Post # 1
I live in Australia and have always wondered what the etiquette is here when it comes to expenses for bridesmaids/groomsmen.
I have 3 bridesmaids and I’m paying for everything because I want them to be a part of my special day. I always believed that they shouldn’t have to pay if the bride is the one choosing the dress, hairstyle etc. I do understand that depending on the financial circumstances to some couples, brides may ask their bridesmaids to help which is totally fine. My bridesmaids have assisted with my bridal shower and organised a hens weekend for me which is so lovely. I am surprising them with gifts on the wedding day to thank them for everything.
Aussie bee’s – is it the norm for brides here to pay for their bridesmaids? Did you ask your bridesmaids to pay for anything?
What are your thoughts? Thanks guys! Xx
Post # 2
Aussie bee here…my understanding and experience is the the bride pays and chooses dress/hair/makeup etc.
Post # 3
nlouised12 : Aussie custom used to be like British custom. You paid for clothing, shoes, make-up, hair etc for your bridal party. It’s changed somewhat more to the American way of doing things over the last few decades where bridal party pay for their dresses etc. I’ve also noticed we seem to have more recently adopted baby showers from American culture too….
I’ve been flowrgirl and bridesmaid a lot over the years but I’ve only ever once paid my way by way of clothing etc. Every other time all expenses have been paid for me and I contributed to the cost of a kitchen tea and hens party.
Having said that I’m of Italian descent and a lot of the bridal parties I’ve been part of have usually been for couples that are Australian born but of some sort of Mediterranean descent where custom is to pay for everything for your bridal party.
How you do it here in Australia does really depend on your circle or even what cultural background the bride and groom are from. We paid for everything for our bridal party because cultural custom from our heritage dictates that as the norm but even so I personally feel that your wedding shouldn’t be a financial burden on others and if you are dictating dresses, shoes, hair, make-up etc then its not right to ask others to empty their pockets for your choices. I’m probably in the minority on that though. I think if you can’t afford to dress your bridal party then they can still be your bridal party in whatever clothes/make-up/hair/shoes that they would have worn normally to your wedding. Whatever they wear they are still the people you asked to stand up with you on the day. A lack of matching and coordinated outfit doesn’t change that fact.
Edited because autocorrect decided I meant decent not descent! 😕
Post # 4
I’m from New Zealand and from what my Australian friends tell me it’s pretty similar here.
Some brides pay for hair, makeup and dress.
I paid for hair and makeup. My bridesmaids bought their own dresses.
Post # 5
I’m in Australia as well and I paid for the dress, hair, makeup, jewellery and bags for the girls but they bought their own shoes and they were responsible for own accommodation for the wedding.
Post # 6
Brides pay as you are doing 🙂
Post # 7
I’m only having my two sisters as bridesmaids, but the understanding is that they’re paying for their dresses (haven’t discussed hair and makeup yet). They’re both in better financial situations than me and would be uncomfortable otherwise I imagine, based on many other discussions.
Post # 8
Aussie bee here – I think either the bride or bridesmaids can pay for the dresses, but if the bride is dictating hair and makeup then the bride should pay
Post # 9
Aussie bee here. My bridesmaids are paying for their dresses and shoes. I pay for the rest. But I’m not fussed on what dress they pick (within reason) so long as it’s the right colour.
Post # 10
nlouised12 : my girls bought their own dresses – but they could pick any style they wanted in the colour I gave them. I paid for hair and makeup and got them thank you presents.
Post # 11
Im 100% Aussie. Probably on the much more relaxed and upfront end.
I told my bridesmaids how much I was contributing for their dress. I gave them a colour and let them pick what they wanted to wear and if they went over their limit it came out of their own pocket. I will be covering their hair and makeup.
I believe if you are a bride and have a specific dress and hair/makeup style in mind then you should be prepared to cover it all. If brideamaids are covering 100% of everything then they should have a large say in what they like.
Post # 12
Australia is kind of a mix of UK and US customs when it comes to weddings, which makes it very confusing as the expectations are not clear!
Two of my bridesmaids insisted on buying their own dresses and I paid for the third who was financially struggling. A friend did their hair and makeup so they didn’t have to pay for that but I would have paid in any event. My ‘hens’ was just a brunch and everyone paid for their own meal.
Post # 13
All my bridesmaids travelled from interstate, and they paid for their flights and any pair of nude coloured shoes they were comfortable wearing. I paid dresses, accommodation, most meals etc.
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
I bought dresses and jewellery for my bridesmaids, asked that they just wear silver shoes (didn’t care if they wore a pair they already owned, didn’t care about heel height or style) and I paid for hair and makeup. Both flew from New Zealand and paid for their accommodation (well, I think my mum paid for my sister’s accommodation!). I wouldn’t have asked them to buy their own dresses under any circumstances.
Post # 15
- Wedding: December 2018 - City, State
Ive only been a wedding party once (MOH). All the wedding party lived in other states and we had to fly over, but she put us up at her place (farm). Bride paid for dresses and I think we paid for hair and makeup it was a few years ago and I honestly cant recall, due to distance we squeezed in the bachelorette party that week and it was a pretty low key and cheap affair at her house in the spa.