Attachment parenting?

posted 1 month ago in Babies
Post # 211
Member
39 posts
Newbee

I haven’t read all the replies (so many!) but wanted to put this out there. During weeks 4-8, my baby went through the witching hour from at least 5-10pm and nothing could soothe her except for two things. One is a YouTube white noise (search “colicky baby sleeps to this magic sound”, it’s the 10-hour one) and the other is the Baby Shusher (it’s the orange and white thing that makes shhhh sounds).

I hope things get better for you very soon!

Post # 212
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

It does sound like it might be sensory. Can I give you some tips? I’m a newborn photographer, I have to get babies asleep quickly and deeply, and I’ve dealt with my fair share of screamers. 

* hold the baby over your shoulder and pat her VERY firmly and quickly on the bottom. She’ll be well padded, you won’t hurt her. 

* while you’re doing that, make a fairly loud SHHH SHHH SHHH sound. I used to warn parents it might sound angry, but it does need to be more than a whisper. The whooshing noises they heard in the womb were pretty loud. 

* change her before you feed her, no matter how angry she gets. Then swaddle her and keep her swaddled while she’s being fed. 

* get a fan and place it away from her so that she just gets a gentle breeze. 

Post # 213
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

helixthecat :  well, i can’t say i know a whole lot because my son is only 18 months, but i will say that if i have one piece of parenting advice it’s to follow your instincts. we do attachment parenting in part (at least, i do) because it feels right. but i don’t let my child have whatever he wants – inappropriate foods, doing physically dangerous things, running out in the road, hitting, pinching, biting, etc., i say no, take it away, and he can cry about it. i explain to him he’s frustrated and why he can’t have what i said he can’t have, and we work to redirect. i don’t think following your instincts and doing pseudo-attachment parenting means giving into your child’s every whim, but rather using empathy, understanding, and affection to help them navigate the incredibly difficult developmental growth they go through in their first several years of life.

Post # 214
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

I know you’ve received a lot of comments, but just want you to know you’re not the only mom to ever feel this way. My son just turned 1 and I could have written this when he was the same age as your baby. All of the sleep advice out there can make you feel like your baby is broken and you’re doing everything wrong. I don’t know why anyone writes sleep training books for babies under 6 months since that’s the earliest they can self soothe. 

Once I stopped trying to force my baby to sleep the way he “should” things got better. This meant I put him in a carrier while doing chores around the house and co-slept for most of the night, but at least I was getting things done and getting some sleep. Don’t worry about spoiling her at this age. The first 6 months at least are really about survival so give yourself a break.

Also, remember everything with babies is a season so know that every phase passes even if it feels like forever. At this point I can’t get my son to sit in my lap for longer than 30 seconds and heaven forbid if I try to hold him, because he has things to do. I promise your baby won’t want to be held forever.

Post # 216
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

helixthecat :  helixthecat :  that’s not what you’ve done and she’ll outgrow this. Have you tried keeping a food diary to see if her bad days line up with what you eat? Have you tried cutting dairy and soy? It needs to be out of your diet for 2-3 weeks before baby will see full benefits, if she has dairy sensitivity. Have you tried a probiotic for her? A chiropractor?

I know some ladies have already asked you some of these questions. Sorry if you’ve already answered them.

 

Hang in the. You’re doing great. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Post # 218
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

helixthecat :  hey I just wanted to say I have a baby who had a rough time too so I can empathize. She would basically scream all the time and would pretty much only sleep if she was being held. Usually by me. She had gas problems and reflux issues from the start but her ped kept insisting it was normal and it would stop soon. They told me it didn’t matter if my husband and his entire family have the exact same heartburn  issue and every single one of them get heartburn from drinking water.

Well. Spoilers. It didn’t improve but at 6 months they finally put her on reflux meds. That helped the most. Between that and finding a formula that she could tolerate she was like a different baby.

However, I also had to go through a bunch of different formulas too before I found one that my daughter could tolerate. Holy cow was that expensive. I tried all those delicate tummy formulas first because they were supposedly amazing but they were no help. I finally landed on Gerber soothe which got her through til we started her on soy when she was 1. I’m not advocating that brand because every baby is different and what my baby tolerates might not be helpful for your little one. But if you have only tried 1 or 2 it might be worth trying some other ones to see if they make her tummy feel better or not. 

Anyway. You’ll get through this. I know it sucks right now. Believe me. Hugs if you want them.

Post # 219
Member
46 posts
Newbee

Hi,

 

I felt the same way you do, overwhelmed with guilt, useless, frustrated and exhausted. If this is colic, please know that it will pass even though it seems like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. Your baby will start feeling better and you’ll be able to find your way out of these dark days.

Nutramigen is designed for cow milk allergy but it still contains dairy – the proteins are broken down but a baby with a severe dairy allergy may still have trouble tolerating it. Our pediatric gastroenterologist told us this and then prescribed Puramino after we tried Alimentum (similar to Nutramigen) and saw no change – baby still crying hard all day and night and blood still in his diapers. Things improved with Puramino. I had been vegan for many years so knew all the hidden dairy products and was able to quickly eliminate milk proteins from my diet, but it still took weeks to get out of my system. Has your doctor tested your baby’s stool? It’s a really simple test they should be able to do with a diaper you bring into the office.

I also advise going to a specialist and asking for an evaluation of your baby. 

Also think it sounds like she is suffering from reflux, she probably doesn’t want to be put down because you hold her at an angle and that helps keep acid down. I believe you said she’s on medicine. Is it fast acting or slow acting? They had to put our baby on both for a while until he felt better.

Post # 221
Member
46 posts
Newbee

Just remembered, the doc even had us adding mylanta to some of the baby’s bottles! 

I had all these lofty ideas of what kind of mother I was going to be: the baby would be exclusively breastfed, fed natural and organic foods… LOL. Every plan went out the window when the baby came and wouldn’t stop crying!

Just keep doing the best you can ❤️

Post # 222
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

helixthecat :  I hope you land on a formula that helps soon!! 

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