(Closed) At what age should you start saying 'thank you' for gifts?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

@oracle:  I don’t have kids, neices, or nephews, but I would say…um, as soon as they can talk!! Haha, but seriously…my mom required us to ALWAYS say thank you–obviously if the gifts were given in person, but at least a phone call if the gift-giver was not there.  For birthday parties, graduation parties, and more recently–bridal showers, etc–I wrote hand-written thank you notes.  We were taught to be thankful from a VERY early age.  I’m with you–I’d be a bit annoyed if perfectly capable children did not so much as call me to say thanks!!

Post # 4
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

My mom had us writing thank you notes as soon as we could hold a crayon. Okay, so she’d write them, but we scribbled our mark on them. 🙂 I think 5 is plenty old enough to be writing thank yous, or at the bare minimum making a thank you phone call.

Post # 5
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

One time when I was probably 7 years old my grandparents told my parents I was ungrateful because I never said thank you…it really stuck with me, I thank everyone for everything now!

My parents used to make us sit down and write thank you notes from the time we could write them, and I’m glad they did. We hated it at the time but I definitely learned to appreciate how important it can be. I think at the very least, if you send a gift to a child and aren’t there when they open it, they should call and say thank you.

Post # 6
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I help my step-children write thank you cards. I have known my step-daughter since she was two and we have been doing them since then. I hope that, when they are old enough to do them themselves, they’ll take over!!!

Edit: Furthermore, I totally AM the miserly aunt! I only give gifts to the select few of my 20 neices and nephews that say “thank you!”

Post # 7
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I never, ever sent a thank you card (except for my h.s. graduation gifts) before I started dating my husband. He had been brought up doing it. I was always encouraged to call.

Post # 8
14658 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MrsDrRose612:  @Aure:   Agreed.  As soon as you can hold that crayon or talk. 

Post # 9
5371 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

I think ‘thank you’ should start when you can talk haha. I’ve always had to either call (before I could write) or send a thank you card for gifts that were opened when the person giving it wasn’t there to be thanked in person.

Post # 10
7527 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I buy my daughter blank note cards and make her draw a picture on the front and at the very least write “thank you” and her name inside.  They have gotten more elaborate as she has gotten older.  I began this when she was about 2.

Post # 11
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Do the parents write thank you cards? If not, that could be the problem. My parents just didn’t force me to do it, and I didn’t know any better when I was 8 or so. It’s something that I realized was important far later than I should have. Honestly, I would encourage you to give the kids nice stationary and hope they get the hint. I’m not sure you could come right out and tell them that they need to start writing the cards, but being an example certainly helps.

Post # 12
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

My two year old says Thank you. So as soon as they are able to repete what you say. As far as Thank you Notes I would say around 13ish.  My family never sent Thank you notes for anything though so I never even knew about them until I got one in my 20s.

Post # 13
4367 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

As soon as they can hold a pen. Or failing that, finger paints. We used to draw in thank you cards our parents wrote for us from a very young age (I can’t remember when I didn’t). It then went onto writing our names and thank you. When does one start constructing sentences? 8? Thats when one should start writing ones own thank you cards, even if parents have to make them.

Post # 14
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

As soon as a kid can talk (and say the word thank you, lol), that’s the right time! I’d never let my stepson get away without saying thank you to someone who’s been kind enough to give him a gift! If they’ve sent it, then we call and say thanks, or if it’s face to face, there needs to be a pause from the gift, a thank you and a hug. 

From one aunt to another though, I feel your pain  😉

Post # 15
4367 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Oh my, just read responses and reread your post.

Not saying thank you at all is just rude. We always had please and thank you instilled very young, so as soon as I could talk, I said it. No excuses. And I’d be reminded/told off if I didn’t say it.

Post # 16
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m on board with “when they can talk.”  I get so frustrated with my brother and sister in law.  I send them gifts and… nothing.  I finally text her to say “hey, check your mailbox!” and I get back “oh yeah I got a package!”  Not anywhere a thanks or even an acknowledgement until I basically asked for it.  I just sent her birthday gift and though the tracking said it should be there earlier this week I have no idea if she got it, if she likes it… nothing.  Sometimes when I talk to her and she says things like “yeah I got it” I feel like starting with the “and?” “and I love it!” “AND….” 

Ok, I had to check tracking.  She got it last Friday.  I feel you.

The topic ‘At what age should you start saying 'thank you' for gifts?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors