(Closed) attending parties with people you don't like (ugh)

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1342 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Stace126:  Show up, be all smiles, be classy and show that you are having a great time.  People like that thrive on knowing they get under your skin.  Don’t let them see that!!!!!

Post # 4
Member
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@MrsJX3:  I second this.  OP, you said it yourself.  This is all very “high school”.  Take the higher ground, ignore them, and have a great time. 

Post # 5
Member
3770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

How many people will be at this party?  I would go and just ignore them.  Talk to other people, or even if you are in a group of people talking, if they try to start anything negative with you, just ignore them.  

Post # 6
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Stace126:  Wow, they sound just lovely!  (dripping sarcasm)

You’ve done the right thing by distancing yourselves from these obvious narcissists.  More than likely you’re not the only ones in your group getting a little fed up with the attention hogs, they sound so boring and judgmental.  Who needs friends like that?  Ugh!

Since you want to go to the party, I would go.  I certainly wouldn’t let an obnoxious couple keep me from my friends or from attending a party I was invited to. 

What I would do, honestly, is go to the party and have a blast.  I would interact with my real friends and completely ignore the rude couple as though they were invisible. 

Laugh, drink, chat with everyone, have a wonderful time! 

Seeing you and your Fiance getting along great with everyone and enjoying yourselves, while giving them zero  attention, will bug the crap out of them more than anything else.

  Wink

Post # 7
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I know how you feel. Some of FI’s friends are still friends with his psycho ex (these friends do not know what she did to us, unfortunately), although only one really hangs out with her anymore/invites her to group functions. She emotionally and verbally abused him for two years, and harassed/stalked me for those two years plus at least another after he dumped her.

We were all invited to a wedding reception, and she showed up (ugh). I could FEEL my Fiance tense up when she walked in, so I just grabbed his hand. I’m more liable to immediately punch her in the throat, but I kept my cool. She stopped by our table to talk to a few people, and then immediately took her friend (no idea who, and no idea why she didn’t bring her husband) to a table by themselves right behind ours. Eventually, they moved across the room and played on their phones, not speaking to each other or anyone else. Everyone else had a blast, and I had to laugh at how sad and pathetic it looked for her to show up and then go sit in the corner like a child.

I would just go. Go and enjoy yourselves, and ignore them. They’re obviously sad people.

Post # 8
Member
986 posts
Busy bee

Don’t let them be the reason you don’t go to enjoy the party! Go, act classy, be gracious and say hello, and leave it at that. You can always leave early if you’re uncomfortable!

Post # 9
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Oh honey, don’t you let Queen Awful of the Nasty People spoil your night.  Nona certainly isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but the cat’s eyes will spin before she misses a party!

Go out, get you a new outfit, some fabulous shoes and YES that includes a handbag, get your hair done and step into that party on the cloud of confidence that only comes from a woman feeling beautiful….the entrance is 98% of attending any party, so if you can nail that the rest is cake.

When she starts flapping her jaws about how marvelous everything is, my kid, my ring, my house blah, blah, blah…you let her run out of wind, smile, and say this, “I’m so happy your happy.”  and take that conversation by the horns and direct it to someone else, ask how they’ve been doing, what they’ve been learning, where they’ve been traveling…interested, is interesting and if a person walks away from you feeling better than when they walked up, you will be the hit of the party and Loud Mouth will be the squaking obstacle people avoided with your flawless help.

You got this honey, now go forth and SHOP!

Post # 10
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Nona99:  I adore  your way with words!!  Kiss

Post # 11
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Sunfire:  My mother is from the South, they have a way making EVERYTHING sound nice, don’t they?

Post # 12
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Nona99:  I’m from the South, haha!!  Who knew you were a Southerner, too?  How cool.

Post # 13
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Sunfire:  It certainly is!

Post # 15
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Stace126:  Just because something is new does NOT mean it was expensive.  If you really can’t afford a new outfit, and that makes me sad by the way, borrow something from a friend, go to a consignment store or even a thrift store and find something to dress up what you’ve got. 

Next step, STOP IT, you are not a screw up, an idiot or any of the other things you threw out into the universe up there, you are a vibrant and intruiging woman who is living life the best way she knows how and just in case you aren’t convinced remind yourself that NO ONE’S life goes according to plan…EVER.  And I will gurantee that Loud Mouth has her share of life ruining problems, othewise she wouldn’t be shakin what she’s got all in everyone’s face.

Feeling sorry for yourself is not the answer, and you know that, do what you need to do to make yourself feel better, sometimes you gotta work from the outside in…confidence is key because nasty people smell insecurity like a shark does blood….you are better than this woman, now show her that.

Post # 16
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Stace126:  First of all, stop right now with putting yourself down.  Just stop it!  It is destructive to your psyche to talk negatively about yourself.  The more negativity inside you the more negative energy you’ll continue to generate and guess what type of things you’ll be drawing towards yourself?  You got it – BAD THINGS!

List some wonderful things about yourself right now!  Either for us here or just on a piece of paper at home (or wherever you are).  I know you lost your job and I’m sorry.  But shit happens to all of us in life!  You have to pick yourself back up by your bootstraps and get out of this dark hole you’re in.  Your attitude makes your quality of life in life.

If you think you’d feel overly uncomfortable at the party, then just don’t go.  Or, put in a brief appearance to see your friends and leave as soon as the enemy couple starts getting on your nerves.

But, above, all stop berating and belittling yourself.  It is not helping you!  You are a wonderful person who has a man who really, really loves you.  You are going to be married.  Everything will work out for you!  Don’t give up.  Keep your chin up, girl!

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