- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
So I got married about a month ago. The venue was gorgeous, the weather was cool and crisp (just north of San Antonio and September, talk about luck!) but the ceremony and reception were just….horrible. I just. It was horrible.
The ceremony had to be started late because only about two thirds of the guests had shown up. Which is really no problem at all!!! So what if people are late. I’ll get back to why that bothered me later….
Tons of people came into my bridal suite as I was getting ready and after I had already put my dress on. Even my dad and I really wanted it to be a surprise for him and everyone else. But no one cared to ask/think that I might not want that. Now in hindsight I should have let it be known more of what I wanted. Because seriously people can’t read my mind. I get that! But any wedding I’ve been to if I think the bride wouldn’t like something I’m about to do, I do not do that thing. It just hurt that no on else had that same consideration for me.
So anyway back to the ceremony. I was so so just NUMB from planning for the previous 9 months that it didn’t hit me that I was married to my best friend until literally yesterday when I was talking to him after I got home from work. So you can imagine my fake smile as I was walking down the aisle. I know that sounds absolutely TERRIBLE!!!! I was very happy about marrying my now husband but I was so so so exhausted. Mainly because I’m an engineer which is a tough job and then on top of that I was planning a wedding so i was really running on empty by the time the day of rolled around. So bbasically I feel AWFUL about not showing the pure happiness I feel and it turns out my husband picked up on the fake smile (how could he not) and has been worrying about it since the big day. Yesterday when it hit me YES I’M MARRIED TO HIM YES YES YES!!! I of course started crying and feeling all of the emotions I should have been feeling on thr big day. So he saw that and feels better now. So THAT problem is sort of solved.
But now to the reason why I cringe and why it feels like I will ALWAYS cringe thinking about my wedding 🙁
The reception. Or really the non existent one. 🙁
So we had our first dance, everyone ate, then the toasts. I saw tons of empty seats but I didn’t care! My family was there, I was married, and the reception lookee gorgeous. There were tons of beer and food — everyone was going to have a great time. WRONG.
I went to go pee before the real partying started and as I was coming back literally EVERY FAMILY MEMBER AND FAMILY FREIND was leaving. Just leaving. And half of them didn’t even say goodbye. I didn’t even know what to say or do. I didn’t try and get them to stay because shit that’s even worse. And you know where they were all going? Back to the hotel my parents booked and bought for them. And to help facilitate a great time my mom made sure to buy tons of beer and food to keep the party going after everyone sent us off. So they were all going back to the free beer and bed to make sure they could conveniently get drunk at aplace they could crash instead of having a good time with my husband and I at our ONE AND ONLY WEDDING. Even as people were leaving they were calling out to eacother “Alright I’ll meet you back at the hotel” and I was standing right there just internally SCREAMING.
Right then and there I wanted to just run away. I didn’t care anymore. I wanted to leave. But I couldn’t and I didn’t so i tried to get the party going by dancing a bit on thr dance floor. Seeing as half the guests just left the huge ass venue looked embarrassingly empty so as soon as the first dance song finished no one really felt comfortable dancing. And soon after that all the other guests were leaving too. There were however some people who showed up late. And you know what they told me? They said “sorry we didn’t read your invitation and thought the wedding started at 6”. It started at frikking 1pm!!!! Maybe 8 people showed up late and 12 didn’t show up at all. And remember earlier how i said it didn’t really bother me that so many people were late? Well normally it wouldn’t because traffic can get bad but in this particular case since I knew it was because people just didn’t give a crap enough to LOOK AT THE INVITATION it bothered me a whole hell of a lot.
So now Im to the point where I just want to change and just get out of there so I do. Took my mom and I about 30 minutes to do that. So I’m in my going away outfit and YAY!!! only ten guests are left. TEN. :'(
6 are my husbands entire ffamily, 2 are my parents, and the last two are a couple that showed up late.
II’m barely holding it together at this point and knowing I’ll soon be in a car alone where I can just CRY is the only thing keeping me going. I didn’t even get to see all my family before I left 🙁 none of the people I loved were there. None of my own blood 🙁
So anyway we say our goodbyes and when we get into the car.. yea I cried a whole lot. My husband was upset at how just inconsiderate everyone was and all the money that was wasted especially food and drink and favors. It was a coffee themed wedding so we had a huge donut bar and the favors were monogrammed mugs. tons of
mugs were left over as were donuts and drinks.
The guilt I feel for pputting my mom through the planning and my dad through all the money he spent is really killing me.
And what’s killing me even more is what my family did. I never expected them to flake like that.
So tthere’s my awful wedding experience. And I’m desperately trying to get over it but I’m really having a hard time doing so.
HAve any of you ladies done a vow renewal, just the two of you as sort of a do over? There’s NO WAY I’d involve any of my family so it would just be an intimate setting of my and wonderful husband.
AAnyone done something similar???
I’m ddying for some “the same thing happened to me!!!” But I haven’t found any similar stories:(
Any help or adadvice I would REALLY appreciate. Thanks ladies.