(Closed) Awful wedding experience, can't get over it, Vow renewal?

posted 5 years ago in Vow Renewals
Post # 76
Member
204 posts
Helper bee

ElleVee:  OP, did you end up having your vow renewal in the Smoky Mountains last month? Hope you feel better about the situation! 

Post # 77
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

This experience is worth comprehending.. Great one!!

Post # 78
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Thank you for sharing your experience. How are you feeling two years later? I ask because I found this post after googling “anniversary brings back bad wedding memories”. My husband and I will soon be celebrating our two year anniversary, but I just feel depressed about all the bad memories I have from that wedding week and day. For him it’s a big deal to celebrate, but I’d be ok not thinking of it. Have you been able to move on? What’s helped? How do you feel about your anniversary?

Post # 80
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2016

 

ElleVee :  I had a similar thing happen, what did you end up doing? And how are you now? I’m so darn depressed about it, I have no idea how to cope.

Post # 81
Member
403 posts
Helper bee

ElleVee :  I would suggest a renewal ceremony in a year. Redo what upset you the first time.Give serious thought to the guest list. Better yet, renew your vows alone on Maui.  Have a special dinner and a tiny cake. You’ll have better memories.

Post # 83
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Wow just reading your story brings back a lot of emotion I felt on our wedding day. People can be so self centered and ignorant. We had a lot of people leave before even eating so yep we paid for them to not eat. My husband had told me after that he seen a bunch of people out drinking and socializing in the parking lot which was really annoying considering the whole idea of having a reception hall is to party drink and eat in it…. Barely anyone said goodbye and everytime I looked around I seen more people had left that I had not even had the chance to speak with yet. We had spent a lot of money on fireworks for our guests to enjoy and about 10 of us watched them go off. I know there are a lot of things you can’t control on your wedding day but it’s really disheartening when your loved ones are what ends up dissapointing you the most. We had spent money on late night pizza to be delivered for hungry guests and ended up bringing most of it home with us the following day. Thankfully, our wedding party and a few close friends stayed up with us until the wee hours of the morning. You are definitely not alone! And yes a small do over is something I would love to do. Maybe a small night vow renewel with only close friends would be lovely. Anyway just wanted to share my story to show you that you aren’t alone and that people sometimes suck!

Post # 84
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: April 2018

ElleVee :  My wedding was 3 months ago and my own dad ruined my wedding only because a friend of mine got drunk and was dancing like a stupid. He was yelling at my husband in front of my in laws and he even changed his outfit. He was walking with a pair of jeans and a t-shirt in front of everybody and forced me to kick my friend out! I asked my friend to leave but I couldn’t stop crying. The fun part of my wedding had just started… I asked the DJ to stop the music and leave… everybody left short after while I was in the room crying in front of my husband and my sister yelling at my dad for ruining our wedding. Everybody left. I cried for 10 days in a row…. all my dreams were dead over my stupid dad. My parents are both very problematic and have had issues in their own relationship all their life… but really, I didn’t expect my own dad to ruin my wedding! I’d expect it from anybody but not him! Who can’t see his daughter’s happiness! Who can’t shut his mouth for 1 night only! I still cry everytime I think about my wedding or I hear somebody telling me fun storied about their wedding. But I’m happy for finding the right partner in my life, after spending terrible years of youth at my parent’s house!!! 

Post # 87
Member
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’m SO sorry bee, this sounds horrible and I would be so furious with my family! I haven’t read all of the responses but I have seen you’ve gotten plenty of advice, so I am going to take it a different way.

I am an engineer myself so I understand not only the stressful demands of the job (while wedding planning) but the super analytic brain that goes with it! Something I have struggled with for years and I am working hard with my husband on is letting things go, stop analyzing every second and every word said. I know at work that personality trait is what has me succeeding, but there is no need to over analyze everything in our lives. Some times sh*t just happens. 

My advice for you is to step back and take that engineering brain out of the equation for a minute. The wedding has already passed, and unfortunately it cannot be changed. No amount of stress or anger will do anything to fix what has happened, it will only make the situation worse. If you want to renew your vows go for it, but please don’t do it to “replace” memories of the wedding. Dwelling on it nonstop will not change what happened, so just enjoy being married and let it go! 

 

Having an engineering brain is both a blessing and a curse IMO haha. 

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