(Closed) At what point did you make it clear that you are ready to get engaged?

posted 5 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
179 posts
Blushing bee

Let’s see, it was over the summer, so we’d been together five and a half years, maybe. We were both 24, at the time. (Or maybe I was 23? I cannot remember if it was before or after my birthday.) I basically just sat him down and asked if he wanted to talk about getting married, just like tha. I don’t get the whole ‘dropping hints’ thing. So we talked about it, practicality and timing and if we both felt ready, and he proposed just a few weeks ago on our six year anniversary.

Post # 3
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016 - Long Island, NY

Well, we had discussed it multiple times like “in the future” kind of way… so when he began seriously talking about moving in together (we had been together 3.5 years), I made it clear that this was a very large step and should be followed with serious consideration about marriage. I was 25, he was just 29.

We lived together for about 6 weeks before we realized that it made our relationship even more amazing and he asked me to send him some information about what rings I liked. I sent it to him, but told him I’d like to go with him to a store to get my exact ring size, try on stone shapes, etc. We went to a jeweler about 2 months after that talk (school was starting and it was very busy for me as a teacher, him as a doctorate student), and got engaged 2 months after that. 

Post # 4
1974 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

We got engaged just before two years together. We are in our 30s. He proposed, but we talked about marriage and children and what we wanted for a good while beforehand.

Post # 5
3974 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
fairydust91 :  I don’t think there was a big conversation or anything. I think that we kept talking about the future and stopped using “if” and started using “when.” After a while, it just became apparant to both of us, that this was it. We were going to be together forever. One day, DH asked to show me something and it was a ring he was looking at and he asked my opinion of it. That kind of transitioned into us talking about what I liked and when we might like to get married and within three months, we were engaged. 

Post # 6
23 posts

My case is unusual because I actually have kept pushing back our engagement. I’m 29 & soon-to-be fiance is 32. Our 6 year anniversary is coming up in January. He wants kids & wanted to get married sooner, but I didn’t want to get engaged until grad school was finished because I know so many people that got married and then didn’t finish their degrees. We have been looking at rings since I finished school & I expect a formal proposal very soon ๐Ÿ™‚ Best of luck!

Post # 7
1766 posts
Buzzing bee

We had been together for four years and we were both in our early 30’s.  I actually proposed to him out of the blue one day.  I thought it was now or never so I just came right out and asked him if he would marry me because I couldn’t imagine going down this journey of life with anyone else other than him.  Hah – I pulled a Kate Hudson from Bride Wars! LOL.  He had the ring and we got engaged that day. I always knew it would happen…I just sort of sped things up a little by asking him!  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I think reasonably early on in the relationship after moving in together we did talk about when we d like to be married by and when we would like to consider having kids but until about a year ago that was about it. I felt quite ready around our second anniversary ( it was a few months before I was 21 and he was 24 at the time) so then we spoke about when we d like to be married by  and we agreed by the end of 2018 but he said he wouldn’t be ready to propose yet but wanted to before our 3rd anniversary which was understandable as we we re both still at university at the time. 

A couple of months after that we both dropped out of university and had to rethink our whole careers and it was a difficult time for both of us but we got through it as a team. Basically once he d started working he said he then felt ready to start looking at rings and a few weeks later he proposed ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 9
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

We had been together for about 4.5 years and been living together for a couple months when we first had a discussion about our timelines of when we’d wanna get engaged. We started dating at 17/19, so the first couple years of dating were in college and marriage wasn’t a priority (although very early on we both had said we want marriage and kids, so we knew we weren’t wasting our time). Then right before our 5-year dating anniversary I told him the style of ring I liked and he said that he might look at rings in the summer. Well, summer came and past and I got impatient but tried not to bring it up, and he finally proposed in November of last year ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

We were together for about a year and a half. He was 32 and I was 28. From the very beginning of our relationship, we were both clear about wanting to settle down. After a little while of hypothetical wedding talk, I told him that when the time came, we had a family ring that I’d like him to use if that was ok with him. He then picked it up the next time we visited my family in NY (where the ring was, we are down South), he got the ring and proposed a few months later. We got married last month and will celebtrate our three-year dating anniversary in February. 

Post # 11
2544 posts
Sugar bee

We were together 14 months, he’s 29 and I’m 30. I knew I wanted to marry him about a month into our relationship, but didn’t say anything until he brought it up 2 or 3 months in. At first it was just him saying stuff like “i’m gonna marry you one day,” but he started asking more seriously about it 4 or 5 months in. I told him we had to wait at LEAST a year to a year and a half to make it official. We moved in together at 5 months and he kept asking and asking and I kept telling him we had to wait. He asked *officially* a couple of weeks ago while we were in Mexico. It didn’t really feel as dramatic as I’d thought because I just always knew we would.

I think it depends on the relationship and I don’t think our situation was typical. I feel like it would normally come up somewhat naturally though, when talking about the future or when other people’s weddings come up.


Post # 12
2333 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

We had talked about it casually like one day this one day that, we talked timelines realistically being for our careers in academia.

When I outright said I was ready we had been together about 6.5 years. I was 28, him 33.

I was talking about applying to grad school and tongue in cheek said that “since we have waited this long, we should wait to get married until after I finish grad school since my FAFSA would be way more as an unmarried single person going back to school”. He said “student loans aren’t a good enough reason to not get married” and I said “do you have a good reason to not get married?” And he said “no” and I said “okay then, what are you waiting for?” And gave him a sweet kiss and walked away (into the bar we were walking in to). About a year and a half later, he proposed. Total of 8 years together. 

What about you? Are you waiting 

View original reply
fairydust91 :  ? How long have you been together? Are you wanting to mention that you are ready?

Post # 13
5985 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
fairydust91 :  I was 21 and he was 29, and it was just something we knew without really needing to say anything.  But I think our intentions were clear about a month in.

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