(Closed) At what point do you speak up? (Negative Bm)

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

At this point, sounds like there is no making her happy. She isn’t the bride anyway. Tell her you and E like the idea and if she can’t offer any better alternatives that she can choose to come and celebrate with E or she can miss out. Nobody is forcing her to spend the money 

Post # 4
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@Jamcnair:  I agree.

I don’t think you should say anything. I think you just need to let it go. If you don’t want to continue the friendship after your weddings, let it fizzle then, but unless you’re looking for a big blowup, you aren’t going to change her attitude towards your weddings.

Post # 6
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honestly, I would just try to avoid talking to her until after the wedding.  I know you’re trying to plan things together, but if she’s being so negative she doesn’t HAVE to go to the bachelorette(s) or shower(s). 

Get everything that you possibly can set without her, and maybe try to deal with her more by email.  That way if she complains, you can at least skim over and not waste a phone call.

Post # 7
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Ms. Stallion:  honestly I would probably have the same reaction if invited to a Disney themed shower and encouraged to dress up lol BUT, I would only share my feelings with a close friend…kinda like what she’s doing with you.

Some people just have trouble being happy for other people and if you’re both getting married in 2012, she’s getting hit twice for showers, bach parties, dresses, etc. That does add up pretty quickly and she might not be fully honest about her financials. Just because she has the money, doesn’t mean she wants to spend it allll on other people’s wedding activities, you know what I mean?

If she complains about an idea, ask her if she has another suggestion. If she doesn’t then say, ok that’s it then.

I wonder if she also senses how close you and E are and she might feel left out? It’s not a good excuse to act the way she is but friendships change over time and she might be one of those that you ultimately distance from.

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