August 29th Wedding

posted 3 months ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you attend a wedding August 29th 2020?

    Yes

    No

    Would wait to decide

    Only if it was a CLOSE friend or family member

  • Post # 2
    Member
    798 posts
    Busy bee

    I would not attend an August wedding. We have a wedding in mid-September that I will not attend and one at the end of October that I am in, so I am waiting to see about that one.

    I think you will find that most people will be relieved if you cancel the wedding. Going forward puts people in a really tough spot of having to weigh potential health issues against not wanting to disappoint a couple they love. I can’t imagine what couples such as yourself are going through having to give up the wedding they have been planning for a long time. But I’m really struggling personally with my friends who are proceeding with their weddings because they are putting everyone at risk and not showing regard for guests.

    Post # 3
    Member
    3116 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    I wouldn’t unless it was like, my sister.  And honestly, I would guilt-trip the hell out of her to cancel / postpone for a later date and elope in the meantime.  I just don’t see how it’s responsible to have a large gathering during a current pandemic.  Ohio is still pretty active-looking to me, and most epidemiologists expect numbers to pick up as states reopen.

    PS – I’m sorry, I know it totally sucks.

    Post # 5
    Member
    867 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    View original reply
    @2020mkbride:  I’m sorry….I can’t imagine trying to figure this out. I have a 2 month old so I am also mourning plans that I could not realize….no visitors, so much of my family has not met him, no adorable newborn photos, not even the ones they take at the hospital. I say go with what your gut is saying! Your venue isn’t allowing for postponement? I’m asking bc you said you have thousands invested that you cannot get back.

    Post # 6
    Member
    8191 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Probably not. Everyone I know with August dates already postponed… 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2747 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    Is the wedding indoors or outdoors? If it was outdoors and people would be wearing masks/social distancing, I might consider it. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    867 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    View original reply
    @2020mkbride:  Oh! Damn…350 people already!! That’s crazy. I’m in CA and we are having a surge. I would almost go through with it and let every guest know that you understand if they don’t feel comfortable and also encourage masks 

    Post # 11
    Member
    798 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @2020mkbride:  In your shoes, with lots of people urging you not to postpone and your state already allowing large gatherings, maybe it does make sense to go ahead with a smaller group but be clear that you understand if some guests, even important ones, don’t come. And you truly don’t hold it against them.

    I am not judging my friends’ choices, but they have been nowhere near as introspective as you seem to be. The September couple hasn’t even entertained the idea of postponing or scaling back, and the October couple just had their first discussion realizing people may be uncomfortable attending last week, and sadly I know it will be friendship over if they proceed with the wedding and I don’t attend. Proceeding with your wedding does put guests in a tough spot, but as adults they have the power to decide what is best for themselves.

    Post # 12
    Member
    74 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2020

    We postponed our original wedding to August 2020, and we are proceeding with it. We were only allowed to reschedule to another 2020 date, and we have spent $75,000 on this wedding (no refunds allowed). We would just elope if we could cancel/get a refund. We have expressed to our guests that we **completely** understand if they are uncomfortable attending, family and wedding party included. We have had 75 people RSVP yes so far. Guests are of course welcomed to wear masks if they choose, and the venue has as many safety precautions as possible in place. It’s definitely not ideal, but what can you do at this point? I trust that everyone will make the decision that is best for them and their health. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    48 posts
    Newbee

    Look, as a fellow 2020 bride, I totally get it sucks to keep postponing. I also live in Ohio and work for a major health system – it is highly unlikely I will go back to work in person this calendar year.

    It just feels a little tone deaf to still host a reception in these times. Period. It’s not fair and we are also losing a ton of money as a result, but I just can’t fathom being responsible for hosting an event that family and friends felt obligated (whether you like it or not, however you phrase it, people will feel obligated to attend) to participate in and potentially got ill from attending.

    Also you should probs review the guidelines for weddings in Ohio – it’s 300 people, no congregating or dance floors/dancing allowed, no self serve buffet, etc. If any of that is important to you, I would cancel or reschedule. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    13519 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Sorry, but I would not attend a wedding of that size this August no matter how close I am to the couple. Consider also that some people saying they will attend are unlikely to be happy about it but will risk attending because they love you. 

    The looser restrictions, especially something like a large group function are mostly economic and political. They are in no way what the large majority of infectious disease and public health experts currently recommend. How would you feel if one of your guests got sick or worse, died? A penalty for postponing is a small price to pay. It’s just not worth it.

    I would either postpone a large party as there is a greater chance of a vaccine or treatment by then, or do something small and intimate. Personally, I’d get married now and then plan a large celebration when it is safe to do so. That time is not now. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    10541 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    If it was like under 10 people and for an immediate family member or super close friend, yes.

    A wedding with 100 guests? Absolutely not. Even with half that number of guests I wouldn’t be attending.

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