(Closed) Atheist FSIL planning a baptism

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: Would you go?
    Yes : (54 votes)
    82 %
    No : (12 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If she’s someone who openly mocks religion, then presumably she won’t be surprised to have someone ask (non-confrontationally) why they’re choosing to have their child baptized.

    If you don’t feel you can ask, I would try to assume the best. You never know what’s really in someone’s heart. Maybe they’re feeling a call.

    After all…”Judge not, lest ye be judged.”

    Post # 4
    Member
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    IMO, infant baptism is about more than just the faith (or lack thereof) of their parents – it’s also a chance for the family, friends and congregation to promise before God that they’ll help raise that child in God. 

    Since you’re religious, it would seem to me you’d want to give your blessing to your nephew. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Sorry this is happening to you.  Hmm, it’s just a weird situation.  While it’s definitely extremely rude of her to mock others’ beliefs, I don’t think it would keep me from going to the baptism.  My parents are not religious at all (I think you could call them atheists, although they don’t make a big “thing” out of it).  Both my brother and I were baptized congregationalist.  Apparently, while neither of my parents are believers, they wanted to cover their bases – just in case.  It also meant something to my grandparents.  Definitely not done for the money.  Not saying your FSIL’s intentions are pure, but you never know.  Belief is a funny thing sometimes – maybe she’s an atheist but has a pull (as Mightywombat said) to get her child baptized.

    I would probably just go in the name of family harmony.

    Post # 6
    Member
    785 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    It’s her choice to have her child baptized, whatever the reasons.  If it upsets you so much, why don’t you privately ask her why she’s doing it?  Other than that, there’s really nothing you can do about it.  I’m pretty sure there are a lot of hypocrites out there that don’t actually believe in their religion but still get their kids baptized.  Just go and be as supportive as you can.  It’s not really worth the fight in my opinion….

    Post # 7
    Member
    3758 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    That is really ridiculous that she mocks Christianity and wants to haver her son Baptized! I do not think someone should not have their child Baptized or dedicated unless they are committed to raising their child in God and so on and so forth because if not it is nothing but an empty gesture…

    Post # 8
    Member
    2142 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Is she planning a Christian Baptism or a “non-Christian Baptism”? I would assume Christian from what you said, but then I had a neighbor and also a cousin who had non-Christian Baptisms for their children (I attended my neighbors and was very confused and uncomfortable).

     

    I think I would go but I would be very uncomfortable. If you believe she is in it for the money, perhaps give a gift like a Children’s Bible or a Precious Moments book? You are (potentially, if she keeps it) contributing to the spiritual life of the child without letting her “win” if that is her goal, and would not be confrontational.

    My brother and I each got a children’s bible when we were dedicated, with our names engraved on them. It was one of my favorite things until it quite literally fell apart 14 years later.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4583 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I would probably go to the baptism out of politeness but I would feel awkward being a part of this woman’s charade. I’m agnostic and even I was appalled reading about her behavior during the mealtime prayer. My fiance’s family says grace before every meal and I’ve always been respectful of that even though it’s not my thing. It seems very strange to me that she wants to have her child baptized at all.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3758 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @Knubbsy-Wubbsy: I agree, if I was to go I would buy a nice child’s bible or something like that.

    Post # 12
    Member
    167 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Maybe the family is pressuring her to go through with the religious rituals and she is too polite to refuse her family members?

    Post # 13
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    im assuming becoming a parent is pretty life changing as maybe she is maturing and changing her views on some things

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Since I don’t know you Future Sister-In-Law, I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. She may not want to force her child into atheism or any religion. She may be offering her son the opportunity to choose to remain within the faith until he is of age to decide otherwise…. or I am completely off base. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    2344 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    While I agree that it is strange, I would give your Future Sister-In-Law the benefit of the doubt. Baptism is more than religious – for many it is a cultural family tradition and perhaps that’s what it means to her more than religious significance. Or maybe she’s had a change of heart – faith is very personal and complex. Or maybe it IS for the money – but people have parties all the time for that reason, so to me it isn’t much different. Poor taste? Absolutely. But don’t begrudge your future nephew because of it. You certainly don’t want to give her that ammo to tell people – and your nephew one day – that you didn’t attend his baptism. Demonstrate YOUR good manners and attend with a smile, bearing a gift for your nephew that can’t be cashed in for her use.

    Post # 16
    Member
    139 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Yes, it is weird that she mocks Christianity but wants her child to be baptised.  Maybe she is turning a new leaf.  But if she is indeed continuing to mock God, I’m sure He will deal with it.  Although it may be offensive, you really can’t worry yourself about what’s behind her actions.  Basically, let go and let God.

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