(Closed) avoiding in laws cookout and husband is upset

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 29
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State


giley:  I would eat well before going and exercise some self control while there. If you need to bring a snack in your purse just in case it gets hard to not eat. You can’t expect everyone to tailor their meals or events to just you. You also can’t expect to avoid family events over this. You will need to plan accordingly. YOU do the extra work to make these types of situations doable for you. I would also just insist I bring food I could eat in a dish I could take home and that didn’t take up much space. I wouldn’t make this a big issue. Just go and do what’s needed to stay full and on track 🙂

ETA: I see it went well! sweet!

Post # 30
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

giley:  A couple of things.


1) It is likely not IBS. They diagnose that so easily. Doctors don’t know anything about digestion. I went to a colonic irrigation specialist who determined it was candida and gave me all the right supplements and help to improve my situation. I was at the point of liver failure form being so backed up and ill from the toxins in my body. 7 months later from diett, supplements an doclonics I’m much better.

2) my diet is no meat, dairy, sugar, alcohol, gluten amongst a number of other things. Its ok to treat myself onc ein awhile now which is nice but its definitly embarassing when I cannot join in or people see me taking my pills. It was really depressing at first and still is a lot of the time. My therapist has said that I need to put my health first and if anyone doesnt understand that then those are not poeple I want to associate with.

3) Since when is it rude to contribute food to a party? especially a cookout. Either don’t go or bring your own food and say I am just tring ot make things easier on youa s I know my diet is complicated. If they whine and complain. Too bad for them. You need to take care of yourself that is the priority. My in laws ar eso good about it but I still get self concious. At xmas I got so sick they had to take me to the ER which was embarassing but at least it showed them that this wasn’t made up.

4)Just a couple of tips for your tummy, I would cut gluten, dairy, refined sugar and alcohol as well at minimum for 3 months and see how it goes. If you are a meat eater it should be much easier than it was for me because you can have grilled chicken and fish, eggs, eat LOTS of brown rice, and popcorn. Veggies and salads. It seems hard but its really not. Private msg me if you want recipe ideas or help, I’ve gottne very creative with my recipes! I’ve been through this and know how hard it is physically and emotionally.

Also, make sure you are on a good probiotic with at least a count of 30 billion-50 billion. That will make a HUGE difference (if you take ANY of my advice at least do this!). And take vitamin B every day along with magnesium before bed. I promise you these things will help and eventually your body will start to heal itself. This diet will also help you lose weight!

I promise you can get better if you make the right choices! Good luck and don’t let anyone get to you!

Post # 31
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

sept22insf:  Yes, this annoyed the crap out of me too!! Way to be supportive to someone here who is trying to make the best out of a shitty situation (excuse the pun), HelloBlondie.

OP, I feel your pain big time. Bring your own food. They can’t do anything about it and will just have to deal. As for your Fiance, he needs to be a little more sensitive and support you more. Make sure he knows how you feel about this.

Post # 33
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I have to point out the issue with American food culture. They are hosting a bbq serving strictly fatty, processed and obese inducing foods. You have chosen to pursue a healthy eating path and avoid these foods that are not natural and avoided in most other cultures besides the US. Whats crazy is you are being punished! If you want to eat healthy you should not be “health shamed” by your inlaws. You are doing the right thing and they should take direction from you.

Post # 34
2424 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

bostonbride2016:  Everyone likes to say the heck with healthy eating once in a while, and just chow down on a big fatty burger, or some ribs. But this OP’s eating is about health reasons.

It’s like the family being offended because someone is allergic to nuts, and won’t eat them. They would rather have to open someone’s throat with a penknife and a tube?

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