At what age gap do siblings become more like aunt/uncle as opposed to siblings?

posted 2 years ago in Parenting
  • poll:
    3 years : (0 votes)
    4 years : (1 votes)
    3 %
    5 years : (2 votes)
    6 %
    6 years : (1 votes)
    3 %
    7 years : (28 votes)
    88 %
  • Post # 2
    548 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    My oldest sister is 6 years older than me and she definitely  feels like a sister. Maybe it just depends on how close you are with your family?

    Post # 3
    216 posts
    Helper bee

    I voted seven but I think it could be even higher. My sibs are 9 and 12 years older than me and I still feel like they’re my brother and sister. Sure I didn’t hang out with them as much as if they were my age, but I never had the feeling they were anything else. Then again, that could also be because I don’t know what it’s like to have siblings my age, so the gap feels like normal siblinghood to me.

    Post # 4
    1512 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    I have a brother who is 9 years younger and he feels like a brother! Much much much different than the relationship I have with my actual nephew.

    Post # 5
    616 posts
    Busy bee

    I dont know, I just have to say this may be the most random question I have read here. lol

    Post # 6
    487 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2008

    I have two sisters. One of them is 12 years younger than me, the others are only 5 years younger. I do feel my relationships with them is different. With the 12 years younger I find myself having a more motherly attitude towards to, I often struggle against my need to correct her or reprimend her and she has expressed to me that sometimes I tend to behave more like a parent than a sister. It is extra hard now that she has hit her teenage years and I am around my 30s. With my 5 years apart sister the relationship is more balanced. I get the need to be overprotective, but I also see them as equals and have no problem doing more sisterly things with them -sharing secrets, going on trips, etc. It might also be because we are closer in age making our difference in way of thinking much smaller.

    May I ask why the random question?

    Post # 7
    3868 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    I dunno, 10+ ? My sister is 6 years older than our brother and I don’t think she’s like an aunt! I mean obviously you might have a different relationship with a 6 year gap than a 1 year gap but you’re still siblings… if you felt your sister was a bit aunt-like I think that was just your particular relationship, not a general thing. 

    I have a friend who is 23 years older than their only sibling! Their mum was a teenager with the first one and 40 with the second.

    Post # 8
    8957 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    lalanono :  Your question makes the assumption that there is an age gap at which this non-siblingy feeling is a given. My husband is 9 years older than his sibling and they are definitely sibs. I have another loved one who is 13 years older than their sib. They play together and sometimes bicker a bit, just like any other siblings. I also have some loved ones who are ~20 years older and I guess they might seem more like an aunt & uncle, but 20 years is a bit extreme. They never even really lived together. I think this depends more on family dynamics and individual personalities than age gap. 

    Post # 9
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee

    My siblings are both 10+ years older than me and in my case they feel very much like siblings.  In fact as I get older I am starting to feel like I’m the aunt.  But my siblings are a couple of pieces of work.  So maybe the personalities and family dynamics would have as much to do with sibling vs aunt/uncle as the gap does.  

    Post # 10
    2655 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    I am the eldest of 5 – all but one of my siblings is considerably younger than me (one of my sisters is only 2 years younger and we definitely feel like sisters). I have another sister who is 13 years younger than me, a half brother who is 18 years younger than me and another half brother who is 21 years younger than me. The relationship I have with them is definitely more parent/child than sibling – I used to change their nappies, feed them, strap them into their car seats, even get up to them during the night on a few occasions. I was someone they could ask for permission to do things (ie have a snack or go outside to play) and who they would listen to if I told them off for doing something naughty. These are definitely more parental things than sibling things, but it was just something that came with my age at the time. Even though I haven’t lived at home with them in years, they still know they can come to me about anything and I’ll always drop everything for them.

    Post # 11
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    I have six older siblings that are all 7+ years older than I am. I am still pretty close with my 7 year older sister and my 8 year older brother but not so much the others. I think it has more to do with the family dynamic than anything though. I didn’t grow up in the same household as my oldest four siblings so the combination of the gap and not living together makes our relationship not as strong as my relationship with my three siblings who are closest to me in age. I am definitely closest with my younger brother though and we only have a 4 year gap. 

    Post # 12
    3005 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    My mum is 20 years younger than her oldest sister and 18 year younger than her oldest brother (thank you WW2).

    my aunt had her first baby when my Mum was 1 so she grew up with her nieces and nephews as more like brothers and sisters. She’s still close to her sister but I think it is a more mother / child relationship.

    her brother she doesn’t speak to. He was doing his national service when she was born and he married right out of the army so they never lived in the same house. They have no relationship at all.


    Post # 13
    2712 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

    My sister is seven years younger than I am and we definitely have a sibling relationship.  My youngest aunt is only nine years older than I am (15 years younger than my mum) and she often seems more like a big sister than an aunt too.  I think it totally depends on the family relationships.

    Post # 14
    358 posts
    Helper bee

    I think it really depends on the family dynamic and not so much the age gap.

    My younger sister and I are nearly 4 years apart and up until I was 14 we were very much siblings.

    When my mother left us our dynamic changed. It became more like mother/child. 

    Post # 15
    2101 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    My brothers are 7 and 10 years younger than me. They still feel like my brothers, although we aren’t the closest. In fact they are my half brothers which accounts for the fact that we aren’t that close. However, I’m closer to my much younger brothers than my husband is to his brother who is 15 months younger.

    I also had an aunt that was 11 years older than me and she was very similar to a sister.

    I think it’s more family dynamics that are the main influencing feature but personalities of the individuals involved also affects how close siblings are. My husband’s family had no weird family dynamic to make my husband and his brother not be close but it’s more that their personalities really clash.

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