Aunt and Uncle Title

posted 2 weeks ago in Parenting
  • poll: Who is your children’s life do you call aunt and uncle?

    Only blood aunts and uncles

    A small group of very close family/friends

    Everyone we (parents) are close with

    No one

    Other

  • Post # 2
    Member
    3709 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    Growing up it was reserved for blood relatives only. Family friends were never referred to as aunt or uncle. As for what we’ll do with our kid(s) (currently pregnant with first), I’m not sure. Leaning towards reserving it for actual aunts and uncles.

    Post # 3
    Member
    715 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2020

    When I was a kid, we used it only for real aunts and uncles.  I remember my mom’s friend used to sign my birthday cards as “Aunt” when I was a kid even though I never called her that and I thought it was weird.  My sister has her kids calling cousins and friends aunt/uncle.  I’m not a fan of it, though.

    Post # 4
    Member
    7238 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Growing up we only called our actual relatives aunt/uncle. But as I got older and my friend group started having kids, we do refer to our friends as aunt/uncle and same for their kids to us. IMO family isn’t reserved for just those you are blood (or marriage) related to – but rather the people who are a constant source of love/support within your life and for your kids. I’m not really close to my brother and his wife at all. Not out of dislike, just because of distance and we’re vastly different people. Honestly my toddler wouldn’t recognize them from a whole in the wall and they’re his *actual* uncle/aunt…which IMO shows me I probably need to make an effort to show him their pictures and talk about them. Where as he talks about my BFF on a daily basis. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    7640 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    For me, it was only blood aunts/uncles. For my husband, in their culture basically everyone around your parents age was referred to as auntie or uncle. I found it so weird when we were dating and he’d say this auntie or uncle was visiting but they were just random family friends. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    10242 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    Not a parent, but growing up we had a few family friends we referred to as aunt/uncle. I’ve always assumed our kids would call our best friends aunt/uncle, especially when they are little. I believe true family is the family you choose, not just blood relatives. So, for me, those terms aren’t just for blood/legal relatives.

    Post # 7
    Member
    8967 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    We use it for blood/marriage and our very closest friends (which includes Godparents). I only have one sister who passed away and so there aren’t any blood aunts/uncles on my side – I have an amazing group of close girlfriends who are like family to me and I love that we are all “auntie” to each others kids. We also don’t have any nieces/nephews so I selfishly love that my best friends’ kids call me “auntie” since my sister isn’t here to make me a real one. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    4648 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I grew up callng only blood relatives these titles (and those that married them) – but that included actual aunts and uncles (and great aunts and great uncles) as well as my mom’s first cousins, though I tend to just use the cousin’s first names name that we’re all adults. 

    Most of my friends kids just use my first name. but we do have a local friend whose kids see us regularly and call us “aunt” and “uncle” and I find it so sweet. 

    I have a few really good friends who I consider family (and I’m closer to than my actual siblings), so I think I’ll probably call them aunt and uncle to any future kids, but I wouldn’t do it for ALL adults or family friends. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    4185 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Oh man, all of our best friends are Aunts and Uncles to my kids. My son knows only two are actually someone’s sister, but we have about 4 couples who we are very close with and call Aunt/Uncle. They love our kids so much, and are an active part of their lives, so I feel they deserve the title. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    10352 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    Everyone is an Aunt or Uncle. Maybe that’s a southern thing? I mean, obviously not strangers but our friends and close family friends of the parents are Aunt or Uncle. That’s the way I was raised at least, never thought to ask my husband but he also refers to our friends as Aunt This or Uncle That to our kid. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    633 posts
    Busy bee

    I grew up calling all close family friends either Aunt or Uncle Fill-In-The-Blank (as well as blood related aunts and uncles of course), although funnily enough, none of them had kids of their own, or otherwise their kids were much older than I was. So, an Aunt or Uncle that wasn’t related to me by blood was: A close family friend specifically of my parents who didn’t have a kid my age (so none of my close friend’s parents, because they were “So-and-so’s Mom or Dad”, not “my Uncle or Aunt Whatever). Don’t know if that makes sense, but that seemed to be how it shook out. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    805 posts
    Busy bee

    I had a lot of grandparents when I was a child who had no blood or marital relationship to me or my parents—but they did play the role of grandparents in my live. I loved them fiercly and they were good to me. I feel like family isn’t who you happen to share legal or genetic ties with–its who you love and who is committed to your life. I believe that the people who will play that role ought to be called by the title. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    6918 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2016

    For us, Aunt/Uncle includes blood relatives and close friends as well as family and possibly friends who are significantly older as a title of respect. I’ve also got people I don’t require him to call Aunt or Uncle but they still play that role in his life and in our family/community and are loved and respected accordingly.

    I’m also very clear with my son about who IS NOT in the Aunt/Uncle circle- his cousins’ father is a deadbeat and a mooch. He’s barely a person or father, let alone an uncle. I am polite with him but dismissive and I’m clear with my son about why that is.

    Post # 14
    Member
    648 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2019

    For myself and my daughter it’s blood aunts/uncles and their spouses. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    2360 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    View original reply
    @bear123:  When I was a kid, I called my moms best friend Aunt. That’s how she was introduced to me, and that’s just how I knew her. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized that she wasn’t my aunt really, or at least wasn’t my aunt by blood or marriage. Eventually, my mom’s relationship with her drifted and I haven’t seen her since my early teens. 

    Another scenario was when my niece was born, I wanted to go by Aunt “Nickname,” but my nickname was the name of one of my SIL’s close friends. I found out while SIL was pregnant that they were referring to the friend as Aunt, and since her name is my nickname, we’d share the same name. I was hurt by this, because I felt I should have precedence as my niece’s actual aunt. I didn’t say anything to anyone about it though and just decided I would have to be Aunt “my full name,” but then my SIL stopped referring to her friend as aunt and gave her a new name. It meant a lot to me that SIL was so courteous. The friend actually got married and moved away, so my niece won’t even know her now. 

    So, I probably would stick to blood and marriage relatives. It would take a very strong relationship for me to give a non family member the title, and even my BFF and I rarely manage to see each other with our schedules, so I doubt it’d happen. 

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