(Closed) Attending a wedding, need advice

posted 11 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think you should go. I understand that you are hurt, but this is her wedding day and you don’t want to give her added grief or aggrevation. If you wanted to discuss how hurt you felt, I’d suggest waiting until after the wedding.

I get that you may not want to go b/c of your husband (which is what she did to you), but I think you care enough to want to be the bigger person in this case. 

Besides – think about how she may react to you not wanting to attend her wedding b/c of your husband not going..she may be more hurt than you are by her. And if you decide not to go, would you, honestly, regret not going in the future?

Post # 4
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

I would suggest that you do whatever you’re comfortable with. If you think you’ll feel uncomfortable without your Fiance there, I would say it’s OK not to go. If you want to go, though, and are just worried about what other people will think, I say go for it!

It also kind of depends on how you feel about the friendship at this point. If you want to reconcile with your friend, attending the wedding (solo or not) wouldn’t hurt. Hopefully after the wedding is over and the dust settles, she’ll come around.

I’m sorry this isn’t more helpful, but I think the best thing is to go with your gut. Good luck!

Post # 5
117 posts
Blushing bee

I think you need to ask yourself if you truly want to be there to celebrate her marriage with her. Set aside the way she has been acting when making your decision.  If the answer is yes then I think you should go even without your FH.  I don’t think you’ll regret going but image how you would feel if sometime down the road you two really revived your relationship and you didn’t go to her wedding. 

Good luck with your decision.

Post # 6
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Reception only????  Such a breach in ettiquett…(unless it’s a no-gift wedding)…but I’m off topic…

I think you should go and enjoy yourself and try to catch up with her.  Her FH may not be the reason she’s acting wierd, it could just be her.  If you’re truly friends, you can get over that, especially since sometimes we (women) disappear when we finally find THE ONE.  Give her a chance!

Post # 7
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with everything Ms. Tofu siad. 

If you really don’t care for her anymore, that would be one thing.  But I doubt you’ve written the last chapter in that book.  When both of your weddings blow over, maybe you’ll be able to reconnect.  By then both will be married, and if/when you have children, that will be another way to bond.

As for not going to your b-day party, because he didn’t want to go, try to give him the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe he’s shy.  Maybe he was sick.  Maybe he was trying to get back at her because they had a fight.

Good luck.

Post # 8
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

@Mighty Sapphire-

I had to do a reception only invite list.  Our wedding site would only hold so many people, period, but we wanted to share the day with everyone, so thus we invited many people to the reception only.  We didn’t invite them to receive more gifts, we invited them because we wanted to boogie down with them!  I don’t see a problem with reception only invitations.

I would think it’s more taboo to invite people to the ceremony only, instead of the reception.

Post # 9
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Definetely go!  Take this opportunity to start the mending of your friendship with her.  There are lots of events that I want to go to that my husband does not, especially weddings.  The only wedding he has ever wanted to go to was our own!  At first felt insecure that I would attend something alone, but I got over it and learned to enjoy it, and it makes me appreciate it more when we do other things together.

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