(Closed) At what age would you stop TTC?

posted 8 years ago in TTC
Post # 47
Member
1082 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@the_newlymintedmrs-s17:  But if you delay having kids in your 20s and even early 30s and sock away lots of money for retirement when you are young,  it is very likely that financially you will be way better off than if you had kids young and didn’t save much for retirement on account of it.  When you are older, your savings don’t get a chance to make a lot of money for you. 

Post # 48
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m 27 trying for #2 and DH and I would both like to have 3 total. Ideally we would be done ttc by the time I am 32 and he is 35. Not sure if that will happen though as it’s take much longer than we thought to conceive #2.

Post # 49
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

It is hard to say because I am not at the stage where I have not be able to achieve pregnancy and I am in my later 30s. I think it would take some deep soul-searching at that point. I tend towards making late 30s the cut off with maybe 40 at the very outer limit. Although I aM worried about health problems for a child conceived at that age, I am probably more concerned about how I will feel about myself at 55 with a 15 YO. I have an image in my head of being a poised and in control executive type at that age and I just worry that having a teenager at that age will not be compatible with my vision for my life. 

Post # 50
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My husband and I have a 4 month old son. I’d like 3, but he wants 2, so 2 it is. I would like to have our second in 4-5 years when I’m 30. I wouldn’t know when I would stop trying for a second unless I was put in that situation. But I am also having a baby for my brother and his partner as they are gay and, for obvious reasons, cannot have a baby. So I would be more than happy with 2 children of our own, after 3 pregnancies!

Post # 51
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I just read quite a few posts that stated 40 was the latest they would want to have a child. There were various reasons – don’t want to be raising kids at retirement age, don’t want to bee to tired to keep up with them etc.  I am so not judging and I think these are valid statements. I just want to point out an alternative view. I have a friend whowe daughter was 20 when my friend turned 50. And at 50 she had an ooooppa baby. She has said that a baby at 50 was easier than a baby at 30 because she was older and more knowledgable, more patient, more relaxed, and more financially secure. I’m not suggesting anyone try to conceive at 50-unless they want to!  I’m just saying there is another viewpoint of conceiving at a later she that I did not see expressed here.    I can’t have kids so my ship sailed a long long time ago.  

Post # 52
Member
7111 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

There is no age when any medical group “recommends” stopping having children. 

So, I’m kind of passionate about this, so forgive me with starting with a little Biology 101: Genes are the instructions for how our bodies grow, develop and function. Genes are organized onto chromosomes. Humans have 46 chromosomes and they come in pairs. You get one of each pair from your mom and the other from your dad. So when a person goes to make an egg or sperm your body has to cut the nuber of chrosomes in half so that when the egg and sperm join up in an embro, you have the correct nuber of chromosomes.

Men are constantly producing new sperm. Women are born with all the eggs they will ever have. So a woman’s age is the same age as her eggs. As eggs age they have a greater likelihood to have the wrong number of chromosomes. This is called aneuploidy. When a pregnancy has aneuploidy there is usually a miscarriage. This is often before a pregnancy is recognized, but can be later. There are certain aneuploidies that can survive to term. The most common aneuploidy is Down syndrome (an extra copy of the twenty first chromosome) but Trisomy 13 and Trisomy 18 can also survive to term and are much more medically serious than Down syndrome. 

So the increase incidence of “birth defects” in women who are older is actually an increased risk for aneuploidy. It’s not like the rate of all birth defects goes up with age. And this risk increases gradually throughout a woman’s life. There is no threshold when you hit a certain age. The difference between 34 and 35 is about the same as the difference between 33 and 34. Nothing magic happens at 35 or 40 or any age. And at 35 the risk for a liveborn child with an aneupoidy is only about 0.5%, meaning that there is a 99.5% chance that the mom’s age would not contribute to any health concern in the child. 

The increase rate of aneuploidy is also the biggest reason for decreased fertility as a woman gets older given the aforementioned miscarriages that can result from most aneuploidies. This risk is also gradual over a lifetime with no threshold. There ave been studies done at IVF clinics, and if you screen embryos for aneuploidy and implant embryos without aneuploidy, the pregnancy rates are the same for women in  their 20s and women in their 40s. That being said, there are some health concerns (high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.) which are more likely to be seen in older womeb that can complicate conception and pregnancy, but if you don’t have those complications, that doesn’t apply to you.

Since aneuploidy is an incorrect number of chromosomes there are standard tests to look for this. Some are screening tests (maternal serum screening, nuchal translucency, non-invasive prenatal screening – Maternity21) that will increase or decrease your risk. Other tests are diagnostic (like CVS or amniocentesis) and can tell with relative certainty if a pregnancy is affected by an aneuploidy. If a couple is concerned  about aneuploidy, at whatever age, they should dicuss these options with their OB.

There are many many reasons why people might not want to have children after a certain age. And that is perfectly fine.  I, personally, would like to be able to retire early and that would be difficult while raising a child, so I have my reasons as well. But understand the medical facts before assuming that you can’t have a healthy child after 30 or 35 or 40 or 45. I once had a patient who was having her first child at age 48 and the baby was perfectly healthy. Not saying that’s for everyone, but it happens (and, yes, it was a natural coneption – they assumed she was too old to get pregnant and so didn’t use contraceptives). If you would like to learn about these risks, make an appointment with your OB or a local genetic counselor. They can discuss things in detail.

Post # 53
Member
5872 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Boy #1 12/2015, boy #2 02/2018

Ideally, I would like to stop having babies when I am around 35-36. I am about to turn 29 and barely starting for baby #1, so I would likely be 30 when he/she is born. Maybe in a couple of years if all goes well, we would like to try for baby #2. If we decide to go for a third one, I might be around 34-36, which is perfect to me. If things don’t go as planned, we might go as far as getting infertility treatment and IUI. I am not so sure what DH views are about IVF. So at that point, we might think about adopting. 

Post # 54
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

If I didn’t meet the right person until later in life, I’d probably say 45. However, since I’ll start trying at 32 or 33, if I haven’t succeeded after about 5 years, I’ll probably adopt. That would make 38 the end for me, but it’s impossible to predict the future.

Post # 55
Member
3154 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Aquaria:  35 would be my cut off. I had DS at 31 and DD will be born when I’m 34.

Post # 56
Member
2925 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I guess 40 no matter what. My parents were older when they had me (mom 37 and dad in his 50s), and I always hated having older parents. Worries always plagued me because I was convinced they wouldn’t be around very long. I would never wish that on my kids.

In reality, I think 35 would be the oldest though. DH is 8 years older, so I take his age into account too.

Post # 57
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

35. Not for birth issues, but talking hypotheticals, ill be 55 when theyre 20, and maybe 65 by the time they start having kids. I want to be able to see my grandkids and family grow up. Having said that, were not TTC so only when that happens and how it happens will i know

Post # 58
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We’re both 30, going on 31 this year and we’d like to stop at 35, hopefully sooner, depends how long it takes to conceive. We’re currently trying for #1 and we have decided that we’ll only take a couple of months off TTC and then try for #2 and we’ll be done conceiving. I really hope it doesn’t take us too long!

We want to have 3 children, but we are planning on adopting our third child from the foster care system. Older kids don’t get as easily adopted as babies or toddlers, so we feel a calling to adopt a child. Once our kids are old enough to understand the adoption process (~6 years old), we’ll adopt a kid around the same age.

Post # 59
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@JenGirl:  You are awesome, thanks for that. Very informative!

Post # 60
Member
7111 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MaggieF:  Thanks. I agree it’s sad the amount of hype and stigma there is about women having babies after certain ages. People can make whatever decisions are best for them, I just wish people knew/bothered to learn the real facts before making assumptions.

Post # 61
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think I would start at 42?  Just because I have a friend who tried TTC at 40, got her first boy at 41. I’m glad it works out for her but she had soooo many complication during the pregnancy………..which got me thinking… 

I’m planning to try (if we finally decide to have kids) at 35..  I’m 32 now and would want some alone time with my Fiance before I’m lock down as a mom… 

The topic ‘At what age would you stop TTC?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors