Aussie Bees: Engagement Parties?

posted 10 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee

I’m an Aussie. I know people do tend to invite more to their engagement party and possibly have a small wedding not inviting a lot of those attended the engagement party.

I heard from a colleague though that he regretted it because a lot of people who attended the engagement party and weren’t going to be invited to the wedding would often ask him when is the wedding. It was awkward trying to tell them they aren’t invited to the wedding lol.. 

I think that can work if you have a REALLY small wedding with just close family and a few friends, so people probably won’t feel offended not to be invited. If you still have a reasonably sized wedding, lines can be blurred.

But in short, it’s certainly not uncommon from what I’ve seen!

Post # 3
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I have been invited to larger engagement parties and nit the wedding as the wedding was family only. Totally ok with it as we knew from the start.

Also happens when people have a longer engagement and so have no idea if wedding size when planning the engagement party.

if anyone asks about the wedding just let them know you haven’t confirmed anything yet.

 

Post # 4
Member
1959 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I’m from New Zealand and people invite a huge amount to their engagement party.  It doesn’t mean they’re coming to your wedding. Often when you’re planning your engagement party, you haven’t worked out a wedding guest list or even booked a venue!!!

Post # 5
Member
9044 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

littlemisspetite :  The etiquette is the same as the US. Only those invited to the wedding should be invited to the engagement party. Whether people follow etiquette is a different thing.

Post # 7
Member
9044 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

littlemisspetite :  I don’t understand what is absurd about it? Etiquette is a set of societal rules around being nice, hospitable and gracious. Are you sure you are not confusing etiquette with tradition?

Post # 8
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

I feel like it’s kind of awkward to invite people to your engagement but not the wedding. We are in Aus and invited the same people to our engagement as to our wedding…. however our wedding was only 60 people in total so I get your numbers are different.

Post # 9
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m from Melb – our engagement party was slightly bigger than our wedding and we invited more friends. It was 2 years before our wedding and my dh has a big family so i told my friends the wedding itself was going to be mostly family and they understood. 

Post # 12
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

littlemisspetite :  ok. So. We were grappling with this before our wedding. We’re Ocker so local knowledge here. 

I invited everyone to our engagement party who were invited to our wedding – except we included the kids of family members (in our family, kids are invited to the engagement, but not the wedding for the most part, so no issue).

And we made the mistake of stupidly inviting 2 of my friends who just didn’t make the mark of getting wedding invites. 

Got real awkward. I didn’t have the heart to tell them they weren’t invited. So just ran with it. Guess whose wedding guest list just added 2x + partners? Lol. Don’t mind though. They’re good people and long time friends. They should have been on the list to start with, but you know, trying to keep costs down and all. 

Save yourself the pain. Only invite those to your engagement who you expect to see at your wedding. Take it from an Aussie bee who has been there!

Post # 13
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee

Hmm no I wouldn’t do it, I invited two couples I wasn’t planning to invite to the wedding but they asked for details and said they would save the date, then subsequently asked about it at later events so I ended up inviting them, didn’t want to ruin any relationships. It’s awkward. 

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