(Closed) At what point would you get Divorced ?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I have been divorced. It was a one time abuse incident. I didn’t need to stay for more. 

 

In my marriage now both abuse And infidelity would be a deal breaker. I don’t see either of those happening. My husband and I are a great pair. 

Post # 18
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Abuse and cheating.

Post # 19
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@sunelake27:  I think I might be able to forgive ONE instance of cheating. That’s really hard to say because one of the things I love so much about my Fiance is that I feel safe and secure with him. But maybe one…. if he had an ongoing affair or multiple one night stands, I would have to leave him. If he was physically violent with me, I’d have to leave him. Those are the only two things I can think of. 

Post # 20
Member
2664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@polyblonde:  Some people are willing to put up with more than others. It sounds like she’s willing to put up with more than her husband, which is totally fine. I think I’d probably put up with less than my SO would. 

Post # 21
Member
5153 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@sunelake27:  Lying, abuse, cheating or drugs!

Or if he became a woman.

Post # 22
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Lying, cheating, and being down right disrespectful are my big ones. It’s hard to say what would make me want to divorce my husband without being in that position, but those are the things I don’t think I would stand for. Cheating is a definite one.

Post # 23
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Abuse, towards me or anyone else, or violent criminal behavior. I think I could get over infidelity on his part, with lots of space and therapy, but I’m not sure if he could from me. Those are pretty much the only dealbreakers for me. 

Post # 24
Member
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

 When there’s nothing left that’s worth fighting for. It sounds simple, but  that’s how I look at it. Everything else is a symptom of underlying misery. 

Post # 25
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

it would take a lot. as long as SO was willing to really work on whatever problem we have i would try.

Post # 26
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We would divorce if either of us cheated Or we’re abused. We’ve also said we would divorce if we couldn’t have kids AND one of us wasn’t willing to do everything we could to have a child. Obviously we wouldn’t divorce if we couldn’t have kids automatically. It’s more that we would not feel supported by the other person. But we have talked about this and I don’t forsee it being an issue. 

Post # 27
Member
9134 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I have already experienced divorce once.  It was because my ex husband decided he no longer wanted kids after we got married even though he knew from our first date or two that I absolutely wanted kids and it would be a dealbreaker for me.

At this point in my life I am remarried and I entered this marriage with the belief that I am willing to go to counseling and try to forgive anything even adultery.  I also believe that after 15/20 years, the time you’ve spent together should count for something and you may need to work harder or forgive things you wouldn’t have put up with when you were younger.  The only thing that would cause me to immediately go to divorce would be physical or emotional abuse.

Post # 28
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I will divorce ONLY if abuse and violent behaviour are in the marriage; otherwise, I will work it out no matter what

Post # 29
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’ve been divorced.  There was gambling, adultery, emotional/verbal abuse, and my ex was unwilling to treat the mental illness that was probably undergirding all of those things.  So I left (which sounds so simple, took the cops getting involved to get me there in actuality).

Currently, Fiance and I have a few deal breakers.  Abuse, cheating, those are standard.  Addiction that either of us refuse to treat, since that destroys everything.  Fiance and I have discussed what could happen if his conditions deteriorate to the point where he is not the same person and staying with him is hurting me, and divorce is a potential option there, depending.  We try to have an open-eyed stance to it.  I think the underlying thread is when communication breaks down.  If we can’t communicate, we will hurt each other, and neither of us want that.

Post # 30
Member
12246 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@polyblonde:  Haha, I have lower standards. He’s never been cheated on, but I’ve been cheated on a thousand times (though never by him), and I think I could deal with it should the situation ever arise. And for the jail time thing, my Dad is a former felon. So I have a bizarrely high threshold for that. (And I couldn’t imagine him ever going to jail period, let alone for 5+ years!)

Post # 31
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Abuse, lying, cheating, substance abuse. And if my husband randomly turned gay and brought home his new gay lover. That would be a dealbreaker, lol. Not that I have anything against gay people, just that I don’t think being married to a woman would be a thing he’d want anymore. xD

 

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