Post # 1
Hi there bees! DH and I are just starting TTC and I’m already thinking ahead about my job situation. A bit of background: I teach math at a university, but last year my Darling Husband got transfered in August to a city 1.5 hours away from my job. Well, it was too late to find myself a new job, as the fall term had just started. We thought about doing the long distance thing, but to save on rent and our sanity we decided that I should commute to work instead. I arranged my schedule with my department head so that I am only teaching on TR, and spend MWF at home doing class prep and grading. I spent all last year and this summer looking for other work, but unfortunately no local colleges were hiring this term, and once again I’m commuting 1.5 hours there and back on TR.
Here’s what’s worrying me. If I get pregnant during this school year (hoping to!) I am going to be doing this hellish commute while pregnant. I’m already very prone to motion sickness, and I’m worried about getting morning sickness and having my already very long drive delayed even more by needing to throw up or stop. I know it could take a while to get pregnant, but if it happens sooner than expected I could end up being in my third trimester next semester, and I would be concerned about going into early labor and being trapped 1.5 hours away from home. Not to mention that I have crammed all my teaching into two days on a very hilly campus where all my classes are on the other end of campus from my office and garage. I know fatigue is a big problem throughout pregnancy, and I’m already exhausted doing this as it is.
So here’s my question: Would you quit doing this at the end of the fall semester, even if you weren’t pregnant yet? At what point would it be crazy to keep doing this? Should I just keep at it even if I do get pregnant quickly? I want to be a Stay-At-Home Mom once we have a baby, and since this job situation is so crappy I intend to quit after the spring in any case. It would be nice to have that extra income in the spring, but I just don’t know if it’s worth it. I would also need to let my department head know by early December at the latest, so that he could arrange for my classes to be taught by someone else if need be.
Post # 2
I would keep working and if these situations arise and you need to make changes (these are medical reasons) it would be up to the University to remedy it. I know this isn’t an ideal way to operate with an employer, but you also have to consider that these things may not happen at all. There is a possibility it may take some time to get pregnant, or that you won’t have severe morning sickness, or that you won’t go into labour on the road…. I’m not sure about this one too much yet, but I think most women have some prior indication that labour is potentially coming. It is completely your call and quitting for the spring term would give you a chance to live as if you were a sahm, but I also think it’s worth weighing risks realistically.
Post # 3
I would say quit after fall if it won’t be a financial burden and you don’t go stir crazy if not working. I am so fortunate to be mostly a stay at home pregnant lady. I haven’t had any morning sickness and have felt excellent overall except for three weeks of debiliating lower back pain at about 9wks. I think being able to relax and really take care of myself is a huge reason my pregnancy is going so well. I only wish every woman was as lucky, (thank you husband!).
Post # 4
TuxedoKitty: well I see no reason to quit yet… I mean there’s lot of situations where people have jobs and medical things come up that interfear or make people need to quit. I would say if the extra money would help work until you can…and if you do get really bad morning sickness and cant handle it anymore then you get a doctors note… its not like they can force you to work? Outside of giving 2 weeks notice you have the right to quit. If you have to leave then you leave, maybe just have some things prepared for someone to take over if need be…. like do some prep on your own.
I know your probably feeling guilty because if you have to leave in the middle of the year it would be a hardship on them but if your planning on being a Stay-At-Home Mom afterwards then I wouldnt be worried about them taking you back?? Legally they cant give you a bad reference for any future job because you had to leave because of a pregnancy. If you get pg, just say it was a surprise (they dont need to know your intimate TTC details) and work until your not physically able to anymore. If you end up not getting MS bad and continue to work, Im sure you can talk to your doctor about the situation and tell them Im really not comfortable driving by myself at the end so I’d like to make sure Im gone by the time Im 8 months (or whatever). Im sure they will have no problems writing you a note saying you shouldnt be doing that so you can end on a good note…. its not like your trying to scam them for benefits or money so a doctor should be able to cover you!
Post # 5
Keep working. Make changes as you go. Also, even at 9mos pregnant, you can go 1.5 hrs without having to pull over to pee.
Post # 6
Not only that, but don’t PLAN on morning sickness. I have 2 children, been pregnant 4 times, and never had a day of morning sickness. I was tired, but not completetly useless exhausted as you seem to think you will be. After the first 3 months, my energy returned and I could have run marathons.
Post # 7
I don’t really think it sounds that crazy to do while pregnant, since you only have to do it 2 days/week. I commuted an hour each way to my job every day while pregnant, and I went to work right up until the day I went into labor. I also had bad morning sickness and other lovely side effects of pregnancy. I don’t mean this as a kind of “in my day I walked uphill both ways in a snowstorm!” story; I just mean that you’ll be ok. Take each day as it comes and cross your bridges as you get to them. You may not get pregnant right away, or you may find that being out of the house 2 days a week is a nice distraction for you during pregnancy (which is looong and feels like you are just waiting forever for something to happen).
All that said, though, it sounds like you kind of just want to quit — if you do, go for it — you don’t need pregnancy as an excuse. Good luck!
Post # 8
I would keep working, and I wouldn’t anticipate having morning sickness. I have an hour long commute each way that I do 5 times a week, and I was concerned about having morning sickness. I’m 20 weeks pregnant now, and I haven’t had any morning sickness. I say this as someone who is also prone to motion sickness. You just won’t know what your experience will be until you’re actually pregnant. At that time you can reassess the situation based on how you’re feeling, etc.
Post # 9
TuxedoKitty: it almost sounds like you are looking for an excuse to quit. If you truly hate your job, and want out, you should take an honest look at it and assess your options.
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2014 - Narrawallee reserve/beach & Mollymook golf club
TuxedoKitty: With my first I was fretting quite a bit about my distance from our chosen hospital. Living in remote rural Australia we had a few choices but the best choice for us was 1.5 hours away. The biggest thing for me was making sure I could give at least a rough location in case I did have to deliver a roadside baby. Despite my worries though I went into labour and remained at home for most of it. I kept regular contact with the midwives over the phone, followed their prompts and made it to the hospital with 2-3 hours to spare! So I wouldn’t use that as an excuse to quit. But if you’re unhappy with your job or feel you won’t cope then that would be a good reason to leave.
Post # 11
TuxedoKitty: If you can afford the reduction in income and want to quit, then quit. But pregnancy shouldn’t be a reason to quit, at least not until an actual issue develops. You might have a very lovely pregnancy, why anticpate the worst especially before you’ve even conceived?
Post # 12
TuxedoKitty: Honestly, I would quit after having the baby or at the end of the year. What if it takes you longer than you expect to get pregnant? You could be out of work for a long time. While 1 1/2 hours for commuting sucks, it’s not very many days a week. I would personally suck it up and deal with it.
But if you are ok with not having an income and not worried about future career prospects, then you could quit whenever works best for you.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I would keep working, since there are no guarantees for when you’ll conceive. If you do get morning/motion sickness during your commute you can do what I did- keep a ziploc bag in the car (luckily I never had to use it, but it was good to know it was there), and stock up on lollipops/hard candies (they helped me with morning sickness.)
And as far as early labor- most women have 12-24 hour labors for their first child. I think the chances of you “being stuck” are slim- worse case scenario, a co-worker could drive you half hour or so and your husband picks you up- you wouldn’t be going to the hospital for several hours anyway, unless it’s an emergency situation.
Post # 14
TuxedoKitty: I would keep working as well! I am also like you and get extreme motion sickness, and I have not had any morning sickness at all yet and I am 10 weeks. Having a weak stomach does not mean you will have MS fortunately. Only commuting twice a week isn’t too bad (even if its for an hour and a half). If you were to go into labor, maybe have a backup plan? I think you would make it to a hospital in time, but you wouldn’t want to be the one driving. Honestly, until you get pregnant its hard to tell how you will feel. I was convinced I would feel awful, and so far I feel great!
Post # 15
No, I wouldn’t quit before you’re even pregnant.
Some people don’t get MS. Most of the time MS is taken care of by eating something so as long as you eat something right away when you wake up…most people do okay.
I really wouldn’t be worried about being stuck 1.5 hours away, since most early labor is pretty manageable and you get some signs before it begins (so I’ve heard lol, I was induced and worked past my due date). Fatigue is hard early on, but mine cleared up (I had extreme fatigue 8-16 weeks) for the most part and I was perfectly fine until the end of my pregnancy. I was still sleepy and went to bed early, but I wasnt quite as exhausted as early in pregnancy. And exercise is good for you! So twice a week I could have managed to commute and walk across campus, I still went on 3 mile walks past my due date.
I wouldn’t count on any symptoms, pregnancies are so different that people can have virtually no symptoms and others can be completely miserable or put on bed rest.
Honestly, I don’t see why you’re too worried about it if you’re not pregnant. You’ll have 9 months, so maybe when you get pregnant you can quit before the next semester starts that you’d be due in.
By The Way, I have two tuxedo kitties 🙂