(Closed) Attn Brides who are paying for as much as possible for their BM’s!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We’re paying for: dress, shoes, hair, jewelry, breakfast and lunch the day off. For the guys we’re paying for: tuxes withshirt, shoes, ties, etc., and breakfast and lunch the day of.

The girls will be doing their own makeup or I guess they could get it done at the salon if they wanted to pay for it and I’m not doing mani pedis.

We’re getting each couple (our bridesmaids are all married to our groomsmen) a gift of around $60 each.

Post # 4
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I wanted to pay for both hair and makeup for my girls, but in the end needed to scale back because I was spending waaaay too much on them.  I gave them a choice of having either their hair or make-up paid by me, and if they wanted to have the other done they would have to pay for that themselves.

Here’s what I’m getting them:
-breakfast and lunch on day of
-hotel suite the night before (so we can have a slumber party, $360 + taxes)
-make-up or hair ($80)
-Goodie bags: envirosak (paper-source, $10), jewelry (DIY’d but somehow about $20), pashmina (ebay, $10), stainless water bottle (Ross, $5), lounge pants and tank top (Old Navy, $30), Havainas flip flops (Gilt Groupe, $10)

I feel like that is pretty generous even though I am not paying for their dresses or shoes.

Post # 5
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The only thing we are paying for is hair and make up, a small gift (most likely jewelry), and possibly a girls afternoon before the wedding. We’re flying one of my FI’s groomsmen and putting him up in a hotel, because he and his wife are in school and they just had a baby. So basically we had to if he was going to be in the wedding. Unless your BM’s are also strapped for cash I wouldn’t offer unless it’s a make or break. That’s really expensive and I know our budget wouldn’t be able to handle it. 

Post # 6
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

When I first started my planning, I was going to pay for everything for my bridesmaids; dresses, hair, makeup, jewelry, shoes, etc.  But once I figured out the budget that could not realistically be done.  Luckily one of my bridesmaids told me that part of their duty as a bridesmaid was to pay for their dress and anything else that they might need.  All of my bridesmaids agreed.

So they did end up paying for their dresses, I am paying to get everyone’s hair done and also my MOH’s makeup (my other bridesmaids told me they preferred to do their own makeup), and I am paying for their jewelry.  They will also each get a $20-$25 gift at the rehearsal dinner including drinks at the bar since I will be having a cash bar and not hosting an open bar.

I wish I could have paid for more, I hate putting everyone out.  I’m just glad that they saw it the way they did and they aren’t resenting me for it.  I think I really chose the right group of girls.

Post # 7
1011 posts
Bumble bee

For my Maid/Matron of Honor who was my sister, I paid for her dress, hair, make-up, and told her she could wear whatever shoes & jewelry she wanted.  I got her a Wii (and her Fiance who helped a little the games).  She paid for her own pedi.  I had my flower girl’s dress made and gave her a necklace, but asked for a specific style of shoes (although I offered to pay for them).

However, for the best man, who wore his own tux, I got him a formal tie, formal vest, and we gave him a waterproof garmin for running.  The ring bearer provided his own suit, but I got him a vest and had his suit altered.

Then, I bought the ushers’ ties and the dads’ ties.  And I bought both mothers’ dresses.

Post # 8
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I am paying for their jewlery, brooches, and a gift. I made sure to select dress for less than $150 and they can wear whatever shoes they want (as long as they are silver).

Post # 9
1104 posts
Bumble bee

From the beginning I said I would contribute $100 towards the cost of my girls’ dresses. We ended up buying dresses that were $100 each, so that was taken care of! I told them to wear whatever (black, sparkly, dressy) shoes they wanted, and whatever (dark) jewellery they wanted as well. I told them if they wanted to get their hair and makeup done, they would have to pay for that (they all got makeup done but only one had her hair done). I bought them sparkly clutches in different colours, lip gloss and a bottle of local liquor as presents. For my bridesman I paid for his suit hire and he got a slightly more expensive present since he didn’t get to keep the suit 🙂

I think if you “require” anything (shoes, hair, jewellery, etc) it’s good to pay for it. But if you are ok with letting them choose their own, then it’s ok to not pay for it. I don’t think anyone expects you to go into debt for your bridal party, but it’s a good idea to look after them as much as you can 🙂

Post # 10
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m paying for 1/2 of my Maid/Matron of Honor dress (I only have a Maid/Matron of Honor, no BM), her hair and makeup the day of. I asked that she wear black heels of her choosing, so I’m not paying for those. She can wear whatever jewelry she likes, I don’t have any “rules” about that. 

And I will be buying her a gift, non-wedding wear related. 

Post # 11
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I paid for part of their dresses. Bought them flats to wear (MOH will be 9 months pregnant, the other two Bridesmaid or Best Man will wear shoes of their choosing during the ceremony) I got them a cardigan to wear if it gets chilly (J. Crew). A small purse to put lipstick, cell, etc in. (etsy), a hanger to put their dress on, with the name (etsy), a bag to put it all in, and will pay for their hair to be done. (they all prefer to do their own make up).  I will also be paying for the option to stay at the Inn (where the wedding is) the night prior (we are doing a 10:30am wedding and brunch reception), the night of, or within one year of our wedding.

I am not sure if we are doing mani pedis, but would offer to pay for them as well, if we can make it a girls day out. Wink 

Other than that, every time we have an outing (my dress shopping, we went to four locations, to the florist, the cake tasting) I have taken them to lunch. I feel lucky enough that they want to share in each moment so far, that I thank them with lunch. (I am the last of the “girls” to get married) so their enthusiasm means the world to me. 


Post # 12
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I paid for their dresses, hair flowers, bouquets and jewelry.

Post # 13
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Honestly, if you are trying to cut back, I think you would be better off eliminating some of your requirements than trying to pay for everything.  For example, do they have to have their hair and make-up done, or could they do it themselves if they wanted?  If you are not requiring that they have it done, you don’t have to pay.  Then you could still pay for their dresses if you wanted.

We actually took that to an extreme.  Because we had only one female attendant, she wore clothes she already owned.  We then paid for her accommodations.  However, I do understand that with five, you want them to look at least somewhat matching.

Post # 14
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m paying for the dresses, but that WILL be their gift. I am doing my own hair and make up — so they can too. I have some small gifts too but nothing expensive.

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