hear that for you.
I will say this, never having been in your position, I would say talk to her Woman to Woman and see what she has to say. I would not cut her out of your wedding activities or your life for that matter. I know that people make mistakes in life but she is your Mom and she loves you.
Hope this helps in some way….Good Luck and Hugs
Post # 10
Chances are your mom feels guilty and horrible enough already. And if the situation were reversed, I’m sure your mom would stand by you 100%. Compassion and understanding go a long, long way here.
Post # 11
Thank you, everyone for you honest feedback. Things have been a little difficult to work around, but I think the comments of just letting it go (especially for the wedding) are the ones I will have to pay most attention to. It’s not as though anything will be worked out in a month and I don’t want my own feelings to ruin this incredibly special day with my FH. Thank you all again for your support!