(Closed) Attachment Parenting.

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I like the principles/idea of it, but it’s rarely executed well (that I’ve seen). My Future Sister-In-Law is doing this and it’s going to a creepy degree where the kid is going to end up severely screwed up because she will. not. let. him. go. and won’t let him form healthy relationships with other people. 

I think this is something that you have to be very careful with. You can become very attached to your child to a point where you push others away from him/her, especially if you present symptoms of PPD and fail to recognize that. We think this is happening to my Future Sister-In-Law and no one will say anything to her because god forbid you ever say anything to a mother about anything, despite the fact that she’s hurting everyone around her.

Anyway, I think it’s something that you and your partner really have to be a team on and keep one another in check to prevent something like ^^that happening. 

Post # 4
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Eh I dunno. I naturally adopted some of the aspects of it but stuff like bed-sharing is not for us.

Post # 5
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

As PP said, in theory its good. Provide a loving stable childhood, essentially.

However in practice most people seem to think the original author meant a lot more extreme measures than he actually did. Its a real misunderstood parenting philosphy.

It turns out that many of Sears’ views are less extreme than his critics (and  even many of his followers) realize. And attachment parenting is rooted just as  much in Sears’ childhood as in his experience as a pediatrician.
Read more: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2114427,00.html#ixzz2P1zbtnsN

 

In fact as you look at some of his reasoning its purely based on anecdotes in his life, not over a population.

Sears says on his website that “excessive” crying over “prolonged periods”  can damage an infant’s brain. He mentions that the cry-it-out approach has the  potential to cause “harmful neurologic effects that may have permanent  implications on the development of sections of their brain.” Sears cites a  number of academic studies to back up his point.

 

A close look at the research, however, does not actually provide evidence  that bouts of crying associated with sleep training affect brain development. 

The science on attachment is also easily misunderstood and misused. The father  of attachment theory is John Bowlby, a British psychoanalyst who in the mid —  20th century studied orphans and children abandoned by their mothers. The  difference between children without consistent relationships with parents (or  parental figures of any kind) and well-parented children who are fed formula  (instead of breast milk) and put in bouncy seats (instead of slings) is huge.  The former, science says, are headed for developmental and emotional problems.  There’s no science to show that the latter will turn out any different from  children raised via the attachment-parenting methods championed by Sears. But it  is easy for a mother reading Sears to confuse the two and believe she is doing  irreparable harm by not holding her baby constantly and ensuring the infant  never cries for more than a moment.

I am not saying his advice is wrong, but its equally right as most other philosphies and one has to decide what works for them

 

 

 

Its a good article, give it a read.

 

Post # 6
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee

Friends of ours are doing this and although I can see the benefit for the child (potentially) I think it expects a lot out of the parents. We haven’t seen much of them at all since they’ve had their baby and what we do see of them is totally baby-centric. I know it’s really hard on the mom, she’s always been really independent and I think it’s wearing on her.

Then again I may just be missing my friend, I know as far as a lot of parents are concerned I’m not allowed an opinion until I have kids of my own. 😛

Post # 7
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yeah I think the more you read you figure out what will work for you.  My parents used some of the theories.  We were only ever with my mom or dad our first year, no baby sitters or “secondary care givers”. Other than a few other experiments, common sense and lifestyle took over. 

 

Post # 8
Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

@vorpalette:  I agree with this because I’ve seen it firsthand many times; you need to achieve a balance and make sure you don’t go overboard. I have lots of friends that are so close to their parent(s) that they can’t do anything themselves. One of my coworkers is a senior at university like me, and his mom registered his classes for him this year. That’s a bit much for me.

Now, me personally, I appreciate my parents keeping me at a somewhat arm’s length. 

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