(Closed) Attending 2 ceremonies?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Which ceremony (ceremonies) would you attend?
    Both (please explain why) : (15 votes)
    47 %
    Only the ceremony before the reception : (15 votes)
    47 %
    Neither : (2 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    13292 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    While I don’t think you’re obligated to go to both, I do feel it would be rude not to attend unless you had a reason.  This couple is balancing their separate identities and showing respect to both their traditions by having two ceremonies, and your husband has agreed to participate in the wedding.  He is clearly important enough to his friend to be asked in the wedding party, ad your husband agreed, so the friendship seems to me to be a pretty important one.  If he is attending both ceremonies, I think you’d need a pretty solid, legitimate reason to not look petty for not attending. 

    Post # 4
    5428 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Since your husband is attending both (being in the wedding party and all) you as the wife should attend both too. It would be proper. Plus think of all the free food! (just joking!)

    Post # 5
    7901 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    You should go to both if your only reason not to is personal and not an actual conflict.

    As for expectations, I’m sure they were clear with their bridal party about their decision to haev two ceremonies. It’s not like they forced your husband into this. He agreed to be in the wedding party. You should be there to support him as he supports them.

    How hard is it to put on a dress and show up for a ceremony? I’m assuming this doesn’t involve any overnight travel since you probably would’ve mentioned it. Plus, Greek Orthodox ceremonies (which, by the way, are also Christian) are really neat.

    Post # 7
    1755 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @mrslittlefish:  I say no, you’re not obligated to attend both.  If the ceremonies were on the same day or even on two consecutive days, it would be one thing.  But having to attend a second ceremony a week or so later when they’re back from their honeymoon?  I think it’s unfair to expect you to give up another random day for them.

    Post # 8
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @mrsSonthebeach:  +1


    OP: Your husband agreed to be in the wedding, this wedding happens to have 2 ceremonies, you need to be a supportive wife and attend both.

    Post # 11
    1686 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Sometimes this is a compromise couples have to make to keep their respective families happy. I don’t think this is about them being greedy about having more days. Sometimes when people end up doing things this way, it can feel a little frustrating as a guest, especially if your husband is in the weding party, but the reality is, this situation just isn’t about you.

    Your husband being in the wedding may mean he has to attend both ceremonies, but that’s an obligation between him and his friend. You don’t have to attend any of their events at all, if you aren’t particularly close to the couple and your husband doesn’t mind. You can always decline and your husband can give the couple a gift from you both and express your regrets at being unable to attend.

    Even if you do choose to attend, I wouldn’t feel obligated to attend both ceremonies. Choose the one that you’d prefer and have an unfortunate obligation on the day of the other. Your husband’s a big boy and can go to one of them alone.

    Post # 12
    1686 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013


    Evangelical and Greek Orthodox? (I understood what you meant from the beginning. 😉 

    Post # 14
    4375 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    You’re not required to attend either, but I recommend going to both. I read your other post, and I can completely understand why you dislike this guy, but I still thik you should attend both ceremonies if your Fiance is going to be in both of them (as long as you don’t have a conflict with work or anything important).

    Have you talked to your FI? He might be upset if you don’t go to both, and for something as minor as sitting through a second ceremony, it’s probably worth keeping the peace. It might also be awkward for him to explain your absence.

    I don’t know how long a Greek Orthodox ceremony is, but I’m betting the whole second event will be less than 2 hours – it’s not that much to sacrifice.

    Post # 15
    989 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would probably go to both unless there was a compelling reason not to.  Not having anything to do whose event it is, but just because Darling Husband and I try to attend formal events together out of support for one another.  If one of us is ill or can’t make it due to a previous engagement, that’s one thing, but generally we stick together.

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