Post # 31
We don’t have any nieces or nephews, but I think it depends on your relationship with the parents and location.
None of my aunts and uncles ever made it to my birthdays as a kid- the only ‘extended family’ that did was my one set of grandparents that were local (they were always there, and still go if I’m coming home for my birthday).
However, once we have kids, I picture my sister (so their aunt) to attend most family events like birthdays because we only live 30 min apart and we are very close. We get together a couple times a month or more anyway, so we’d just make of our our get togethers the kid’s birthday celebration. On the other hand, we aren’t as close to DH’s brother. He’s local, and I’m sure we would invite him to some events, but I don’t see him actually coming, and that would be fine with us.
Post # 32
doesnt it just become a party for kids after the 1st 2 birthdays??
Post # 33
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
My nephews are a 3 hour flight away. My niece is a 3 hour flight and 2 hour drive away. I send gifts – I did go to my eldest nephew’s first and second birthday parties, but I was living in the same city as they do at that point.
Post # 34
I live 1.5 hours away from both of my nephews in another state and I travel a lot for work. So no, I can’t always make their birthday parties. I always try, but sometimes I am away or sometimes I am exhausted and don’t want to make the 3 hour drive roundtrip. Don’t feel bad about this. Plus you sent a gift.
Post # 35
- Wedding: November 2017 - France
When I lived in the same country as them we all lived in the same family complex so I always went to their birthdays. It was a family gathering.
Post # 36
Your SIL is being unrealistic. I have aunts and uncles I have only seen 3 times in my life, and I def never got gifts/cards/calls from them on my birthday. I had one aunt who I would see/hear from every year on my bday but she is my godmother so a bit different. She will get over it. And as the kid gets older likely she will be excited to have a kids party rather than a family one.
Eta – we have three neices and nephews and have been to one of their bdays combined. 😆 They still love my Darling Husband and are not unhappy with him when we do get to see and visit them
Post # 37
I don’t have any, but I can tell you what my Fiance does. For a long time he didn’t live close enough to go, so he didn’t.
Now he lives really close. So he tries to make it to everything he can. But that’s the way he was raised. Family was everything. But they did understand that there are times you just can’t.
I personally wouldn’t give a rats ass. You show up, cool. You don’t. What ever. I doubt my kid would care. My family never went to anything of mine.
Post # 38
My husband’s niece (4) and nephew (1) are about 4 hours away by car and he/we have typically made an effort to go to all of their birthdays so far. We didn’t go to his niece’s birthday this year because we had been traveling nonstop leading up to it and also because it was held at a kid’s venue where the kids play and the adults stand around chatting — so we didn’t feel too badly about skipping and everyone understood.
We haven’t really discussed it, but given the distance I assume we’ll try to go for the younger years and milestone birthdays. We’ll always send a gift though.
Post # 39
We only have one nephew who is about to turn 3 and lives 10 minutes away, so yes, so far we have been to all of his birthdays just because it is convenient. My aunts and uncles did not attend all of my parties growing up. I can recall a couple of birthdays in my younger years when some of my aunts, uncles and cousins were there, but not many. I think your SIL is way out of line. I can assure you the 4 year old is not going to care if you are there or not. Heck, she probably won’t even notice. You have your own lives, and at the end of the day, you have to make the decision that works best for you.