(Closed) At what point did you consider yourself part of a new “family”?

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: When did you consider yourself and your spouse/partner to be a new "family"?

    Before we were married

    When we got married

    When we had our first child

    Other

  • Post # 32
    Member
    2583 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I consider Fiance to be my family, I guess I couldn’t explain why except that I just feel that we are. I suppose other people probably don’t think of us that way, but I definitely think a married couple would be a family. With or without kids and/or pets.

    Post # 33
    Member
    3295 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

    Fiance has always considered me his family, but it wasn’t until we got engaged that I felt that way too. I already feel like his family is my family 🙂

    Post # 34
    Member
    7368 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    View original reply
    @tinylittlebird: To those of you who answered “Before we got married”, do you think that everyone else percieved you as a family, or was that just how you felt personally?

    I’ve been with my FH for fifteen plus years. Everyone on his side considers me his wife the fact that we aren’t legally married doesn’t really matter to them. But some people on my side of the family its a little different. they respect that fact that we are committted but to them it would be more ‘official’ once the paper is signed. Our friends all consider us an old married couple. We have long considered ourselves a family. I’m not bothered by outside opinions. Others are entitled to classify us however they see fit, just don’t try to sell me on it.

    Post # 35
    Member
    915 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I don’t agree with that idea at all. Families do exist without children all around and many couples never have children or get married. I believe my Husband became my family when he moved in with me (which was nearly 1 year before we got married). I think living together makes it official since you are both a large part of each other’s daily lives and pay bills/rent together. Technically, you aren’t really legally considered to be family until you’re married though and that is most likely when others view you as a family too.

    Post # 36
    Member
    842 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think of Fiance and our dog as my family.  I have for a long time, not sure if it was before or after the engagement.  I feel very much that we are our own little family unit.  But the dog definitely influences the situation.  Our dog has special needs (has epilepsy) so there’s a lot of conversations and decisions together as if she’s our child.  When we have a baby we’ll be adding to our family, not creating one.  I know Fiance feels the same way.  There are times when all of us are relaxing on the bed together before bed and I’ll tell him how much I love our family and he agrees :).

    Post # 37
    Member
    1493 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I think of my husband and I as family from when we married. We had been coupled longer than that, but showing our committment to our friends and family on our wedding day made us a family. I took his name which further establishes us as a family unit. By taking his name, signing the marriage license, and wearing wedding bands, we established our own knitscake family. We don’t have children yet, but are in every way a family when it comes to decision making, etc. I really hate that it’s believed that a couple isn’t a family without children. What makes us any less a family without children presently than those that do? I also think some of this comes from how I feel perceived by my Mother-In-Law. She didn’t take my presence in my husband’s life seriously until we married. She believed that we wouldn’t last even after getting engaged, etc. Two years later, we’re married, trying for kids, and he’s still my biggest support in my life. Anyone who gets me cookies when I’m feeling down is family for me.

    Post # 38
    Member
    2550 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    When I will lay my life for you, barring death or jail, your my family.

    Post # 39
    Member
    1550 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    When Hubby and I were dating, I felt like I was becoming a part of his family, and he was becoming a part of mine. We are both extremely close with our respective families, so we spent a lot of time around each. Every movie night we would invite either his family or my family, and went over to either his parents our my parents house at LEAST 4 times a week.

    Now, I see him as my family, not a part of my parent’s. If we were to spend Christmas morning together, just the two of us, I would feel perfectly satisfied and content knowing that I spent it with my closest family. However, two years ago (when we were dating or engaged) it would have been completely bizzarre not spending it with our “families” (aka parents and siblings).

    Post # 40
    Member
    1941 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I consider my Fiance and I a family, and have since before the propsal. We knew we wanted to be together forever when we moved in together, and I think (at least for me) it was solidified a little more when we got our second dog (he had the first dog before he met me.)

    But I think the moment that really sealed the deal for me was a day at the mall with his brother, SIL, and their two kids. We were saying good-bye, and his SIL said to the kids, “Give Aunt —- a hug good-bye.” It was totally out of the blue, she looked a little surprised herself, but it just felt so right! 🙂

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