- 1 week ago
- Wedding: May 2019
My first sounds just like your little one. She was colicky, never slept unless held, screamed when she wasn’t being held, constantly needed soothing. I would often find that swinging her in my arms in a rythmnic motion while calmly making a “shooshing” sound helped a bit when her screaming was really bad, but honestly it wasn’t a given that it would help. My husband is a good man but worked a lot and wasn’t home many hours of the day so I was very alone in raising her besides running over to my moms to regain a little sanity. For literally the first 3 months straight I “gave in” and let her sleep on my chest. I don’t know if it’s recommended, but I did it anyway. It’s the ONLY way I got any sleep whatsoever. She would sleep solid 3 hour chunks on my chest and I can’t tell you what a blessing that was. I was nervous I’d drop her or she’d roll off but her slightest move and I woke up even being exhausted. Again, not saying it’s considered the safest way for a baby to sleep? But it worked. After that I had her sleep in a baby bouncy seat thing. Again, not recommended for sleeping but she would NOT sleep lying flat and I didn’t trust putting pillows in her crib for fear of suffocation, and elevating one side of her crib didn’t work. But in the bouncy seat she slept again for a few hours in a chunk. I just made sure she was buckled in at the waist and she was directly next to me while I laid in my bed. Now, I seriously do understand that there are very important recommendations for sleeping safety due to SIDS and other dangers, but I was NOT sleeping. I mean I was getting 30 minutes of broken sleep in a day and I was truly worrying people with my sleep deprivation. As my daughter grew I learned more about high needs babies/children. My daughter absolutely is that to a T. I also DO believe in attachment parenting and 100% believe that it helped in raising my daughter to be more mentally and emotionally stable and independent. I carried her everywhere as a baby. When she wanted to be picked up, I picked her up and loved on her as much as I could. I wore her in a carrier ALL the time. Grocery shopping, cooking (careful near the stove of course), I mean everything. I KNOW some of it went against the baby books and MANY moms shook their heads at me, I could LITERALLY feel the judgement some days as I walked through the store for numerous reasons. My daughter just needed different parenting. My accepting this freed me and was my ticket to sanity! I parented her how SHE needed. Not how the books or society told me to. I also heard all of the woes that attachment parenting creates needy, clingy, entitled children, yet I’ve found the opposite. My daughter is a naturally anxious person in some respect. I sensed that since day one. However, I truly believe that because I nurtured her above and beyond and made sure she felt secure that it did in fact grow her independence. As she’s grown, many children her age are far less independent. She confidently goes to sleepovers (while giving me big hugs telling me she’ll miss me), shows amazing leadership skills in school, and takes on new tasks with confidence. She knows I love and support her and if she falls, I’m here. But I really believe it’s because she had it ingrained in her since birth that I would comfort her and be there for her. I know it sounds crazy when talking about a baby a few weeks old. But I absolutely could tell her personality was different even at that age. She’s an awesome kid, but exhausting to parent. It takes purposeful parenting with a high needs child. I say alllllll that to say this. Give yourself a break, parenting is ridiculously hard. Learn to parent how your baby needs you to and don’t read books. You ARE the perfect mom for her. You will figure this out.