Post # 1
Although my (straight) ceremony is pretty traditional, I’m trying to alter bits here and there so that it reflects an egalitarian partnership vs. traditional gender roles. As it happens my two attendants are women, and my FI’s are guys b/c that’s the way it worked out with our best friends.
I’ve seen weddings where the BM’s come in solo and all the guys are already up front and others where they are escorted by the groomsmen.
My concern is this…my best friend is a lesbian. She’s already doing me the huge honor of wearing a gown for the first time in probably 15 years (her choice, I was fine w/ pants), so I’m not sure that I should ask her to walk on the arm of a guy? The two women could come in together or separate, but only having them do the big parade doesn’t fit my own sense of equity. Have any of you had guys do the processional on their own (not just scoot in before it starts)?
Lesbees and others who , what would you prefer? I know that my friend does not want to draw attention to herself.
Post # 3
i like it better when the guys are already standing up there. you only have 2 of each though, so it’s not like having them walk separately would drag out the processional.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2010 - Heritage Square Museum
I’ve been in weddings as an attendant where I walk by myself, and i’ve been in weddings where I walked on the arm of a guy- truthfully neither one made a difference to me, so long as my friends (the brides) were happy.
Maybe your friend wouldn’t care either way? Or, like Kitzy says- having 4 people walk out individually would be totally fine too!
Post # 5
I am not big on the whole thing of having the guys just already be up front, while only the women process. As far as I’m concerned, it’s just one more sexist tradition I could do without.
Even if you choose to have all attendants process, you can have them walk solo, or walk two by two. And the two can be both male, both female, or one of each. We’re talking a 30-second walk down the aisle, not a romp in the hay, so you don’t have to ensure that each one walks with his or her preferred gender.
In our wedding, we had only two attendants, my son and my daughter. They walked in solo, and walked out together.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2010 - Ocean View Villas/Jasmine Seafood Restaurant
We had 15 people (then add in grandmas, parents, flower girl, ring bearer) in our wedding party and we still had everyone walk down the aisle. It didn’t take that long at all. No one seemed to care. We had the next person starting when the other person was halfway down the aisle. I liked the idea. Then coming back down everyone can do the same. At that point, no one is even watching anymore. ha! It’s nice of you to consider your friend’s feelings and to think about egalitarian ways. Bravo.