Post # 1
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
Hello Bees! I know there are a lot of Bees who are considering hosting weddings where guest lists are for ages X and up, or who have children and are ivited to another person’s wedding, so I thought it might be helpful to kind of crowdsource at what age kids seem to really grasp being a good guest. Of course development is different for every kid, and environment/atmosphere can play a role in behavior, but what do you think generally?
In my experience, once kids hit Kindergarten and they’ve had some practice with good listening skills and “reading the room”, they’re pretty good to go. Pre-schoolers sometimes seem to be right on the cusp where impulse control can go a little haywire under the right circumstances. What do you think?
Post # 2
Member
2838 posts
Sugar bee
I’m not sure it’s as much about age as it is about how they are parented.
Post # 4
Member
2257 posts
Buzzing bee
Every kid is different, and matures at a different time, or seemingly never at all/not until they’re a young adult.
I think that once they’re PAST kindergarten, they’re more mature. So 1st graders and up. But again, if I know that there’s a particularly rowdy 7 year old, then I’m going to restrict invitations to kids 8 and up.
Post # 5
Member
3185 posts
Sugar bee
Mrs.BigBear: I don’t think that children make bad guests. I am having a day of nanny to watch the wee ones. there iwll be babies and toddlers who are invited. But I Will ahve a room for them if they want to use it for play . It will come with a cot or two for naps.
Post # 6
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
Every child is different, I myself am inviting all children (they are all 4-5+) except 2 6m/o babies. I always went to weddings with my parents from the age of 2 and loved every one. One of them (I was a 7 y/o only bridesmaid) I litterally danced all night until 1 in the morning, most of the time I was the only person on the dance floor lol but I think as long as they are old enough to be told off and listen (if they were to missbehave) they are old enough for a wedding. But every child is different. I was included in weddings from 2 as I was always a well behaved child, my brother however was about 6-7 before he was invited to his first wedding as he would start to moan after about 7pm!
Post # 8
Member
4521 posts
Honey bee
I set my ceremony age at 5 and up, because most 5 year olds have been to preschool or kindergarten and can stay quiet for a short period of time without problems.
That said, I was at a friend’s wedding this past weekend and there was a tiny girl as the ring bearer (maybe 2?), and our friends had a 2.5 year old with them – they sat at our table and she was SO good. It probably depends on the kid (and how responsible the parents are.)
Post # 9
Member
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Again, every kid is different. Our friends 13 year old will be a better guest than his father that gets drunk and shows off his penis tattoo. Generally speaking I think 10 and up
Post # 10
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
My son is almost 5 and he’s pretty terrible in social situations most of the time. He also has sensory processing issues, so that’s a factor. I’m rpetty nervous about how he’s going to do at my own wedding, but hopefully with coaching it will be fine. If kids are prepared and told how they are expected to act I would say 3/4 and up. It really does depend on parenting and the particular child.
Post # 11
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
I think many factors affect this answer including: the child, parenting skills and the tolerance of the other guests. If you have a parent who is willing to remove the child when they are causing a disturbance then it can be any age – but again, what could be deemed as a disturbance to one person may not be one to another. Getting in people’s way and screaming is definitely a disturbance.
Post # 12
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
My youngest guest was 4 and she was good as gold, in fact during the reception she was going up to the grown ups and pulling them onto the dancefloor, even people she’d never seen before. No one minded, she was just too adorable to say no to. I was a flower girl at my auntie’s wedding when I was two and haven’t heard any stories about me misbehaving! I think behaviour depends on the child and I certainly wouldn’t exclude kids just because they’re really little. In fact I think kids make weddings more fun!
Post # 14
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
BizzzzyBee: That’s a great point about kids getting bored or tired/cranky. I was a well-behaved kid, and I was good at keeping myself entertained with books, but I’ve never been good at staying up late. I don’t think I ever made it to midnight on New Year’s Eve until well into my teens haha
Post # 15
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
I think it depends on a couple factors.
#1 – Parenting! I know a few parents who let thier children express themselves a lot even during the most formal settings. But I also know parents who’s very young children are more polite than I am, lol. To the point where they even address people as Mr or Miss “first name”. I laughed so hard the first time I had dinner over at these parents house with the kids. We had just gone hiking so i had an old baseball cap on and I forgot to take it off. My friends 5 year old son politely said “Miss Vermont2015, we don’t where hats at the dinner table”. It was too cute! I then took my hat off! lol (sad thing is the polite kids i’m refering to will be staying at home with thier aunt n uncle during our wedding and the not so well behaved kids might be coming to our wedding, lol!)
#2 Time/Area – If the event is super late at night (2ish hours past thier bed time) I would say they would get tired and cranky no matter how nice they usually are. Also if there are things like pools nearby that they can fall into or lots of breakable items around that a little one might bump into. But if the event is early with lots of things to entertain them, then yay kids!
Post # 16
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee
I vote older, according to what the legal drinking age is, whether it’s 18 19, or 21.
My daughter’s venue charged the full adult rate, with no discount for 5 hours of open bar, for guests 13 and up. Had any guest attended, who was under 21, it would have required an addition to our event insurance policy, and they’d have to ask for photo ID, for every guest. We also could not have had butlered wine trays, during the cocktail hour, which greatly cut-down on the bar lines.
My Mom’s next door neighbor told me that when someone noticed the teenagers, who attended her wedding went missing, they were found in the bridal suite, cleaning-up the champagne, wine and beer.
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