(Closed) Awful waiting weekend… :(

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Has your SO changed your timeline? Were you upset about it?
    My SO has changed the timeline and I was upset : (8 votes)
    28 %
    My SO changed the timeline but I was not upset : (0 votes)
    My SO has never changed the timeline : (8 votes)
    28 %
    Timelines are dumb. : (13 votes)
    45 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    198 posts
    Blushing bee

    @AllieANT:  First, I want to say that I am sorry about your foot surgery and hope you recovery quickly. Most of my young life (ages 3-7), my mom had multiple foot surgeries and just foot problems in general so I have seen how awful it could be.

    Now, I do not think you are wrong for being upset because we are all anxious waiting bees that rely upon the timelines our SOs give us for our sanity (or insanity?). There has to be a reason for it and I would suggest giving yourself a few days to recoup first, let things simmer down a bit because I am sure he knows you are hurting, and then talk about it. There has to be a reason behind it, and after waiting patiently for 4.5 years, and from what I am reading, receiving multiple timelines, you deserve an explanation. Make sure he isn’t planning something special first before you go too deep into the conversation. You said his face was blank which leads me to believe there might have been something serious going on in his mind at the time, but definitely find out why he changed his mind to spring.

    My SO hasn’t changed his timeline…we had some HUUUGE issues from my inability to shut it and let him breathe (that are being resolved quickly now…thank God), but if he were to back out of the timeline he has given me recently, I would be a bit PO’d. Give yourself time to adjust to your meds and rest for a day or two (if your seething emotions will allow it), and then see what is going on. Best of luck to your recovery and future talk. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1979 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @AllieANT:  My SO originally said May of 2012, and I asked for him to make it happen by May of 2013 and I was really upset/hurt/emotional (he had some bad times/ money issues and is too prideful to get me something less expensive even though I would be happy with that).  Then he said by New Years and I was SUPER DUPER excited!!  Recently he said maybe New Years but if not then by May 2013… and I was pissed.

    I don’t think it is silly that you are upset- this is your future and your life!!  I think you have every right to communicate your feelings about it- but then you need to bite your tongue after you speak your peace.  Bringing it up over and over again is nagging (I know bc I do it and it never ends well).

    Why would he postpone it?  Maybe he wants to ask your Dad? Or maybe there is a special event for you two in the Spring?  Or maybe his proposal idea requires warm weather?  Maybe it will be on a trip somewhere he is planning?  Just stay hopeful and heal and if you need anything, then there are plenty of bees here happy to help!! <3

    Post # 5
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    My SO changed his timeline from one year to the next. I was devestated, but I knew why he did it so it helped take some of the sting out of it. Maybe if you can find out why he had to push it back that would help? Maybe it was money, or he plans on getting a photog and spring pictures will be prettier, or he’s planning a trip. Obviously he probably won’t tell you the last two, but he can just say it has something to do with giving you a great proposal.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1292 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Yep. Fiance definitely changed his mind but TBH we were not in a good place so I don’t blame him. Originally he told me that it would be before the end of the end (and TBH that’s because I practically forced him to do give me a timeline..) End of the year came..and then went….
    He proposed 2 months later, in FEB…After I stopped bugging him.

    I know it’s hard and that’s very frustrating. I think you need to ask him why he is changing it.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4152 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I thought my proposal was due for around next month.  I am not convinced at all anymore.  I was upset, but I’ve come around.  Now though, I don’t know.  SO says he want’s kids by the time he’s 40 which is a little over six years away.  He knows I want to be married first. I think we may end up being one of those couples who enjoy each other before marriage and then start popping kids out ASAP afterwards. As opposed to my cousin who got married 3 years after they met and didn’t have kids until the 5 year mark of marriage (8 years total).  SO and I have been together around 2.5 years.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2493 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @AllieANT:  Yep. The original timline was by the end of the year ’08 (dating almost 8 years at that point), which then changed to end of the year ’09. In all fairness, we hit a rough spot financially with me losing my job, but he did end up proposing by the end of the ‘new’ timeline–Christmas Eve ’09, lol.

    Post # 12
    Member
    393 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @stillwaiting88:  I agree with this response. You have the right the be upset and there’s a reason he’s changing the timeline again, (that sounded sci-fi). I’m sorry you have to go through all of the above, especially by yourself Frown. Hopefully after the med effects are gone you can have a conversation and let him know you are hurting from these actions with no explanation. 

    I’ve been with my SO for about the same amount of time and I don’t have a timeline yet, except it’ll happen. We discussed after both our apt leases are up, (July 2013), we’d tie the knot then. But with each passing month I get a bit more antsy.

    Hang in there AllieANT!

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    393 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee

    he just changed his mind?! Oh my god – I would be going INSANE!

    The topic ‘Awful waiting weekend… :(’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors