Post # 1
So my cousin’s mom, also my cousin messaged me months ago informing me that my fiance, stepfather and grandfather were not invited to her daughters wedding wedding and only me, my mom and grandma were invited from our part of the family. We got facebook invites the other day and my mom said she was told we weren’t invited. My aunt, whos the grandmother of the cousin whos getting married, messaged my mom and said the girls were invited but not the guys for “money reasons blah blah blah”. My mom asked if this was only us and asked specifically if a few cousins were allowed to bring their BOYFRIENDS. My aunt wouldn’t answer her(which tells me they are allowed) and told her she wasn’t getting into a pissing contest(whatever that means) and that there were reasons we didn’t understand. My mom said fine, none of us will be attending. My aunt than said that she thought the guys wouldn’t care and she hates to see family broken. I’m upset that we’re not going and would love to go but NO WAY am i going without my fiance. I would be missing him all night and would probably get asked by other relatives where he is and would probably give them a bitchy response. Plus don’t usually couples go to weddings. What, I’m suppose to dance with my mom?? Its bull that my cousins are allowed to bring there boyfriends and I can’t bring my fiance and more importantly that my grandfather who is there BLOOD isn’t invited.
Post # 2
My brother had a similar issue happen during his wedding. My SIL’s parent were paying for their wedding and didn’t give my mother much say in who was invited. So my father’s brother and his wife did not get an invitation but other members of the family did. Their reason behind this was because my uncle does not come to any family events and my SIL had never met them (which is true). But because they did not get an invite the rest of my father’s side did not come. They took offense to it and rightfully so. There was definitely some drama about it all but since my SIL’s parents were paying for the entire wedding my mom did not get much say.
Now that I am getting married and my mom is in charge, we have every intention of inviting all family and guests of theirs. We don’t want to deal with the drama like before. So let your aunt deal with the drama, don’t go if you feel it isn’t right what they are doing. And when it comes to your big day, just learn from their mistakes and don’t limit your family and the people you love from your guests list no matter what.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
It wouldn’t be the end of the world if it was just your SO that wasn’t invited because after all, they probably don’t know him that well & would rather use his spot for somebody closer (not that I agree with this thinking, but I could probably get passed this), but the fact that certain FAMILY members aren’t even invited really rubs me the wrong way.
Post # 4
I just find it very odd that only the woman are invited. She tried to use the “didn’t think guys would want to come anyways” excuse, but we all know that’s bullshit. It’s just so weird that even your grandfather who is blood related to the bride isn’t invited. I’m sure he feels super loved right about now.
If you really want to go, just go. However, if it were me I wouldn’t want to attend. Not because I can’t attend a wedding without my husband, but because I find it very rude to not allow someone’s husband or fiance to go but someone’s boyfriend is invited. Sounds like the bride doesn’t really care about you, your grandmother (who I’m guessing is her great grandmother?), or your mother and is playing favorites with her other cousins.
Post # 5
It is total bullshit and I wouldn’t go either if my fi, father or grandfather were not invited. Your aunt said about hating seeing broken family… We’ll they caused it.
Post # 6
countrygirl91: ugh. I feel for you. My cousin did something similar at her wedding and it’s affected our relationship. She had said that it was family and close friends only but invited some 2nd cousin’s boyfriend.
Decide what you want to do, but FB invites and not having grandpa is just strange.
Post # 7
stephanie091512: I might could get past this if other cousins weren’t allowed to bring their boyfriends. Because a fiance is closer to family than a boyfriend. My mother specifically asked if two of my female cousins were bringing their boyfriends and my aunt wouldn’t answer which tells me they are. Thats not right itself. But the fact that my grandfather who the brides mother stayed with for years at one point isn’t invited is just way beyond wrong.
Post # 8
Its odd that having a vagina is the ticket into your cousin’s wedding.
Post # 9
The whole affair sounds rather haphazardly organised to put it mildly. Who sends Facebook invitations for starters? Also, it is ridiculous to say that the men wouldn’t want to go anyway! I’m not a stickler for outdated etiquette and sure, there are occasions when +1s are not issued. However, that’s not the same as simply ruling out the whole male gender from one side of the family regardless of their relationship to the invited women!
What I would say, OP, is that if you do attend this wedding you don’t compound their rudeness by handing out a “bitchy response” to anyone unfortunate enough to ask where your SO is. That just stoops to their level. Personally, I’d stay well clear of the whole thing. It has the makings of an episode of Jeremy Kyle (or for US readers, Jerry Stringer).
Post # 10
countrygirl91: This sounds horribly put together. I wouldn’t attend either if my DH wasn’t invited, but especially wouldn’t attend if family members were left out. That’s just plain rude and there is no excuse for that level of rudeness. If you do decide to go, don’t stoop to their level. Doing so will reflect negatively on you. Let them take the spotlight for their rudeness. I’m not even sure what I’d suggest you say if someone asked where your fiance was…hmmm.