(Closed) attend reception only?

posted 7 years ago in Reception
  • poll: What would you do?
    Attend just the reception : (68 votes)
    83 %
    RSVP no : (14 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    654 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    As a bride, even if I knew that it was possible my guests couldn’t come to my ceremony, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be disappointed if they didn’t. Or miffed that they did manage to make it to the open bar.  I think that if it’s absolutely impossible for you to find a way to go to both, you shouldn’t go at all.  We all know that even though people mainly focus on the reception, the whole (and only) real point of a wedding is the ceremony.  Even if I completely understood your situation, part of me would still be pissed that you only came for the food. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    528 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Doesn’t seem a problem to me, as in the UK it is common place (and by this I mean standard for every wedding) to have evening only invitations. They are for people you are less close to or associates/ work collegues rather than close friends and family. I gather it’s not something done in America, but your reasons are genuine so I don’t see the problem. If you’re wanted as their guests surely they’ll be happy to see you in the evening rather than not at all?

    Post # 5
    Member
    528 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    * thought I should clarify that these evening invitations are for the evening party only and not the reception dinner. Is it the dinner you’ll make it to or the part after? Either way my answer is probably still the same. Guess it’s a different perspective over here as things are done a bit differently anyway.

    Post # 6
    Member
    14496 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Its a friday wedding with some distance involved, so I am sure the bride would understand. I would just Rsvp to the event then give her a personal call and explain to her, or vice versa. I am sure she is aware of the logistics of a friday wedding, so I would thonk there would be some understanding of work situations.

    Post # 7
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I don’t know- I would talk to the bride.  See what she says/ how she feels.  Good luck.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1267 posts
    Bumble bee

    We’ve had to miss the ceremony for both Friday weddings we’ve gone to recently.  We just don’t have the type of jobs that make taking off of work on a Friday possible.  As well, to me, a wedding is more about the celebration of two people coming together, the dancing, dining, talking, toasting and revelry that comes from the reception.  Being a non-religious person, I usually find the ceremony aspect to be (DON”T BEAT ME UP BEES) boring! Sorry!!! I’m super happy everyone is getting married and everything but I don’t really need to hear about the religious readings and stuff to be happy about it.  The vows can be nice but often you can’t even hear them or they are just you know, standard. (sorry – don’t be offended anyone please, just my own opinion and preference).

    Of course the actual marriage is what we’re celebrating but I don’t think not being able to see that part at all means you shouldn’t go be a part of the couple’s happiness and celebrate with them.  So go. 

    Plus, when you book a Friday wedding, which comes with the awesome perk of less expensive, you MUST know that there are going to be many people you are inviting that cannot make it to the ceremony, so it’s a give and take.

    Post # 9
    Member
    503 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I too think that when you book a friday wedding you know you are giving up some things. Especially a friday wedding with some distance. I would place a personal call and explain the situation, I think the bride will understand.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    As a friday bride, I knew that choosing a friday especially an afternoon ceremony start time, would mean that some people wouldn’t be able to make it.  I was thrilled to see them at any part of my wedding, whether it was the ceremony or the reception. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    the reception is a 2hr drive away from the ceremony?  wow

    Post # 13
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I went to a Friday wedding and there were probably 50 people at the ceremony. There were like, 200 at the reception! it seemed fairly common that folks cannot attend an early afternoon friday wedding.

    Post # 14
    Member
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I just recently attended a Friday wedding that was also like @ejs4y8 (~50 at the 3pm ceremony; 200-300 at the 7pm reception). so I guess it’s not uncommon.

    Post # 15
    Member
    654 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’m a Friday bride too, and I don’t expect to see anyone at my reception who wasn’t at the ceremony.  To be fair, that’s partly because my ceremony is late and being held in the same venue right before the reception, but that’s besides the point.  I expect a lot of no-shows, but that’s not because it’s a Friday wedding, it’s because half my guest list is out-of-town.  Everyone else who wants to be there will, I’m sure, make the effort to be there – for all of it.  A good friend of mine had a Friday lunch wedding a couple years ago, and I don’t believe that anyone showed up after missing the ceremony. 

    Also, I asked my fiance this question last night for additional input on your poll and his response was “Hell no”.

    @busterbluth: That was me, and no it’s not rude, and no it’s not an assumption.  If I planned a baptism or a funeral or graduation, and a bunch of people missed the ceremony (i.e. the reason for the party to exist in the first place) and then still wanted a free dinner, I’d be pissed.  I’m a Friday bride too, if you’ll notice, and I am answering honestly that I would be really annoyed by this.  Yes, I invitied them because I want them there – for the ceremony.  If they can’t change their plans or balance their priorities to accommodate that, then okay that sucks for me, but I’m not going to be like “Well sure, why don’t I just spend $100 on your plate anyway”.  No chance.  If they care enough about my wedding to come at all and support it, they’d surely have enough respect for it to be there for the whole thing. If they can’t be there for the whole thing for whatever reason, I’d expect them to have the decency to tell me so and bow out gracefully.

    Post # 16
    Member
    5891 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @busterbluth: several points:

    1) love your name AND photo.

    2) 2 hours away from ceremony on a friday? really? REALLY?

    3) as a good faith gesture, i would explain sitch to bride, but really, can’t imagine she’s gonna have a prob with this

     

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