- 9 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
…even those of us who try to keep it all together and not freak out in a bridezilla fashion. I suppose I’m not venting really or asking for advice – just simply needed to write down how overwhelmed and down in the dumps I feel at the moment.
I am a Type A personality. I’m detail-oriented, which to me means that I try to be organized as I’m planning the wedding. I also am a natural optimist and non-confrontational person. I’m a people-pleaser, which is both a good and bad thing. The wedding is larger than I maybe would be comfortable with, because’s FI’s family is big. I’m cool with that, and I’m even cool with doing almost all of the wedding planning.
But, I recently began to feel really overwhelmed because of the things I did need input from with the Fiance. He recently graduated from grad school and has literally been busy every moment. Any time we get together is rushed or filled with errands, family obligations, and yes, the wedding planning stuff that HAS to get done because I didn’t press him earlier. I’ve shared all of this with my Fiance, and we are always trying to get better with communication. He’s more of a procrastinator and opinionated, while I’m a gal that feels much better always doing something to work toward the end result. And with how busy we’ve been, it’s been hard for me to put down my foot and say the wedding planning stuff has to get done – especially when he had ‘more important’ things to deal with. I recently did, and he said he wanted a list of tasks he could do to help me out. There were about 10 things in the ‘ASAP’ part, and he did 2 of them in a little over a week. I’m thankful for the ones he did do, but wish he would have done the others. I brought up one of them to him, and he didn’t agree that he needed to do that particular task this early. We fought over it.
Maybe what makes us stressed out are all the changes that go on. I don’t particularly care what type of food we have at the reception or whether the church pew bows are white or ivory. But we’ve been running on empty for so long now, and we do try to have ‘evenings’ devoted to no wedding planning and quality time. But they’re few and far between, and now there’s even more been added to our plate with possibly him changing jobs and us relocating about an hour away and everything that goes along with that.
With packing, taking care of all the other daily needs, trying to find time to exercise and keep off the weight I lost, doing all the wedding planning, having something going on every weekend until the wedding, and things that should have happened weeks ago (like fixing some things on my car)…I just feel incredibly overwhelmed, and it’s making me want to wish away the days until we get married. And I hate that feeling. I don’t want to deal with any of it, especially when we’re on edge and end up fighting because we’re tired and stressed.
I know that this is ‘life’ and I know we’ll be very busy when we have kids. There will always be things that make our lives crazy. But it seems now every little thing puts me deeper into this funk and I don’t know how to get out of it. I tell him how I feel and that I need some extra TLC, and he says we’ll get some good time this weekend. But we really should do things like pick out our rings, fix my car, and we have other obligations on Sunday. We could put it off, but then again comes another week with more things to do and another busy weekend.
I feel on the verge of tears all the time, and as much as I try to hold everything together I really need an evening where he surprises me, pampers me, reassures me, and basically just a night to love me. I pride myself on not being a needy person, and Fiance is not someone who thinks of the ‘sweet things’ all the time. He doesn’t intentionally do it, it’s just not the way he thinks. I’ve told him many times before the things that make me feel really loved, and it’s been a long time since I’ve had that. And really, who wants to be the person who has to remind her Fiance about the things she loves for him to do/say? To be honest I haven’t been able to do the same for him lately either.
While we know without a doubt how much we love each other and how much we’ve been blessed, it’s just too much trying to deal with everything all the time. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next few months.
Does anyone else feel this way? I know I’m not the only one and I’m very thankful I haven’t had to deal with a lot of the drama some fellow Bees have had to go through.