(Closed) At what point did you consider yourself part of a new “family”?

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: When did you consider yourself and your spouse/partner to be a new "family"?

    Before we were married

    When we got married

    When we had our first child


  • Post # 18
    10846 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    View original reply
    @tinylittlebird: What’s harder though is that other people don’t consider us to be “family” because my stepson isn’t with us full time. My parents have been amazing and treat my stepson like another one of their grandchildren, but my sister and Brother-In-Law I don’t think qualify it the same.

    To me, family is where your heart is. Whether that includes children, pets, a house, or just yourself, whatever, it’s what makes you happy.

    Post # 20
    5789 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I was simply answering the question based on the information provided. There’s a million different definitions of ‘family’ and they’re categorized in many ways. Couple families ,blended families, nuclear families, intact family, step family, one parent families…there’s many ways to define a family.

    We, as a couple, have never been just ‘us’. He has a son and I have a daughter, so when we got married, then I considered us a family. There were already kids involved, but if there weren’t, I still don’t think I’d have considered us a family until we had them. That’s just me,tho.

    I would hate for somebody to be hurt or insulted by how many others would define the term. It only matters how YOU define it.

    Post # 21
    266 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    By time we’re married we’ll have lived together for about four years. while our accounts just became joint (i should be ashamed to admit how giddy i got to see ms will and mr kell on the checks) all of our decisions quickly had to be made together for our collective well-being. I think I’ve considered us a family since then, since we started working together to better each other and our home

    Post # 22
    3519 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I definitely think of us as a family already–we’ve been through so much already: finding our house, moving in together, the death of my Gram and countless other things… especially since we got Charlie, our dog, how could we NOT be considered a little family?

    Post # 24
    1369 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I considered DH and myself as a family when we got engaged. I think our parents thought of us as a family, but our friends and people we met for the first time probably wouldn’t have considered us family.

    I say I felt like that because we were making decisions about our future as a couple…including a cross country move that would take us both away from our family and friends. We also got a dog together a few weeks after the engagement. So, while we were long distance, we were still functioning as a family as far as decision making goes.

    Post # 25
    5373 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We aren’t even engaged yet and we consider ourselves a ‘family’. We’ve lived together for a year and a half now and have a cat together (: I don’t think that other people will consider us a family until we’re married/have a baby though.

    Post # 26
    1109 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I feel like a family but he says he won’t until we have the baby. I definitely think having a pet together makes it more family-like, and we have 8. I understand that we are a married couple to the outside world, but that makes him my next of kin. So we’re family.

    Post # 27
    6571 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    We just had a talk about this. I said we were a family when we got married. He said we weren’t a family until we had our baby.

    Eventually he did agree with me, but he said he just feels more like a family with the baby here now.

    Post # 28
    9816 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    When we had our daughter we felt like a new family. When we got married we were a couple. Our child added the family dynamic for us.

    Post # 29
    3182 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    View original reply
    @tinylittlebird: I answered before we were married, and I think it reflects how most people close to us see us too.  It’s understood that we will be at each other’s family functions, etc.  Even my mom who loves nothing more in life than having her family in for Xmas understands that Fiance and I like to have our time with just us to do Xmas too. We have also lived together 2.5 years so that makes a big difference too.  I wouldn’t have said that before we lived together. 

    Post # 30
    730 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Yes! I was just reading a blog post the other day where a pregnant wife was saying she was so excited to finally “become a family” when they have their first child, and I just kept thinking – weren’t you a family already?!?!

    I definitely consider DH and I to be a family, and we often talk about doing what’s best for “our family.” I think I’ve felt that way since before we got married… probably the engagement was when I started thinking of us as a little two-person family!

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