(Closed) Awkward….

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

She judged you on facebook, you’re judging her here.  Enjoy your wedding.  If her comments bother you that much, confront her about it.  

Post # 3
Member
7432 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Sounds like your bridesmaid isn’t the only one being a little judgy.

Post # 4
Member
47254 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

daniellemc:  I am sure your friend is capable of adapting to your style of wedding.

Post # 6
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If she doesn’t know that’s the kind of wedding you are having, that post wasn’t about you. Don’t take it personally. 

Post # 7
Member
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We are electing to have a simple wedding, but I had the best time at my friend’s large, magnificent wedding. Maybe she doesn’t like lavish weddings in general, but I’m sure she will love your wedding because it is YOUR wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

daniellemc:  you both sound a little judgy. 

Post # 9
Member
7432 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

daniellemc:  maybe your friend also did not intend to sound judgmental or hurt your feelings.

Post # 10
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

daniellemc:  First PPs need to chill out, there was nothing judgemental about your post, you simply described your friend’s wedding.

Second, your friend absolutely committed a facebook faux pas, you shouldn’t ever criticize something general like a wedding style in a public forum.  It’s entirely possible that your friend had just watched one of those million dollar wedding tv shows and was referring to that, but fact is she probably, hopefully inadvertently, offended a number of people.  I think the best way to handle facebook is to assume nobody is referring to you.

I’m guessing your friend is one of your best friends as she’s going to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  A good friend will support your wedding-planning choices regardless of whether she agress with them or not, so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.  Of course if she’s a loud, opinionated, abrasive person who thinks her way is the only way then I might consider not asking her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but that’d be more because I’m not a huge fan of loud, opinionated, abrasive people 😉

Post # 11
Member
3586 posts
Sugar bee

You will be judged no matter what. Don’t let it bother you because everyone has an opinion just as you have one about her day. It wasn’t your cup of tea but you went and you enjoyed it to make the bride happy. You said nothing to hurt her feelings and you should expect the same from her. If she doesn’t know you are having a lavish party than maybe she was not talking in reference to your wedding. As mentioned in the PP if it bothers you talk to her but honestly i wouldn’t even bring it up. It’s kind of childish when you think about it. Just imagine the conversation that you will have and it all will stem from some social media post.  So what if she doesn’t understand not everyone will. 

Post # 12
Member
5188 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

daniellemc:  It’s OK that the kind of wedding she had is not your thing. Likewise, it’s OK if the kind of wedding you have is not her thing. Be appreciative that she’s willing to step up and be your bridesmaid even though she doesn’t even like the kind of wedding you’re having. That says a lot as a friend.

Post # 13
Member
42 posts
Newbee

My thoughts are similar to your friends I guess, in that my wedding is also going to be super casual. But I would never post something like that and I think lavish weddings are fabulous! Just not for me. As PP’s have said, if she knew your wedding will be like that, she probably wouldn’t have said.

 

Oh and I agree with the poster below me,  I didn’t think you were coming across as judgy at all.

  • This reply was modified 5 years ago by  Kassy.
Post # 14
Member
718 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Ugh. Rolling my eyes at all the PPs who jumped so quickly on calling you judgy. If anything, it read as you being extra careful to not come off as such. 

The thing is, FB is not real life, let it go. But, My only concern would be if she’s already agreed on being your bridesmaid, but hasn’t a clue of the formal level of your wedding, how is she going to feel about the financial aspect of it? That might be something you want to clear up right away. She might be expecting to wear a casual dress and you want them in gowns. (Just assuming based on the description of your wedding style) 

Post # 15
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Geesh. I didn’t realize we have such a divide between states about weddings. Sounds like Civil War II is brewing…

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