Post # 1
Like many during these hard economic times, we had to have a tight guest list. I just couldn’t invite everyone I wanted to. Two of the people that didn’t make the list was two cousins of mine. I have seen them once in the last twenty years (At another cousin’s wedding just a couple months ago). We did invite their mother, my aunt though. We did this because my dad chipped in a little money and so I thought I should invite all his siblings.
Now she’s making me feel a guilty about it. She told me that their feelings are hurt, and had another aunt call me to ask if they were invited. Now, not only do I feel obligated to send them a last minute invite, I really don’t know how to word one. I thought it was rude to invite people so late (the wedding is in a month).
Should I ignore this and leave them off the guest list like I had planned or should I call them and invite them at the last minute. And if I do that, how do I word things?
Post # 3
I would call them and let them know that unfortunately due to guest limit restrictions you were unable to accommodate everyone but that you want to thank them for wanting to share the day with you. I wouldn’t invite them last minute because it really seems like it would just be a pity invite to appease your aunt. I wouldn’t ignore it because that might make it worse, but you also don’t want to be walked over and have a ton of people adding extras last minute. Good luck!
Post # 4
I second what Dance said. And, honestly, their feelings probably weren’t hurt all that much… your Aunt’s feelings were hurt.
You could also just call her and explain your situation; she should be able to understand.
ps. if your not-close-cousins are anything like my not-close-cousins, they would have attended out of respect for their mother/your aunt, but would rather have the night open to spend with their friends or family.
Post # 5
These things drive me crazy.
Well, one way of keeping the peace is to have them first (and perhaps only) on the “B-list” and invite them last minute. It may kill you to bend over, but if auntie comes to the wedding and sees empty chairs…
Or, if your cousins are cretons, then stand your ground and get someone else to tell her “no”–your mom, your FMIL–just someone other than you or FH. She can pout all she wants, but at the end of the day, it’s your money, your guests, your wedding.
Post # 6
I agree with dance. It never ceases to amaze me that people get so hurt, even though they haven’t seen hide nor hair of you in YEARS. My guess is that the aunt is speaking for them.
Post # 7
I bet it’s just your aunt that doesn’t like it. I would stick to your guns about your guest list.
I didn’t invite all of my cousins either. So far I haven’t heard anyone complaining about it, but I’m kind of still expecting it to come up at some point. I have so many cousins though (and my cousins have children too) and we are in a wide range of ages…I invited the ones that I felt I “grew up” with and I just hope that everyone is understanding about that.