Awful sister in law forcing us to celebrate childs birthday on our wedding day?

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 76
Member
2166 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If you guys don’t want to do this, then just say no. In my experience at weddings, it hasn’t been uncommon for people to say happy birthday to anybody that had a birthday within a week of the wedding, but that’s not to say it’s a standard practice that has to be upheld. Definitely haven’t had birthday cakes, singing, etc. that request seems to be a bit ridiculous.

Post # 77
Member
2528 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Haven’t read all the comments but if it’s  still an issue then I’d say

 

”We really don’t think it’s fair in your young child to be thrust into the limelight when it isn’t their choice. We think it will be too overwhelming for him. Plus it’s not actually his birthday.” 

Post # 78
Member
987 posts
Busy bee

I have actually attended a wedding where something like this was done….a whole nother cake was brought out for “the birthday boy” and we were all suppose to sing to him “happy birthday”….it was the most pathetic singing of the song ever. Everyone had their jaws open in shock and horror that someone had the audacity to think this was a good idea. Everyone was cringing. The only thing that wedding is known for now is how awful the “birthday hijack” was. Do not recommend. 🙁

Post # 79
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

acatfish :  

No, you are not being insensitive. It was very pushy for her to even ask you do that. That’s something you can offer out of the goodness of your heart it is NOT something to be requested of you on your wedding day.

My advice, say no. Don’t be meek or timid, boldy (nicely) say no. If they get mad about it, that’s just fine. Make your wedding day what you want, no one but you and your spouse decide what you’ll do for your wedding day.

Who cares if you look the bad guy. The quicker you just nip this with a definite no the better. Don’t even discuss it. No, I’m sorry we don’t want that on our wedding day. Don’t even get sucked into a conv. about it. Just say our minds are made up and it isn’t up for debate. I’ve never seen anyone singing happy birthday to a child at a wedding reception in my entire life.

Post # 80
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2017

acatfish :  Do you have a day of cordinator or DJ that will be keeping everyone on schedule? If so I would let them know that you are not okay with this. That way the sister and law can’t sneak around your back and try to make this happen anyways. If she is rude enough to ask you this, I woudnt put it past her to try to convince the dj to play the birthday song. 

Post # 81
Member
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

If it were actually the childs birthday, then maybe. But in this case, no way. They are being very selfish. You are not being insensitive at all!

Post # 82
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

mauvebride :  I agree. Her sil sounds audacious enough to do the birthday thing at the wedding without op’s consent!

Post # 83
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Just say NO. (Or no thank you if you prefer.)

Post # 84
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee

This is all about the parents wanting attention on them. I mean at 3 years old a child wouldn’t even know the date of his or her own birthday. Or even care. So it could easily be celebrated before /or after. 

Your SIL needs to get a grip. 

Post # 85
Member
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

babygrandmabee :  I think you are definitely missing something. It is not the child’s birthday that day. This wedding day is about celebrating the union and love between the bride and groom, not about celebrating a child’s birthday that has already passed. They only get one day. It is completely inappropriate.

Post # 86
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Well,  she can’t “force” you to do anything…but if she wants to insist that you share your wedding with her kid, I would insist she pay half.  “That’ll be $10,000 please!”

Post # 87
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

It’s your wedding not their child’s birthday. If they pull it simply give them the other half of the bill. I don’t see them paying for your wedding why should you celebrate their child’s birthday on the one day where it should be about you and your husband.

Post # 88
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

mrscmendez :  I love that idea!!  You wanna share the day?  Fine….here is half the bill.  That child will have many more birthdays, you will have this one day. 

Post # 89
Member
4533 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hell no….and I’m saying that as an aunty who absolutely loves her nieces and nephews and would probably sing happy birthday through choice if our wedding happened to fall on one of their birthdays. 😀

If your SIL pushes it I’d say sure but seeing that you want to use our wedding to celebrate your daughters bday, I think that it has suddenly  become a joint party and here is the bill for half the cost of the event. I expect that money to be transferred into my account by tomorrow. When she goes what!!?? I’d say oh I was joking because I thought you were. I’d in never think that an adult would think that its OK to highjack a wedding with the  purpose to celebrate a birthday that actually happened three days before.  

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