- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014 - Catholic Church Ceremony & Restaurant/Bed & Breakfast Reception
My former college roommate of 4 years (we met freshman year in the same major) and I have had 5 phone conversations in the past 7 years. That and the occasional facebook “like” or comment on a post have been the extent of our relationship. I was in her wedding 8 years ago. I went on to grad school and moved around, made new friends, built new community. She went on to have children and be a Stay-At-Home Mom. Based on this limited interaction I presumed a mutual understanding that this is one of the many relationships that come and go- that served it’s place well during a season of our life.
Since I’ve been engaged this friend has “liked” and commented on nearly every photo posted by others (cough, mom 😉 of myself and my FH. I’m rarely on facebook so I missed the last 3 messages from her regarding why I wasn’t responding to her messages…
She finally today texted to ask if we can talk soon and when I responded she said she’d send me a message. What ensued was basically her thinking that I was upset or that she had hurt me somehow and I was ignoring her this past year. (When in reality we haven’t talked much in the past 7 years…). She wanted to know what was going on. I responded as tactfully as possible by saying I had appreciated her time in my life and our friendship for the season that it lasted and that I have become involved in the two respective communities and friendships in the places I’ve lived since college. I explained that I’ve had a peace about being invested in the present with the people in my community. I thanked her for the time and memories of our friendship.
She responded “Thank you for clarifying. There are friendships that survive life’s transitions and I thought that held true with ours. I was obviously wrong in this instance. I am sorry. I hope your marriage is everything you hoped for and more.”
Bees…what should I do? I feel bad, but I also felt like this kind of came up out of thin air- notably once I got engaged. Was she expecting to be in the wedding? After 7 years of sporadic communication? I’m not sure if I really even need to respond at this point- but my people pleasing nature really feels bad to let someone down.