(Closed) Attraction to someone other than DH…

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Be careful… I would talk to Darling Husband about the sexual issue and try to resolve that with him,  and try to avoid spending time “alone” with the cousin.Surprised

Post # 4
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would definitely proceed with caution and not hang out with this cousin alone.  Also, you need to discuss any issues you may have with your Darling Husband because until these are resolved you may continue to crush on this other guy,

Post # 6
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@happyface:  I agree.

Be cautious.  It’s obvious the two of you have chemistry and most likely he’s noticed it as well.  Leave it at that.  It’s not unusual to be attracted to someone else, but keep it to yourself and keep your distance (physically) from him.  

Post # 7
Member
4371 posts
Honey bee

I think it’s normal to find other people attractive as long as you don’t act on it. But you should talk to your Darling Husband about the sexual issues between you two. 

Post # 8
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You guys need to make time for sex! I know when it has been a while since I “got some” I start noticing other guys too. Sex is a very important part of a relationship, and it shouldn’t get overlooked. 

And like PPs said, I wouldn’t spend any more time alone with the cousin.

Post # 9
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Nothing good can come of you two spending any time alone. I know its easy to get a crush on someone or think you are attracted to them. it happens but it should stop there. 

Post # 10
Member
909 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

While I think finding someone else attractive is completely normal, you’re making it easier for yourself to cheat. Remove yourself as much as possible from tempation. That means, as PP have mentioned, stop hanging out with C alone. Work on the issues still present in your marriage without introducing new problems to the situation. 

Post # 12
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@aliveorjustbreathing:   You need to schedule some romantic, special time for you and your Darling Husband.  The two of you need some private alone time – can you take a weekend trip to a romantic location?  Sex and intimacy are extremely important parts of a marriage.

Don’t put yourself into close proximity with the cousin.  Don’t discuss your marriage with him and don’t discuss his marriage.  There is no need for you to have him as your close friend in light of the fact you have a crush on him.  Don’t be alone with him again.

That’s playing with fire.  Put it out.

Post # 13
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You’re going to be attracted to other people throughout your life, thats normal. Acting on it is a choice and only you can make that choice. Nothing anyone here says can influence you. You know what is right and wrong, what you do with this is up to you and you alone because you have to live with the consequences. If you’re worried about acting on this crush, take appropriate action and take some time out or dont be alone with C.

Post # 14
Member
9578 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@SoupyCat:  +1

Post # 15
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

@happyface: +1 — I totally agree with you. I couldn’t have said it better my self.

OP: Just hang in there and try to talk to your hubby your situation. This can get really toxic and it’s dangerous. I know you mentioned you would never cheat, hate the way you are feeling this way etc. Don’t put yourself in a compromising position with this guy. I hope you and your Darling Husband will talk this out. Hugs!

Post # 16
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Nope don’t spend time alone with him. Not a good situation.

I would tell myself the same thing if I became friends with Leo DiCaprio Embarassed

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