Post # 1
I have only had two boyfriends. One I met in grade 10 for 4 years and then my current FI. I haven’t talked to my ex in 5 years, but I was very close with his family and have stayed in contact with his mom on and off. I do miss his siblings and his Dad sometimes because they were so helpful and supportive of me as a teenager who was super confused about life. Let’s just say both of our families were close to each other and the sudden break-up was hard (he cheated, they don’t know and think we broke up because I went away for school).
Anyway, I received an invitation to his Mother’s retirement party, which is tonight. A few weeks ago I emailed her saying I wasn’t comfortable RSVPing until I talked to her son, but I hadn’t in a while and needed his contact info. She assured me it would be a large party so it would be okay even though he would be there with his sister and nephew. I really want to see his family, so I decided I would go for 1 drink and leave after an hour if it was really awkward.
I was feeling fine about it until just now. It is tonight at 8pm and I am feeling really unnerved about the whole thing. I don’t know what to say to them, or how to behave. Do I hug his Mom and Dad and Sister but then stand there awkwardly with him there? Oh it’s just so weird.
I don’t really know thepoint of this post. I guess I just wanted to get it out there and maybe I’ll feel better about it.
Post # 3
Good luck! Is your FI going with you?
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Send a card, stay home. Unfortunately, ex’s families are exes as well. It’s only going to cause problems and awkwardness into the future if you try to maintain contact with them. How are you going to handle his new girlfriend(s)? How are you going to handle his future fiancee who finds it weird you stay in contact with his family and demands they stop seeing you? There is just no happy ending to this situation. Cut the cord and move on. Hopefully your current FI’s family is nice and you can create a strong bond with them.
Post # 5
There is no need to stay in touch with exes or their families. The past is the past – move on. Politely decline the invitation and spend the time with your FI instead.
Post # 6
@JenniMichele: No, he is a Dj and has radio show tonight, but my mom is going with me as they have remained friendly.
@Sunfire: Yeah, i agree that exes are exes and there is no need to remain in contact. That is probably why I am feeling weird. Ugh. I guess I thought maybe this would be a good way to say “congrats on your retirement” and be done with them. He has a live in girlfriend that I know of but haven’t met, and he knows I’m getting married (through his mom telling him I assume). I have no idea if he knows I’m coming tonight :S
Post # 7
Send a nice card, but don’t go. It’s time to let them fade away into the place of exes past. I know you were close to them, but think about how shitty this makes him feel. I get that he cheated, and he’s a jerk for that. But he was in highschool and it was years ago. He doesn’t need a reminder of you every time there’s a major family event.
Post # 8
My gut tells me you ladies are right. I just called my mom and said i felt uneasy about going so we arent going to go. Ill send a congrats card instead.
thanks for talking sense into me!