Post # 1
I just wanted to share my story because this is something that is really bothering me. I have an aunt who is the daughter of my paternal grandmother. When my grandma raised her, she was a single parent who was working two jobs to support 3 kids. She didn’t have much time to give her children or much money to spend on them. My aunt claims she had a rough life and blames my grandma for most of her problems.
For reasons that aren’t important to this story, I never had a relationship with my parents and was actually raised by my grandma (aunt’s mother). After my aunt was an adult, my grandma opened her own restaurant, saved up some money and retired. She was able to give me a better life than she could give her own children. We lived in a nice house and could travel together during the summer. I ended up going to college and graduating (something my aunt never did) and I found a nice, successful man to marry.
My aunt cannot be happy for me. She complains that my grandma gave me a better life than she had and my grandma basically owes her money to make up for that. She says it’s not fair that I was spoiled and taken care of by her and now I’ll be spoiled and taken care of by my Fiance. Her comments make both me and my grandma sad. I have very few relatives and I want to be close to the ones I have. My aunt won’t visit me, won’t acknowledge me on birthdays or holidays and she rarely ever talks to me (even through e-mail). She is so jealous of me even though I didn’t have parents in my life and I had to work hard to get to where I am today. I’m afraid she and her children won’t come to my wedding and that I’ll never have a relationship with them. Should I try to talk to her about this or should I just move on and accept that she doesn’t like me?
Post # 3
Wow…I’m so sorry. This just plain sucks. Mostly because I don’t think there’s a thing anyone can do about her attitude. She has a huge personal problem and until she can make peace with her past, there’s no way you’re going to have luck talking to her about how you’re feeling. I’d just try to keep a smile on your face and be as nice as possible to her when she’s around. Her issues are with her self and her past. She’s completely misdirecting her anger.
Sorry you have to be the one that gets the brunt of her bad attitude. I have an aunt (my mom’s sister) that has never been very warm to me or my sister. My theory is that it has to do with the way my grandparents (her parents) treated me and my sister vs. her kids. I just tried to be as sweet as possible around her.
Post # 4
You aunt seems like a troubled person. I wouldn’t take it so personally, I think she’s just angry and bitter with the world. A lot of people go through much worse and aren’t so resentful towards the very family that always stood by them or blame them for all their issues. Money shouldn’t matter and her choices most likely affected her life more than any of her loved ones.
I would invite your aunt and be courteous to her, she may realize on day how selfish and inappropriately she’s acting but chances are she’s stuck in her own pity party. Hopefully she’ll make peace with her mother and with you and forget the idea that anyone owes her anything.
Post # 5
ouch. but just remember,
should you find yourself the victim of other peoples’ bitterness, ignorance, smallness, or insecurities, remember that things could be much worse. You could be like them!
I know it will be hard, and it really sucks that she is so petty, but how she is treating you is unfair and hurtful and you don’t need anyone like that in your life.
Cut her out. Forgive and forget her. Don’t invite her to the wedding. People like her, at her age, won’t change. She believes the world, and her mother OWE her, instead of realizing that SHE is responsible for her own life. Living in the past, it’s sad.
Her malice will only poison her in the end. blessings…
Post # 6
Thanks guys. It is hard for me to accept that this is her problem and not something I can make better, but I will try to let go. My Fiance has a wonderful, solid family that I am happy to be a part of. Hopefully, her issues won’t affect my wedding day.