(Closed) At what age do you think children are "old enough" to be good wedding guests?

posted 4 years ago in Family
  • poll: At what age do you think children are "old enough" to be good wedding guests?
    Age 2 : (3 votes)
    4 %
    Age 3 - 4 : (5 votes)
    7 %
    Age 5 - 6 : (8 votes)
    11 %
    Age 7 - 8 : (6 votes)
    8 %
    Age 9 - 10 : (9 votes)
    13 %
    Age 11 - 13 : (20 votes)
    28 %
    Age 16 : (9 votes)
    13 %
    Age 18 : (12 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    2838 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I’m not sure it’s as much about age as it is about how they are parented.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2257 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Every kid is different, and matures at a different time, or seemingly never at all/not until they’re a young adult.

    I think that once they’re PAST kindergarten, they’re more mature. So 1st graders and up. But again, if I know that there’s a particularly rowdy 7 year old, then I’m going to restrict invitations to kids 8 and up.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3185 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    Mrs.BigBear:  I don’t think that children make bad guests. I am having a day of nanny to watch the wee ones. there iwll be babies and toddlers who are invited. But I Will ahve a room for them if they want to use it for play . It will come with a cot or two for naps.

    Post # 6
    Member
    268 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    Every child is different, I myself am inviting all children (they are all 4-5+) except 2 6m/o babies. I always went to weddings with my parents from the age of 2 and loved every one. One of them (I was a 7 y/o only bridesmaid) I litterally danced all night until 1 in the morning, most of the time I was the only person on the dance floor lol but I think as long as they are old enough to be told off and listen (if they were to missbehave) they are old enough for a wedding. But every child is different. I was included in weddings from 2 as I was always a well behaved child, my brother however was about 6-7 before he was invited to his first wedding as he would start to moan after about 7pm!

    Post # 8
    Member
    4521 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I set my ceremony age at 5 and up, because most 5 year olds have been to preschool or kindergarten and can stay quiet for a short period of time without problems.

    That said, I was at a friend’s wedding this past weekend and there was a tiny girl as the ring bearer (maybe 2?), and our friends had a 2.5 year old with them – they sat at our table and she was SO good. It probably depends on the kid (and how responsible the parents are.)

    Post # 9
    Member
    9527 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Again, every kid is different. Our friends 13 year old will be a better guest than his father that gets drunk and shows off his penis tattoo. Generally speaking I think 10 and up 

    Post # 10
    Member
    654 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    My son is almost 5 and he’s pretty terrible in social situations most of the time.  He also has sensory processing issues, so that’s a factor.  I’m rpetty nervous about how he’s going to do at my own wedding, but hopefully with coaching it will be fine.  If kids are prepared and told how they are expected to act I would say 3/4 and up.  It really does depend on parenting and the particular child.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2529 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think many factors affect this answer including: the child, parenting skills and the tolerance of the other guests. If you have a parent who is willing to remove the child when they are causing a disturbance then it can be any age – but again, what could be deemed as a disturbance to one person may not be one to another. Getting in people’s way and screaming is definitely a disturbance. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    168 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    My youngest guest was 4 and she was good as gold, in fact during the reception she was going up to the grown ups and pulling them onto the dancefloor, even people she’d never seen before. No one minded, she was just too adorable to say no to. I was a flower girl at my auntie’s wedding when I was two and haven’t heard any stories about me misbehaving! I think behaviour depends on the child and I certainly wouldn’t exclude kids just because they’re really little. In fact I think kids make weddings more fun!

    Post # 15
    Member
    462 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I think it depends on a couple factors.

    #1 – Parenting! I know a few parents who let thier children express themselves a lot even during the most formal settings. But I also know parents who’s very young children are more polite than I am, lol. To the point where they even address people as Mr or Miss “first name”. I laughed so hard the first time I had dinner over at these parents house with the kids. We had just gone hiking so i had an old baseball cap on and I forgot to take it off. My friends 5 year old son politely said “Miss Vermont2015, we don’t where hats at the dinner table”. It was too cute! I then took my hat off! lol (sad thing is the polite kids i’m refering to will be staying at home with thier aunt n uncle during our wedding and the not so well behaved kids might be coming to our wedding, lol!)

    #2 Time/Area – If the event is super late at night (2ish hours past thier bed time) I would say they would get tired and cranky no matter how nice they usually are. Also if there are things like pools nearby that they can fall into or lots of breakable items around that a little one might bump into. But if the event is early with lots of things to entertain them, then yay kids!

    Post # 16
    Member
    4037 posts
    Honey bee

    I vote older, according to what the legal drinking age is, whether it’s 18 19, or 21.

    My daughter’s venue charged the full adult rate, with no discount for 5 hours of open bar, for guests 13 and up. Had any guest attended, who was under 21, it would have required an addition to our event insurance policy, and they’d have to ask for photo ID, for every guest. We also could not have had butlered wine trays, during the cocktail hour, which greatly cut-down on the bar lines. 

    My Mom’s next door neighbor told me that when someone noticed the teenagers, who attended her wedding went missing, they were found in the bridal suite, cleaning-up the champagne, wine and beer.

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