(Closed) ATTN: Brides with KIDS!!! Did you change your last name, hyphenate or leave it?

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: Name results:
    LEAVING/LEFT IT : (9 votes)
    33 %
    CHANGING/CHANGED IT : (14 votes)
    52 %
    HYPHENATING/HYPHENATED IT : (4 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3141 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I am married now and we both kept our own name and I have a teenage son who has his Dad’s last name not mine. I am not too happy about this as I raised him on my own since before he turned 1. So now we are a family with three different last names πŸ™‚ 

    Post # 4
    Member
    8 posts
    Newbee

    My mom got married when I was 5 and I have had zero contact with my biological father. I’ve had my mom’s maiden name since I was born, and my “dad” (the guy my mom married) adopted me shortly after they were married. However, my mom wanted to keep my last name in some form so both her and I have her maiden name moved to be a second middle name and then we both took her husband’s last name.

    She really wanted to keep that important aspect of my life, but she also wanted things to be very similar between all of us, so when my sister was born a few years later, they decided to give her my mother’s maiden name as a second middle name. I love that she wanted to keep it for me since it was a hard adjustment for me at that age and I also love that she’s conserved the same trend with her & my sister as well. However, I must admit that when I get married I will be dropping both her maiden name & my adopted father’s last name because it would get too long. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    8 posts
    Newbee

    @bohosioux:  No, it’s not exactly hyphenating, but it keeps the consistency & same idea without the last name being so long. So when I fill out a form, I have my adopted father’s last name as my last name, but then for middle names I have my middle name that I was given at birth along with my mother’s maiden name. Is your Fiance planning on adopting your children in the future? 

    Post # 8
    Member
    3141 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @bohosioux I did not marry my son’s father, I married my wonderful wife πŸ™‚ I did not take her name as both my parents have passed and I would like to keep it in honour of my Dad. My last name and her last name are very similar, in fact when  a couple guests read the invitation quickly they thought we shared our name already. I would love it if my son would change his name to my last name but he doesn’t seem to want to. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    90 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My children (ages 9, 7, and 3) really want to take on my fiances last name. Well, the 3 yr old is oblivious but my older kids do lol. I asked them why (they currently have my last name) and they said because he isnt just marrying me…he is marrying our family and they should have his name too. (Smart kids, right? Lol) My 9 yr old went on to say she doesn’t want the name of a family she knows nothing about, but since she knows her new dads family so well she wants to feel like she belongs.

     I can totally relate with her. My mom remarried when I was7 and I desperately wanted to take his last name. I know nothing of my biological fathers side. My dad (he raised me, he gets the title πŸ˜‰ tried to adopt my brother and I but the bio-donor put a big halt on that. So my brother and I grew up just using his name. We were registered in school with his name, all my friends know me as his name, usually people have no idea who I am if they hear my legal name. Even family on my dads side! My cousin just got married and had no idea I wasn’t “really” a (last name here) lol.  I know I will have the exact same issues with my ex  as my mother had, so I’m going to let my kids “use” their dads last name as well. When they’re 18 they can choose to legally change their last name as well. that was my original plan…turn 18 and have it legally changed. But I moved to another country that year, and when I came back got pregnant. Actually, this is raising a new question for me…I wonder if I should legally have my name changed now before my wedding…

    Post # 12
    Member
    116 posts
    Blushing bee

    Me and my sons father has been separated for 5 years already. I will keep my last name but add my FI’s name when we get married. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I’m not currently engaged but I have thought about this a lot. I understand your frustration, I have raised my son by myself since birth. He has his father’s last name.

    Ideally, I think I would love to be able to change his name whenever I get married but I honestly think his bio father would really fight me on that one. So my second choice would be to hyphenate his name. He’s only 4 now but my hopes would be that he could eventually choose which last name he would like to identify with.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    2493 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I have yet to do-so, but I will be changing my name to share Darling Husband and DD’s.

    Post # 16
    Member
    497 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    My Fiance has 2 boys (10,8) from a previous marriage and when his ex wife asked him if she could change their last name to her soon to be new husbands last name, him and I were furious. Its completely unacceptable to ask such a thing.  The boys remained with his last name and their new half brother has her new husbands last name. Maybe if the father was like some absentee dad or something but thats it. Hyphening a kids last name seems childish and completely unnecessary  to me a lot of the time. I dont understand it really but thats just my opinion.

    The topic ‘ATTN: Brides with KIDS!!! Did you change your last name, hyphenate or leave it?’ is closed to new replies.

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