(Closed) Aussie weddings and +1 expectations?

posted 7 years ago in Australia
Post # 3
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Hey hun, I am still a little bit away from sending invites, but as we have a small venue (60 people max) we have already made a rough guest list. Initially I did give everyone a +1 as I just assumed that it was rude not to, but have since removed them as the list was getting too large. I asked my mum about it and she was adamant that I invite only people who I know (and like) and as long as the person with no +1 likes who they are sitting with it will be ok.

I have 4 people with no +1 and one person who knows they are invited already asked if they could bring someone and I have already said no. I think the other people will be ok to come by themselves.

Personally if I recieved an invite for just myself I would call and ask if a +1 was allowed as I wouldnt want to rock up alone (that is the crux of the issue methinks), but if they said no I wouldnt care. I would just find a couple/family to tag along with! Your guest really should have called you to clarify before asking randoms on facebook to be her date!

Post # 5
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

@pohget:

I have been guilty of the sin of bringing a random to a wedding before. Oh the things I know now! My only defense is that I was, young, in college, and didn’t realize how inconsiderate I was being.

Post # 6
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I dont think plus 1s are expected, I’ve been given plus 1 before when I was single and didn’t know anyone else at the wedding.

We are giving plus 1s to people in relationships, or who don’t know anyone else. But a group of single friends who know each other won’t get plus 1s.

 

Post # 8
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Ugh, I know what you mean. One of my friends wants to bring he brand new boyfriend. Like she wants a guarantee right now that he is invited. I’m like if you are still together this time next year, then yes, definately invited, but the wedding is 16 months away! She also wants to bring her baby, who will be 2 by then. Adults are $125 per head, and Children are $50, thats a lot of money for her requests.

Post # 9
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Although I’m not Aussie, I’ve lived here for awhile and been to lots of weddings. When we had been dating for about a year, one of the Aussie’s friends was getting married and my name wasn’t on the invite since I had only met the couple once or twice before so I think this may just be a situation of a clueless friend in your case.  The Aussie knew that my name or an “and Guest” not on the invite meant he shouldn’t bring a date. Good luck breaking it to her gently!

Post # 10
Bee
6473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

No, I wouldn’t expect it – and I think your guest might just be reading into it.

You might want to awkwardly break it to her, especially if numbers are tight. I’m sure it’s innocent, especially if she doesn’t HAVE a date she already wants to bring/you know to invite.

Post # 11
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’ve had to write on the RSVP for guests to please only RSVP for those on the invite as we are having a very small wedding like you and also don’t want people we don’t know there. I’m sure some people would think this is rude but the reason we are having a small wedding is to be close to everyone there.

Post # 12
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We are only having a small wedding too. We invited partners along, even if we hadn’t yet met them, but didn’t give the option for singles to bring a mate or something.

Post # 13
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would go with a definite no on the plus one. If you have already invited all those people who are in a relationship then you are perfectly ok!

I dont think that singles in australia should expect a +1 invite, that just isnt really done here, definitely not in my circle of friends.

Good luck with the girl though!

Post # 14
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@pohget

No – there is no “unwritten” rule that you get a plus one.

Mind you – no matter what you do you will offend someone.

Post # 15
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@aussie chick: Hey newbee! Great to see another Aussie on the boards! Where are you from?

Post # 16
Member
1346 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I cant see a problem with saying no plus ones!
We have such tight numbers that we have had to even cut out some peoples partners (like the ones that have on and off not serious partners that are more FWB set ups) I figure if u dont put their name on the invite then they arent invited.

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